The Roommate (DVD)

Look, I can relate to Minka Kelly's character Sara. My roommate freshman year in college was bat shit crazy too. Okay, so she wasn't psychotic crazy. She didn't kill any of my ex-boyfriends or stick my cat in a dryer or anything. But she totally did have a few failed suicide attempts, an overdose or two and alcohol poisoning. Now she has a child. Which makes me utterly frightened for the future of our society. But I regress.

The Roommate stars Minka Kelly (a gorgeous girl who I'm not completely sure can act, but hell, is she nice to look at... sort of like this entire cast) as Sara. Sara is a freshman at the fictitious University of Los Angeles and her roommate is this sweet, shy, kinda weird girl named Rebecca (Leighton Meester). Anyway, Sara is super popular and has many paramours, including her ex-boyfriend Jason (Matt Lanter), new boyfriend Stephen (Cam Gigandet) and even one of her professors (Billy Zane, who is SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS!). She's also got tons of friends (Aly Michalka and Danneel Harris). And she's also got a roommate who is off her meds and completely nutso. I'm not sure if Rebecca wants to be Sara's best friend, or actually steal her life, but whatever. She sets out to get back at anyone who does Sara wrong or anyone who is closer to her than she is. Just think Single White Female except way less awesome, with actors who can't really act, set in college.

So, yes, the good part is the cast is incredibly good-looking, like the cast of a CW TV show (which, ironically, most of these actors come from). And Meester, who is famous for playing Blair Waldorf on Gossip Girl, can play crazy and evil pretty well sometimes (although she totally over acts parts of the third act). As for the good parts? That's about all I've got! This "thriller" isn't thrilling. There's nothing tense or spooky or frightening about this movie at all. The plot is stolen from a ton of other movies, especially the aforementioned Single White Female. It's sort of a cheap knock off of that film, a remake without really remaking it. The difference, of course, is that Bridget Fonda and Jennifer Jason Leigh could act circles around Meester and Kelly without even trying. It's also just not very plausible. I know there wouldn't be a movie or anything (which wouldn't be a bad thing) but Sara should have asked a few more questions, been a bit more aware, paid a little more attention and she probably could have saved herself a few months of grief. She seemed like a smart enough girl. Anyway, the worst of it is that we are supposed to be on Team Minka. But guess what? Meester's performance is the only thing relatively interesting about this movie so you find yourself immediately drawn to sympathize with her. What is her back story? Why are her parents so damn weird? What happened with her high school "friend," Maria? What exactly is she after? You just don't get any answers. Perhaps if the script was less concerned with being hip and cool (it's neither), it could have delved a little further into character development and actually presented us with a protagonist we care about and a villain that is well-rounded and interesting. After all, when villains are done really, really well, they are the most fascinating thing about thrillers.

But all of that is just speculation because the movie does none of that. The writing is sloppy. The directing is trite. The performances are all severely lacking. Except for Meester, who is so close to being good. If she had better writing, this could have been a revelatory performance for her. Instead, she's stuck being the best thing about a really crappy movie full of pretty people who can't act.

Grade: D