Snow White and the Huntsman

Here are a few quick facts about Snow White and the Huntsman: At times, it is visually stunning. At times, it is utterly ridiculous. It has absolutely no idea what kind of movie it wants to be. It suffers from miscasting, but is ultimately saved from being a bad movie by one very, very, very, good performance.

So, yes, Snow White and the Huntsman is mostly great to look at. From the dark and dangerous castle, to Queen Ravenna's amazing and beautiful clothes, to the scary Dark Forest, to the beautiful and enchanting Sanctuary, the scenery and the wardrobe and great. There's nothing lacking from the movie visually, that's for sure. And, this, sometimes makes up for a pretty lackluster script. I mean, we all know the story of Snow White and this take reimagines it slightly. Queen Ravenna (Charlize Theron - more about her later) kills a sweet King and entraps his pretty daughter, Snow White (played by Kristen Stewart as a teenager (I guess??)) in a tower. Ravenna wants to be the fairest of them all and she is for many years, until Snow White comes to age and outshines her. She then escapes the tower and disappears into the Dark Forest. If Ravenna can eat her heart, she will have immortality and beauty forever. She hires a huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) to track her and bring her back alive. Of course, there are also 7 dwarves. There's also a bit of ridiculousness thrown in there. The whole enchanted fairy land of sanctuary is beautiful to look at... but it's also pretty stupid. There's fairies and giant white deer and trolls and some of it is just a little too fairy tale for me. I mean, if it wants to be a fairy tale, fine. But that's another problem. Snow White and the Huntsman has absolutely not idea what kind of movie it wants to be. Does it want to be a fairy tale? Does it want to have a romance element? Does it want to be dark and gothic? Does it want to be a medeival Game of Thrones type battle film? I think the writers just threw everything against the wall to see what would stick. There is really no cohesiveness to the final script. There are a lot of ideas, and some of them are good, but none of them are fleshed out enough to completely work.

Then there is my own little pet peeve. The love triangle. Ugh. I hate love triangles in movies so much I can barely put into words just how much I hate them. In my nearly thirty years of life, I have never had even one single man tell me he loves me, so I find it utterly IMPLAUSIBLE that every single time Kristen Stewart is in a movie, she has multiple men professing their love and fighting over her. It's ridiculous. It's unncessary. It's not realistic (at least not in my life). And believe me, I know I'm arguing about things being realistic in a movie that had dwarves and trolls, but that's just how badly I hate love triangles. Even if they involve the steely, handsome, charming and dangerous Chris Hemsworth. I just don't like them. I wish movies would do away with them altogether. And beleive me, I wish I had Channing Tatum and Scott Speedman or, better yet, Tom Hardy and Chris Pine, fighting over me but that's not going to happen. Having one man love you is good enough in the real world. And I will admit that this was a very minor part of the story, luckily, but the fact that it was still there angered me deeply.

Whoever cast this movie cared more about getting butts in the seats than anything else (it worked - the movie was number 1 at the box office this weekend). I dare you to find me anyone who is not a Twihard who actually thinks that Kirsten Stewart is "fairer" than Charlize Theron. In fact, there are very, very few women out there who are hotter than Charlize. Kristen Stewart is for sure not one of them. Stewart's acting also leaves so much to be desired. She only has one expression and it's scared/wounded. Surely, she's not the right girl to lead a revolution. Stewart tried her best and it may work for movies like this and Twilight, aimed at a certain demographic. But if she wants to succeed and be respected by a wider audience and do better, more adult oriented films, then she is going to have to bring it, significantly. Then again, just about anyone would wither in comparison to Charlize Theron in this role. She is magnetic, deliciously over the top, fantastically evil. Her Queen Ravenna is so, so good. It's probably the single best performance of this year, so far. Theron, who is so breathtakingly beautiful, plays such a great evil character, that it's mesmerizing to watch. Her amazing performance is so much fun, so layered, so delightful, that it almost makes this whole movie worth caring about. Almost.

Grade: C-