Ranking the Halloween Franchise

Every October for the last five years or so, I have devoted the entire month to watching (and re-watching) as many horror movies as I possibly can. My Netflix queue is filled up and ready to go. I have a Dario Argento double feature waiting patiently for me for this weekend. While Texas Chainsaw Massacre has sat atop my Best Horror Movie list for, well, ever, my favorite horror movie franchise happens to be Halloween. I will watch and re-watch (and re-watch, and re-watch, and re-watch) all of those movies as often as possible. It's virtually unheard of by a franchise of any kind to still be churning out quality films by the time you reach the 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th installments but that's exactly what sets the Halloween films apart from every other franchise. So, to kick off Horror Movie Month in style, I have decided to compile my top ten list ranking the Halloween films. Here we go...

10. Halloween II (2009) - Not the original follow up, but Rob Zombie's re-imagining in which he manages to continue to make the beloved characters of Laurie Strode and Dr. Loomis absolutely abhorrent and in which he includes ghosts and horses and I don't even remember what else. I mostly managed to block it out of my consciousness, thank goodness.

09. Halloween: Resurrection (2002) - The red-headed step child of the Halloween franchise, Resurrection is a complete mess of a movie that is only saved by Jamie Lee Curtis' cameo. She was contractually obligated to appear so she probably begged and pleaded to be killed off (although that could be easily fixed in future installments). Basically this movie involves Michael returning to his childhood home to find a bunch of college kids - and Busta Rhymes (no, for real) - filming a reality program there. And that about sums up how much it sucks.

08. Halloween (2007) - When I first heard that Halloween was being remade, I was furious. Then I heard Rob Zombie was remaking it. I was a huge fan of his film House of 1000 Corpses so I sort of thought, "Well, if SOMEONE has to remake Halloween, I'm glad it's him." And I can admit when I'm wrong because I was wrong. His remake is an atrocity to everything the Halloween films stand for including, but not limited to, Taylor Scout-Compton's Laurie becoming an oversexed hyper-annoying character instead of the stale-fast and virtuous survivor we remember.

07. Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) - As far as horror movies go, this isn't bad, per se. However, as far as Halloween movies go, it's at the bottom of the barrel, mostly because it has absolutely nothing to do with Michael Myers. Based on the blazing popularity of the first two, someone decided the best idea would be to do a series of movies based around the holiday and having nothing really to do with the original characters. The movie was a failure so that idea was abandoned. So Halloween III, about a mask that will turn those wearing it into homicidal maniacs when a certain commercial plays on Halloween night, remains as the one that doesn't quite fit in.

06. Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995) - I'm in the minority here but I enjoy the continuity of characters in this, the sixth, film. Remember Tommy Doyle from the original Halloween? The little boy that Jamie Lee's Laurie babysits? Well, he's all grown up and the protagonist of this film and played by Paul Rudd. Also, remember Laurie's daughter Jamie (played in 4 and 5 by Danielle Harris, who would grow up and be the best thing about the Halloween remakes)?? Well, she's all grown up (and not played by Harris for some reason) and has a baby of her own and Michael is on her trail. Of course, this movie suffers from a bit of ridiculous pandering, i.e., Michael suffers from some sort of disorder which gives him the urge to kill off every single one of his family members. The one downside of the franchise is the continual need to explain everything and build mythology upon mythology. Sometimes, the less you know is scarier.

05. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) - After the failure of Halloween III, the series was relaunched with the return of Michael (hence the title). He discovers that his sister Laurie was killed in a car crash but left behind a daughter named Jamie (Danielle Harris) and he feels the urge to go after her. I always loved the scenes with the lynch mob in this movie, and of course, that frightening ending that shows maybe some things do run in the family.

04. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989) - This picks up right where 4 leaves off and Jamie is now mute and safely tucked away in a home for troubled children. Of course, it is Halloween night and so she won't be safe for long because Michael has a very real connection with her and is out to find her. While 4 and 5 are not the best of the series, I've always had a soft spot for them and I think these two films show how much the series thrives, even as it grows older. Also, given my mood, these two films can be reversed in their order.

03. Halloween II (1981) - Taking place almost directly after the original film, Halloween II was great in so many ways. Laurie Strode is in the hospital being treated after the horror that was Halloween night. However, Michael will soon find her, and he will kill everyone that stands in his way. It's a great and classic slasher film. The only downside of the movie is that this is where it's established that Michael and Laurie are brother and sister, a development I'm not exactly fond of. I don't think it's necessary at all, but it is what it is.

02. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998) - If you pretend that Halloween 3, 4, 5 and 6 don't exist then Halloween 2 leads right into this installment. We meet Laurie who goes by an assumed name after faking her death and is currently the headmaster at a prep school in California. She has a son (Josh Hartnett) who attends the school and a new boyfriend and is fairly happy. So, of course, Michael comes and finds her. The ending of this movie is so great and cathartic (even though Resurrection eventually reverses it) that it's an all around great, fun movie. Her real life mom, the ORIGINAL scream queen in Psycho, Janet Leigh even makes a cameo.

01. Halloween (1978) - Was there ever any doubt that the original Halloween would top the list? It just has to be. It's a horror movie classic and the second best horror movie of all time (in my opinion) for a reason. It stands the test of time. Without all the mythology that later gets heaped upon the series, Halloween was simply about a little boy who snaps and kills his family and goes to live in a mental institution and then breaks loose. He returns to his hometown and fixates on a sweet high school girl and eventually goes on a rampage in which he kills all of her friends and tries to kill her. There is no reason for any of this, which is why Halloween is one of the scariest films ever made. It's just a crazy guy with a knife who wants to kill you. You have no idea why. And that's terrifying.