The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Up front notice - I am not a Lord of the Rings fan. In fact, I only saw about half of the first movie. I attempted to watch it, but I work a lot of hours so I fell asleep and only saw about half of it. My level of interest in those movies was almost entirely because sexiest man alive Viggo Mortensen was in them. So, you can gauge my excitement for watching The Hobbit accordingly.

It seems to me, and again, I know little to nothing about these movies, that all of these films are more or less the same. A bunch of dwarves or elves or hobbits or whatever walk and talk for a while. Then they fight some equally strange creature. Then they walk and talk for a while. Then they fight some other strange creature. Then they walk and talk a little more. I think if you've seen one then you have seen them all. Maybe I'm being a bit blaise about the whole thing, but I just don't understand the appeal.

That being said, I didn't entirely hate The Hobbit. The story is more or less what I described above with the added plot of Gandalf (Ian McKellan) recruiting Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) to accompany him and a bunch of dwarves on a journey to a mountain. Years before, a dragon came and took over the dwarf kingdom and now they must slay the dragon and reclaim their kingdom. Along the way, they fight orks and goblins, chill with Cate Blanchett (THE ONLY WOMAN IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE!!!!!!) for a hot minute and have a game of riddles with Gollum (Andy Serkis) which, I'll even admit, was great.

The first 45 minutes or so consists entirely of a group of dwarves and hobbits eating dinner and singing and being generally annoying. After that, I was ready to put this movie on my Worst of the Year list. However, it gets better. Despite the repetitive nature of the plot, there were some generally enjoyable moments. For instance, there was a very well choreographed fight scene with a lot of goblins that is pretty awesome. Also, the scene with Gollum was hands down my favorite part of the entire movie. Gollum is endlessly fascinating and I wish the movie had more of him.

Overall, however, The Hobbit just isn't for me. I understand it's appeal and to each his own and all of that, but I am not one for fantastical voyagaes. All I kept thinking about during the movie was what a bad wizard Gandalf must be. If he was a good wizard, I feel like he could just cast a spell to generally avoid trouble. Then they could move effortlessly to the mountain, slay the dragon and reclaim the kingdom. Bam, there is your 90 minute Hobbit movie, Hollywood. But I guess it's not about the destination, it's about the journey. And, that's fine, but it's also not my cup of tea.

Also, more Cate Blanchett, please!

Grade: C-