Horror Movie Month: More Bad Horror Movies...

I think it's time to stop taking recommendations from friends on Facebook, and just go back to the classics. So far my Netflix horror movies this year have been disappointing at best.

V/H/S/2
The Stars: Adam Wingard
The Plot: Much like the original (read: superior) V/H/S, this film revolves around people searching for something and finding a collection of creepy VHS tapes instead. In the first (read: good) film, it was a group of kids who break into a mansion. Here it is a pair of private detectives searching for a missing student. Said VHS tapes contain a few different short films, none of which hold a candle to anything in the original (read: better) film.
The Scares: There is nothing here that even holds a candle to one of the shorts in the original featuring a couple on a tourist-y vacation which still gives me nightmares when I think about it. The best part of this film is the wrap around narrative, i.e. the part with the detectives which opens and closes the film and which is interspersed into the shorts. It's merely the set up, but it's the best thing about the movie, which is sort of sad. Instead of featuring shorts that are genuinely chilling, this features vignettes about aliens, zombies and men that don't blink.
The Body Count: When one of the shorts is called "Slumber Party Alien Abduction" and there's another featuring a slew of zombies raiding a BBQ, it's sort of hard to keep track.
The Grade: C-, and that's sort of generous.

The Collection
The Stars: Josh Stewart, Emma Fitzpatrick
The Plot: A man escapes the clutches of a crazy serial killer, only to return to the horrific hotel where he was held when the family of a missing girl blackmails him into leading him to the killer.
The Scares: There was one moment which was super scary, but when your movie is 90 minutes long and you have 10 seconds of frights, it's not boding well.
MY CONFUSION: Someone explain to me how this has anything, ANYTHING, to do with The Collector, from a few years ago, which stars Stewart as the same exact character, but to my memory, has nothing to do with anything.
The Body Count: Again, when they kill off HUNDREDS of people in the first ten minutes, it's hard to keep track.
The Grade: C

Silent Hill: Revelation
The Stars: Adelaide Clemens, Sean Bean, Kit Harington (which is apparently Jon Snow from Game of Thrones real name, but if it's okay with everyone, I'm just going to continue to call him Jon Snow)
The Plot: A young girl who thinks she is on the run from the cops after her father killed a man discovers that it's not the cops but a secret order from the creepy town of Silent Hill who are hot on her tail. Seems she is needed in Silent Hill to defeat evil, or escalate evil, or do something. I don't entirely know. This movie was whack.
The Scares: Nope. Just stupid with all kinds of creepy monsters and stuff. I mean, Jon Snow wasn't even in it that much and he's literally the only reason I was watching it. Also, Silent Hill is loosely based on a town near where I live, that's been burning underground for decades, so I always found that interesting. Sadly, that sentence is more interesting than anything in this movie.
The Body Count: One that I can recall but I pretty much stopped paying attention whenever Jon Snow wasn't on screen.
The Grade: D- (and it's not an F because Jon Snow took his shirt off for a few seconds, which is more than he does on Game of Thrones since they have him in snow covered, freezing cold temperatures at all times, which is pretty aggravating for me... send him to somewhere tropical to be a guard!!!).