Worst Films of 2014

Before I deep dive into the best of 2014 next week,  it's time to round up the movies I suffered through so you don't have to!

(Dis) honorable Mention - The Double
I can't actually put this on my list because I only made it through about 10 minutes. It could have gotten super good, but mostly I found it to insufferable to even give it a shot.

10. The Monuments Men - A movie so bad that even the cast of (in order of awesome-ness) Cate Blanchett, Bill Murray, John Goodman, Bob Balaban, Matt Damon, George Clooney and Jean Du Jardin can't even save it. Something with such a great cast and interesting premise shouldn't be so mind numbingly bland and boring.

09. Lucy - Sure, Scarlett Johansson is a total bad ass in this movie, but that doesn't change the fact that this movie is straight out terrible.  It is a brainless, stupid fun romp trying to pass itself off as a smart and sophisticated philosophical art house film.

08. Vampire Academy - As someone who doesn't deny that my inner 14 year old LOVES shit like this (I am an unabashed lover of Pretty Little Liars), this was so bad that it couldn't even be considered good or fun in a guilty pleasure way.

07. About Last Night - Maybe not as bad as I'm giving it credit for being, but if you are going to remake one of the best 80s movies of all time, at least make it worth my time and not some bland and pointless unnecessary piece of crap.

06. Obvious Child - A romantic comedy about stand up comedy and abortion, the only problem being the "jokes" were seemingly written by frat boys and 12 year olds and not actual smart, educated adults.

05. The Giver - One of the loveliest books I have ever made gets an adaptation that more or less proves that whoever adapted the book didn't understand anything that made the book so special to begin with.

04. Fading Gigolo - A movie with SUCH a ridiculous premise (a florist becomes a gigolo (wait, no, a florist played by JOHN TURTURRO becomes a gigolo)) that it is hard to even take it seriously at all. And it's not a comedy.

03. Better Living Through Chemistry - A movie that is so bad, I have seemed to manage to shut it out of my brain completely. All I remember while watching it was that I felt actively sad that Sam Rockwell somehow got blackmailed into starring in such a dud.

02. 3 Days to Kill - Look, I love Kevin Costner and I want to give him the benefit of the doubt when he stars in shitty movies, but this might technically be the single worst movie I have seen in a very, very long time. It is the biggest waste of time and money, and there is actually nothing redeeming about it at all. There is only one reason it is not number 1....

01. Enemy - Enemy is my worst movie of the year for quite a few reasons. First of all, it's a terrible movie. But more importantly, it had every single opportunity to be a good movie and it wasted every one of them. It has a riveting leading man at its core, decent enough directing, a story that could be interesting. And it still manages to be straight up bad. It's not just the ridiculous ending or the fact that it's fans online say things like "if you don't like it, then you must not GET it." Oh, I understand it just fine, and it was nothing but a huge failure that tried to hard to be quirky and off beat. Next time, just try to be good.