Watchmen

Maybe it's because I never read the graphic novel. I don't know. Maybe I just don't get it. But when I say I hated Watchmen, I really hated Watchmen. I've heard it's a pretty faithful adaptation but I also heard the graphic novel was intelligent and thought-provoking. This movie is anything but. There is no soul here. Eventhough I very much love at least three of the actors in this movie, I didn't care about any of the characters at all. Not even a little bit. These characters just aren't fleshed out at all. The bromance between Night Owl and Rorschach is more realistic than the big love triangle and I don't think it should be. The movie is long but I love long movies. I have no problems with long movies... as long as they use the time wisely. I'm not sure that Watchmen does that. Also, being long is the least of the problems here. I know action movies (if this is even an action movie since there are long stretches where there is NO action whatsoever) don't necessarily need good scripts but the writing here was really terrible. The dialogue was very lacking of any wit or intelligence. And, sure, the special effects were great but it's 2009 - the special effects better be great!
The soundtrack was pretty amazing... but it doesn't fit the movie at all. You know when you see a movie and there is a certain scene and a certain song and you think, "My Lord, that song was just made for that scene!" Well, this movie is sort of the opposite of that. The songs were all great but with the exception of the great use of "The Times They Are A-Changing" by Bob Dylan, none of the songs fit with the movie at all. Also, just so you know, when I hear "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen, I do not automatically think, "steamy sex scene." At all.
The acting was lacking at best. There was one person in this movie that was amazing - Jackie Earle Haley as Rorshchach. He was a complete and total badass and he was the one and only thing about this movie that made it worth watching (with the exception of Patrick Wilson's ass... which was just lovely). All of the other actors (and I adore Patrick Wilson and Matthew Goode and I like Billy Crudup a hell of a lot) were adequate at best. I do give props to the casting people for actually hiring real actors and not action heroes... but it just doesn't work.
Bascially, the movie was just a big mess. It was inconsistent and disjointed. At one point, near the end, I totally forgot about the basic plot of the movie. Rorschach said, "We need to find out who killed the Comedian" and I was all, "Oh yeah! That's what this mess is about." I'm sure everyone had the best of intentions but with their best efforts, came an incoherent mess.
Grades...
A+ for Patrick Wilson's ass
A- for Jackie Earle Haley's badass performance
D for the overall movie.