Worst Movies of 2010

So, my Best of lists will be coming the first week of January (as long as I can see freaking Black Swan by then!!!!) but for now I thought I'd do my Worst Films of the year list...

10. Happiness Runs - Every once in a while, a really great movie goes straight to DVD. This is not that movie. Okay, okay. I only watched it in the first place for Shiloh Fernandez. But this movie (about the inner workings of a hippie cult and the teens who want to break away from it) is just plain awful.

09. The Killer Inside Me - Casey Affleck stars as a Texas sherriff who goes a little crazy and starts killing people, including his hooker mistress (Jessica Alba). I mean, Affleck's performance is pretty great but this movie has absolutely no point whatsoever. It's just very bad. Maybe it's because the story is so poorly laid out? I'm not sure. Just a big waste of time.

08. Date Night - Incredibly, incredibly unfunny. Thank goodness for James Franco, who is the only, THE ONLY, good thing about this terribly unfunny script. I mean, Steve Carell and Tina Fey are funny, right? Not in this movie! Mistaken idenities lead the suburban couple on a crazy night in NYC. It's watchable but it's not a comedy.

07. The Back Up Plan - Jennifer Lopez stars as a woman who becomes pregnant via artificial insemination and THEN meets the man of her dreams. Again, here is a romantic comedy that is neither romantic nor comedic. Just another huge waste of time.

06. Book of Eli - Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, Mila Kunis... sounds like a great cast right? Too bad they are stuck in such a shitty post-apocalyptic movie about... the Bible? Who even knows or cares. Denzel walks across the country, fighting people, being a wannabe bad ass and also super annoying.

05. Hot Tub Time Machine - Why John Cusack!?!?!! Awesome name. Awesome premise. Awesome cast. But none of it works at all. Instead of some sort of soul searching 80s comedy, it's sexist and uses the lamest jokes of all time. Oooh, that girl is wearing leg warmers! Hilarious! Michael Jackson used to be black! Hilarious. Clark Duke is the only good thing about this movie. He needs to start picking better movies. He's above this crap.

04. Eat Pray Love - So, I loved the book. I really didn't think the main character was quite so... obnoxious in the book, but I could be wrong. Because in the movie, played by extremely likeable Julia Roberts, she becomes the most annoying person on Earth. Oooh, pity me because I'm rich and white and men throw themselves at me everywhere I go and I've never been single or alone for a day in my entire life. And I'm a writer and I have the ability to leave my job for a year and travel to Italy and India and Bali. Fuck you, must be nice.

03. Edge of Darkness - I knew I would hate this movie before I even saw it and I don't know why I wasted my money on a movie starring a racist, sexist, hateful person like Mel Gibson. Anyway, he's a cop. His daughter gets killed. Was it meant for him? He runs around like a man men and tries to solve the crime. The script is awful and nothing makes sense at all. Pure crap.

02. Daybreakers - Vampires, what a new and interesting development for 2010. Nobody makes vampire movies anymore! In this movie, it's the near future and pretty much everyone is a vampire. There are very few humans left and if they don't want to get bled dry, they have to come up with synthetic blood. They somehow put Ethan Hawke in charge of this. He should just call the guys from True Blood and see how they did it. Dumb times ten.

01. Legion - Just the worst movie of the year. I honestly tried to shut it out of my mind as much as I could so I don't exactly remember what it's about but there is a diner in the middle of nowhere and a pregnant waitress and a bunch of annoying rednecks and a good angel and a bad angel and a really shitty script and some godawful acting.