Worst Films of 2016

I know I have been neglecting this blog big time, but I do want to keep up with my annual Best (and Worst) lists, in case I ever want to revive using this on a regular basis. For now, here are the five worst movies I saw this year, so you know what to stay away from at the Redbox or on Netflix (spoiler alert - it's horror and comedy!)!

05. Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (D) - With people like Anna Kendrick, Adam Devine, and Aubrey Plaza involved, this story about a pair of douchey brothers who try to find nice girls to take to their sister's destination wedding, and instead end up with a pair of gold digging party animals is a huge waste of talent. I could see why someone like Kendrick would want to play a role like this - it seems super fun, I'm sure. And I'm sure it was a lot of fun to film in Hawaii. But mostly this is unfunny and a wasted opportunity.

04. Ride Along 2 (D) - As long as a movie makes money, it will get an unnecessary sequel. Ride Along was a big, surprising hit. It was also kind of funny and charming. The sequel - which still stars king of the box office Kevin Hart and king of my heart Ice Cube - is neither of those things. If you want to make a sequel to a hit, at least don't rush it along so it makes more money. At least take your time and make sure there is a solid, funny script attached before you put out something that isn't even mediocre.

03. Dirty Grandpa (D) - I saw a surprising number of bad comedies this year, but Dirty Grandpa was the worst of the worst. Sure, it was fun to watch Robert DeNiro sing karaoke to N.W.A., but that's about the only thing good about it. I'm not sure what kind of actor Zac Efron wants to be at this point. I thought he was making some interesting decisions there for a while and I thought he might have the chops to become a solid, interesting actor. But now it seems like he just wants the easy pay day to star in a bunch of unfunny comedies.

02. 31 (D-) - I wish someone would tell Rob Zombie to stop. I thought I would give him one more chance after Lords of Salem, i.e. the single worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life. And this movie has a decent idea - a bunch of carnies in the 1970's find themselves locked inside a murder compound where they must survive the night and a bunch of chainsaw wielding clowns. Maybe in the hands of a better writer, it would have been a decent Purge-meets-It sort of mash up. But Zombie insists on writing and directing everything. He's not a terrible director (in fact, there were flashes of genius in House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects), but maybe he needs to stop writing his own material. The only thing that saves this from getting an F and being the worst movie of the year is a pretty impressive, balls to the wall performance by Richard Brake as Doomhead, the most sociopathic, monologue spouting, sinister maniac of the clowns.

01. The Forest (F) - And unfortunately, this is the worst of the worst. There is no great performance to save this monstrosity. It is just an unscary, badly written, poorly directed, boring movie with a bunch of boring performances. Stay far away. Unless you need to take a nap.


I want to try to see a few more movies before I release my best of the year, but those lists should be coming around the 9th of January, give or take a day or two.