Sex and the City, Funny Games, Teeth

Sex and the City - If you were a fan of the television series, then I can't possibly see a way you wouldn't love this movie. And if you weren't a fan of the television series, you have no business going to see the movie anyway. Hence, everyone that sees this movie should love it! It's got everything you could want from a Sex and the City movie - sex, shoes, fashion, New York City, friendship, cocktails, etc. It's fantastic. Over the course of six seasons, these women didn't feel so much as fictionalized characters as they felt like old friends. And I've missed them! The movie picks up a few years after the series ended. Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker - adorable as ever) has moved on from her newspaper column and her Vogue articles and is now writing books. She's also still very much involved with Big (Chris Noth) and the two are looking to move into together. Miranda (Cynthia Nixon - my soul mate - I am so much like her it's scary) is still living in Brooklyn with Steve and Brady and their relationship seems to be strong... except they don't really have sex anymore. Charlotte (Kristin Davis - she has one moment in the film that blew me away) is as happy and optimistic as ever - living with Harry and their adopted daughter Lily and just generally being the luckiest lady in the world. Samantha (Kim Cattrall - fierce!) has moved to Malibu to follow Smith's acting career - something she's not all that happy about - but other than the fact she's in a monogamous relationship, she hasn't really changed all that much. Lots of changes and events occur. I don't want to give too much away but the plot and story is really well done. The acting is all very good as well. Since it's Parker's movie, she is clearly the stand out, especially in the middle half of the movie where she plays out a very uncharacteristic sequence very, very well. Overall, I couldn't have asked for anything more from the Sex and the City movie. It's really everything a Sex fan could want and it's definitely worth checking out!
Grade: B+

Funny Games - Funny Games has a similar story line to the recently released The Strangers - only it's way better and way edgier. Michael Haneke remade his own film for American audiences and it's artsy and edgy and very well done. Naomi Watts and Tim Roth star as a family (they have a son as well played by Devon Gearhart) who are retreating to their vacation house for a week or so. They arrive to the perfectly idyllic setting and are soon interrupted by a couple of very polite strangers (very blonde, very pretty Michael Pitt and Brady Corbet) who say they are guests of their neighbors. Guess what? They aren't! Then the fun starts. And it is mostly fun. This isn't just torture porn (in fact, you see very little violence - its mostly off camera). Corbet's Peter (or Tom or Tubby or whatever you want to call him) says at one point, "You shouldn't forget the importance of entertainment" as a response to Watts' Ann asking why they don't just kill them already. Indeed, this is the message of the movie. Funny Games is a stark and unrelenting look at our infatuation with violence. The film gets into your head because it shows absolutely nothing. You are left to imagine what is happening off screen (and Haneke uses great long takes so it sometimes feels like minutes until you actually find out what happened) and that is more terrifying than actually seeing anything. This movie is really a superbly crafted intellectual film (it's maybe almost too smart at times, actually). The acting is really great - especially Watts and Pitt. Watts plays the woman in distress so well. And Pitt is terrifying and hilarious at the same time. It loses pace near the end a bit - when the focus shifts primarily to Watts and Roth. Not that they aren't interesting characters - they are - but I found myself much more interested in these nihilistic, pretty, polite killers. And the ending boat scene? Fucking brilliant!
Grade: B+

Teeth - Honestly, I don't know what to say about this movie. I was somehow disappointed and somehow not disappointed. It's a strange mixed reaction to a strange film. Teeth takes a legend (vagina dentata) and runs with it - making it into a late night chick-flick gore fest. It's not so much I Spit On Your Grave (now that's a movie!) as it is bible-thumping virgin bimbo taking out the sleazy teen boys in her high school. Dawn (Jess Weixler) is a blonde high schooler who takes a vow of chastity (although that doesn't really last long - I mean, she doesn't really have strong convictions). She meets a seemingly sweetheart virgin boy who she starts to date - but then he tries to rape her and she uses her secret super power to avenge her purity. Yes, it's about as ridiculous as it sounds. It just gets cheesier and cornier as the movie progresses (and the imagery! could it be any less subtle?). The movie can be seen as some sort of feminist empowerment film - and it almost is, but there are too many inconsistancies with the message that it doesn't ever all add up. I mean, Weixler does a good enough job playing the protagonist. And writer-director Mitchell Lictenstein has some talent for making something that is a little funny and entertaining. It's not fantastic but it's also not terrible. There was so much potential there. It just didn't really work out the way it could have.
Grade: C-

Indiana Jones, The Strangers + June Movie Preview

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Or as I like to call it, Indiana Jones and the Hotness of Shia. Seriously, the only reason I even went to see this movie was because of Shia. My dad said, "Hey wanna go see Indiana Jones?" and I said, "Sure, but I never saw any of the other ones." He said, "That's okay but maybe you should watch them first." And I said, "Yeah, but Shia isn't in them." And Shia was possibly the only good thing about the movie. Well, Shia and Cate Blanchett who I have totally fallen completely in love with since I'm Not There. Maybe I just wasn't completely prepared for how absolutely ridiculous the movie would be (spoiler alert - it's about aliens... really). Or maybe there was just too much CGI craziness. I mean, I'm sure there was a plot in there SOMEWHERE. By the end, it became way too much like National Treasure 2 but with a way hotter supporting cast. I've heard fans of the original series actually really liked it so I guess maybe it's a decent movie. I just didn't like it that much. Except Shia. And Cate and her crazy accent.
Grade: C-


The Strangers - As far as thrillers go, this movie isn't entirely bad. It has some very eerie scenes and at times it's actually quite intense. Other times, however, it's completely cliched and the ending is just so atrocious that it more or less ruins the movie. Overall though the movie starts out pretty well. The acting by Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman is efficient. The strangers are creepy enough. All of the terror is unexplained (which is scarier, right?). There are plot holes galore and inconsistencies that are glaringly obvious. Still, it's a horror movie, right? I mean, half the fun is shaking our head when a character runs in the wrong direction. The movie is intense but it is also shallow. It leaves one distraught and unsatisfied. Overall, the movie is at times intense but mostly lackluster. It's anti-climactic (that ending is just awful!) and at times even boring. Mostly it just makes me really want to see Funny Games even more than I already do. The Stranger is most likely just a mainstream version of that, which I'm sure (hoping) is way better and edgier.
Grade: C-

June Movie Preview...
June 6
Kung Fu Panda - Light and fluffy entertainment. Maybe kids will like.
You Don't Mess with the Zohan - Looks like it might just be the worst movie of the year. I'm sure my dad will want to see it so I just might have to go see it. That way I'll have something for my Worst Of... list.

June 13
The Happening - M. Night Shayadfasldjfaslman endlessly disappoints me (although I am the one person who loved The Village). This is his first R-rated movie. Zooey is in it. Still, I'm just not sure about it.
The Incredible Hulk - I guess we are pretending the first one just didn't exist, right? I can live with that. Edward Norton is in it and I love him but... I can't buy him as a super hero. Like, at all. Plus, the Hulk has already been done. Move on. I mean, I guess it can't be any worse, right?

June 20
Get Smart - My love for Steve Carrell may outweigh my hatred for Anne Hathaway. MAY.
The Love Guru - Oh wait. This might be the worst movie of the year. Justin Timberlake can strut around in a speedo all he wants. This movie still looks totally terrible.

June 27
Wall-E - Now, I am not a fan of kid movies. But, this looks unbelievably adorable that even I may have to see it.
Wanted - James McAvoy and his gorgeous blue eyes in a movie? Yes, please. James McAvoy and his gorgeous blue eyes in a superhero movie? Hell, yes! James McAvoy and his gorgeous blue eyes in a superhero movie co-starring Morgan Freeman? This is pretty much the only June movie I really, really, really want to see!


P.S. My review of Indiana Jones and the Hotness of Shia just might be the only review of Indiana Jones ever in the history of the world that doesn't even mention Harrison Ford.