Speed Racer + mini reviews

Speed Racer - Based soley on the cast (Emile Hirsch! Christina Ricci! Susan Sarandon! John Goodman!), I thought this movie might be pretty damn good. I had my reservations, of course. A PG racing flick might be a little too kiddie - it doesn't matter who is involved. However, it is from the Wachowski brothers (The Matrix series) so I thought, if nothing else, it will look pretty spectacular. And it does look spectacular, in a sort of hyper colorful cotton candy way that is cool for about ten minutes before it makes you feel so dizzy that you feel it might make you sick. The plot itself goes from serious to over the top to campy to ridiculous without any rhyme or reason. Emile Hirsch (who I love so much) does a decent job at trying to make his cartoon character (in every sense of the word) into a real person the audience cares about. He never quite gets there but it's not entirely his fault. In fact, you can't really blame any of the actors. I guess it all looked good on paper and it's not their fault the directors turned it into a crazy, out of control, so bright it hurts your eyes carnival. Throw in an annoying little kid and a monkey and this movie is just a disaster. It really pains me to do this because I wanted to like it. For the sake of the actors (especially Emile who I have loved in everything he's ever done), I really wanted to like it. Alas, it's just too awful. It was the first movie in a long, long, long time that I wanted to walk out of.
Grade: F

Delirious - Ah, Michael Pitt. He of the gorgeous blue eyes and those lovely lips. I would watch anything with him in it based purely on very shallow reasons. Is he an exceptionally wonderful actor? I would say no although I did enjoy him in quite a few things. But maybe that's because he's gorgeous... Anyway, it helps that Delirious is actually a decent enough movie. Co-starring Steve Buscemi (!!) and Alison Lohman, it tells the story of a homeless wannabe actor (Pitt) who befriends a paparazzi (Buscemi) before falling in love with a Britney-esque pop-star (Lohman). It's a dark indie comedy that actually has a heart. The end actually almost melted my little black heart a little bit.
Grade: B


One Missed Call - One Missed Call is this intelligent socioeconomic think piece about the way instant technology is slowly destroying our communications skills with each other on a purely humane level. Or... it's just a really shitty horror movie starring some pretty people and some annoying people. Shannyn Sossamon (what were you thinking?!??!!) stars as a young co-ed who has to battle the evil spirits who travel from cell phone to cell phone. If they call your cell phone... then you die! Can you say scary? No, you can't. Because it's not. At all. Not even a little bit.
Grade: D-


What Happens in Vegas - Pretty people (Ashton Kutcher, Cameron Diaz) meet cute in Las Vegas. They get drunk. They get married. Upon realizing their mistake, they decide to part (not so) amicably. Then, surprise! They win $3 million and are sentenced to do 6 months married time (I think I'd rather go to prison) before the judge (Dennis Miller) unfreezes the fortune. Can you imagine what happens next? If you guessed "they really fall in love" then you hit the bullseye! Congratulations for being such a forward thinker. It's lame and cliche. It's been done a million times before. Kutcher and Diaz are both exceedingly charming on their own but they have absolutely no chemistry whatsoever together.
Grade: D+

Young @ Heart - Young @ Heart is cute enough. It's also at times hilarious and heartbreaking. But, is cute and heartbreaking enough? Not exactly. The documentary follows the lives of about 25 senior citizens in a Massachusetts choir who cover songs like "Golden Age," "Nothing Compares 2 U," and "Schitzophrenia." (No, seriously). These songs by Bowie and the Talking Heads and the Ramones never had their lyrics mean quite the same thing as they do when they are being sung by a group of people in their 70s and 80s. There are moments when you'll laugh so hard you'll cry. And there will be other moments when you will be moved to tears for other reasons. Still, Young @ Heart at times doesn't feel like it delves deep enough. I wanted more. I wanted something else from the experience. Ultimately, it feels like something you could catch on a one hour television special and not like a full feature documentary.
Grade: C+

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford - My Lord, what cinematography! The film is shot beautifully. It's a breathtaking film to watch with performances that are really top notch. I can take or leave Brad Pitt but he did a good enough job as the outlaw Jesse James. Sam Rockwell, I thought, was excellent in his supporting role, especially in his last few scenes on screen. But the star of the show is really Casey Affleck as Robert Ford. Surprise, surprise! He is the star of this movie, not a supporting actor (Sorry to burst the Academy's bubble). Jesse James dies and guess what? The story continues! Because it's not about Jesse James. It's about Robert Ford. (Spoiler...) When Robert Ford dies, guess what? The story ends! Affleck definitely deserved his Oscar nomination. He's just riveting to watch, creating such a perfectly creepy yet naively innocent character. The movie itself is fantastic. I could have done without the narration which was more distracting than anything else but ultimately I felt the movie was pretty damn great.
Grade: A-

Lust, Caution - Ang Lee's NC-17 story about war, deception and crazy sex, Lust, Caution is slow burning and completely absorbing. It follows a group of drama students who decide to take their act into the real world, portraying make believe people in an effort to get close to a man they feel is helping the war effort. Tang Wei plays a woman, once shy and naive, who gets a little too close to said man. The results are intense. It's a riveting film totally worth checking out.
Grade: B+

Iron Man + mini reviews

Iron Man - First, let me say this: Robert Downey Jr. is so perfect for the role of Tony Stark that I really can't imagine anyone else even being considered for the role. This is the role he was born to play. He brings the perfect amounts of charming gentleman, cocky cad and comic timing. It doesn't hurt that mostly everything else about Iron Man is pretty damn good as well. I won't say it's great. But I will say that it is fun! This year has been a wash for movies so far (I mean, if I was going to make a top 10 list now - which I usually do - I wouldn't even be able to muster up 10 movies I really liked. I don't even think I could muster 5) but at least Iron Man starts the summer movie season off on the right foot. Iron Man is just about everything it should be: it's entertaining, it's fast paced, it's got great action sequences. It has comedy, it has the obligatory will-they-or-won't-they love story between Downey's Stark and Gwyneth Paltrow's Pepper Potts (she's really solid as well... plus, she looks great with red hair). It's got a good villain, good music, great gadgets. It's really just the kind of movie you hope it will be. There's really not much to complain about on the Iron Man front (although... and maybe I'm just being picky... but the final act turns a little too "Let's just blow shit up" for me). As for staying until after the credits? I would only recommend it if you are a huge comic book geek. I was told (quite excitedly) to stay until after the credits (quote "best extra scene EVER") and I was a little disappointed because I don't really care about the comic book universe. Still, I'll just think of the pre-credit perfection of an ending and I will remain satisfied completely with Iron Man.
Grade: B



Also, I've seen a lot of other films in my self-imposed exile from reviewing. Here are a few mini reviews...


Forgetting Sarah Marshall - On the Judd Apatow scale of major release hilarity this one falls somewhere between Superbad (my very favorite) and The 40 Year Old Virgin. It's true. I haven't laughed this hard since Superbad. Especially at the exceptionally hilarious Dracula: The Musical scenes (actually, I don't think I ever laughed so hard). Overall, Sarah Marshall is a really solid, funny, surprisingly heartfelt comedy. I couldn't exactly click with the female characters (these Judd Apatow boys can write crude comedy but they can't write a solid female character to save their lives) which was pretty much the only major problem I had. Except for the utter wastefulness of Paul Rudd. Still, this movie is worth seeing, for sure.
Grade: B-


Smart People - Great cast. Still, something never quite works here. It's not a bad movie but it's not necessarily a great movie either. It feels like a retread of about a dozen better movies. Ellen Page is fantastic but it really just makes me want to netflix Wonder Boys.
Grade: C


Deception - File this one under "Missed Opportunity." When you've got such a great cast to work with - Ewan McGregor, Hugh Jackman, Michelle Williams - you think a solid movie is in the bag. But, not so much. In fact, the glamour and the glitz is all just so fake looking. For a movie about an underground sex society, there is nothing remotely sexy about the movie. It's all a little silly and just plain bad.
Grade: D+


Lars and the Real Girl - Ryan Gosling is great. Emily Mortimer is even better. Still, for a "unique" indie comedy, I felt this was just about as cliched as possible. And who would think you would be able to use the word "cliche" for a movie about a man in love with a blow up sex doll? Predictible is another word that comes to mind. And that's a shame. Great idea. Great performances. Solid execution. It just all comes apart in the last act or so.
Grade: C+


Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - Well, someone totally ruined the ending for me but I still mostly enjoyed this dark and twisted musical from the wonderfully creative Tim Burton. Johnny Depp is just plain out fantastic. Ditto for Helena Bonham Carter. Still, I love Alan Rickman the most. I could have done without the story line about his daughter. I know it's necessary to the plot but it bored the hell out of me.
Grade: B


The Savages - Who was the MVP of 2007? Philip Seymour Hoffman! He's phenemonal in this indie comedy. Still, it's Laura Linney who got the Oscar nomination, and rightfully so. She's hilarious and completely relatable as well. This is a really solid, well-done black comedy. What a great screenplay and even better performances.
Grade: B


The Orphanage - Yawn.
Grade: D+ (maybe I should take away the "+." I only put it there because I liked the ending.)


Before the Devil Knows You're Dead - Again with the Philip Seymour Hoffman! He's amazing in this movie. I gave him such a hard time about his Oscar nomination for Charlie Wilson's War and I still believe he outright stole it from Paul Dano. Still, he should have been nominated. He just got it for the wrong movie. His performance here is definitely Oscar worthy. He's slick and cocky and manipulative and just plain great. Ethan Hawke plays his brother and does a pretty good job as well (although he's not nearly the actor Hoffman is). Sidney Lumet was something like 113 years old when he directed this movie (okay, he was 80 something) but he does such a spectacular job. The movie is an intense, satisfying thriller. It's also one of the best of last year. Wish I would have seen it earlier because it definitely would have made my top 10 list.
Grade: A-


He Was a Quiet Man - An interesting film, for sure. There are quite a few creative decisions that I liked very much. There are also some truly excellent parts. Overall, however, it doesn't really add up to a particularly good movie. The ending is great but, other than that, it's merely average. Elisha Cuthbert is terribly miscast. I would have liked to see someone else in her role. Maybe Christina Ricci or Thora Birch (what has she been up to lately?). Christian Slater, however, is a revelation in his performance. He hasn't been this good and this electrifying in a movie since, I don't know, Heathers, maybe.
Grade: C+