June 2015

Mortdecai
Stars - Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ewan McGregor, Olivia Munn
Plot - A zany art thief tries to find a stolen rare piece of art.
Thoughts - This movie is legit terrible and it's not just because I am one of the few people who can't stand Johnny Depp (I think he is just a cartoon character at this point). Even McGregor, who I think is the most underrated actor alive, and who is sort of good here, can't save this disaster.
Grade - D

The Last Five Years
Stars - Anna Kendrick
Plot - A relationship runs it's course, forwards and backwards through song.
Thoughts - First things first, Kendrick is great. Big surprise!  But, for me, the movie really oscillates between being good and boring, between having catchy, good songs and forgettable ones.
Grade - C+

Entourage
Stars - Kevin Connolly, Jeremy Piven
Plot - Vince directs his first movie, the gang continue to degrade women.
Thoughts - I mean, if you liked the TV show, which I did in spurts, then you will likely enjoy the movie. Still, Piven's Ari Gold is one of TV'S finest performances and characters so it's nice to see him again.
Grade - C+

Hot Tub Time Machine 2
Stars - Adam Scott, Clark Duke
Plot - The gang must travel back in time to find out who kills one of them.
Thoughts - If the first movie was fun in a stupid kind of way, then the sequel is a complete and utter waste of time and talent. The only good news I have about this movie is that Christian Slater (who, for some reason, has a cameo) has aged rather nicely.
Grade - F

The Boy Next Door
Stars - Jennifer Lopez, Ryan Guzman
Plot - A teacher and mother has a steamy tryst with her new neighbor, who is a student, and so hot that you automatically forget how inappropriate relationship is. Also, he's a psychopath.
Thoughts - I was hoping this would be campy and fun, like that Obsessed movie starring Beyonce from a few years back. I was wrong. Ryan Guzman, though.
Grades - D

Lost River
Stars - Christina Hendricks, Ben Mendelsohn
Plot - I honestly have no idea.
Thoughts - Ryan Gosling's directorial debut is seriously weird and crazy, like a David Lynch movie, or a less trashy Harmonie Korine movie. I almost never understood what was going on. Still, Gosling has got a great eye, and the movie was beautiful to look at. It's a shame he couldn't make a better movie. Maybe next time.
Grade - D+

Dope
Plot - A high school nerd and his friends get caught up in a drug deal.
Thoughts - So great and funny and charming and endearing and smart. It's a shame they didn't edit some of the long winded, silly third act because this could have been a truly great movie instead of a really good one.
Grade - B+

Project Almanac
Plot - Some nerdy friends invent time travel, decide to use it to go to Lollapalooza.
Thoughts - This movie is actually pretty fun for the most part, and the young cast all have an easy chemistry. Still, I think it's best if you don't think too much about a movie like this because now I have A LOT of questions!
Grade - C+

Iron Man 3

Word on the street (and, by street, I mean Entertainment Weekly) is Robert Downey Jr. might not be back for any future Iron Man endeavors, and that is definitely a shame if it turns out to be true. When these moveis lean toward the mediocre, Downey Jr. is the one who saves them from themselves. It's hard to believe anyone will be able to fill his shoes and fill the character with the perfect mixture of charm, wit, humor and cockiness. Downey Jr. is perfect for Tony Stark / Iron Man, the way Harrison Ford was perfect for Indiana Jones and Heath Ledger was perfect for the Joker.

My feelings about Iron Man 3 are so mixed that I barely even know where to start. Director Shane Black takes over for Jon Favereau here and I think that was a good thing. He injected a much needed dose of adrenaline into the series. However, at times, it's maybe a bit too hectic. I think Black had a lot of great ideas, and maybe he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to do this again, so instead of streamlining all of his ideas, he more or less decided to put every single one of them into this movie. Iron Man 3 takes place after series of events that took place in The Avengers (and the characters talk about those events A LOT... too much) and it finds Stark suffering from anxiety after his near death and unable to sleep. Instead, he's been tinkering with a new suit that comes to him and forms onto his body when he beckons. Soon, he has a whole lot to worry about other than his insomnia. A mysterious terrorist calling himself The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley, having an absolute ball) begins making serious threats against the president. Plus, a swarmy scientist (Guy Pearce) is making a play for Stark's lady Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow).

That's about as much plot as I'm willing to get into. The plot is long and confusing and I seriously have no idea how any of the ten or twelve small children who were in the same theater as me had any idea what was going on at any point. Although I guess it doesn't matter. The plots of these movies take a major backseat to the special effects and the action sequence. And while it takes a good 45 minutes to get to any action sequences, each one is bigger and crazier than the one before it, until we get to that final chaotic scene which is so over the top it's almost ridiculous (okay, it's totally ridiculous and I have yet to decide if that's good or not). So, the plot is long and meandering. It takes us back to the 1999 and Stark's encounter with a brilliant botanist (Rebecca Hall) and it takes us to the middle of nowhere, Tennessee, where Stark forms a sweet but completely unnecessary bond with a small fatherless boy. It takes us from houses being destroyed to over the top battles on deserted boats. All the while there are three things that are holding this whole crazy ship together.

Okay, maybe four, if you count Gwyneth Paltrow's abs which are seriously RIDICULOUS. I have literally not been able to think about anything else in the last three days. Those abs are definitely getting me through my latest attempt at planks. But I digress.

Robert Downey Jr. is the shining star here, as he almost always is. He brings so much to the role of Tony Stark that, like I said, it's impossible to picture anyone else in the role. He sort of phoned it in during that last Iron Man movie (or perhaps that script was just such a mess that he didn't know what else to do), but he's definitely back in top form here. The second this is the direction by Shane Black which, while a bit crazy at times, is also refreshing. You can tell he's having the time of his life, that he feels the unadulterated joy of making a movie like this and that sort of energy is seriously contagious. The final is Kingsley, who steals all of his scenes as the Mandarin. Without ruining anything or saying too much, there is a plot twist involving his character which I vehemently hated and nearly ruined the movie for me, but Kingsley at least plays it well. He plays it better than any other actor could. He goes for it, completely and totally, the way very few actors could, and possibly no one else could pull off.

These few saving graces bring Iron Man 3 to a place just above mediocrity. It's definitely no where near as good as the first, but it is better than the second. If it's the end of the Robert Downey Jr. Iron Man age, I think he deserved a little bit better.

Grade: C+

Quickies: Contagion, Drive and more!

Win Win - Indie darlings Paul Giamatti and Amy Ryan star as a Midwestern couple who all but adopt a young wrestling prodigy in this charming little film. Giamatti and Ryan are both fantastic in their roles, especially Giamatti who doesn't play necessarily the most likable person in the world. Bobby Cannavale manages to steal every scene he's in, of course. I was expecting just your average indie quirky film but it had a lot more depth and heart that I was expecting. It's definitely worth checking out.
Grade: B-

Contagion - If you think this is just going to be another boring disaster type flick about an epic disease spreading through the world is wrong. This isn't Outbreak. This a great film from director Steven Soderbergh with, probably, the most perfect cast of the year: Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, John Hawkes, Marion Cotillard, Bryan Cranston, Laurence Fishburn. Paltrow goes oversees on a business trip and manages to become infected. When she returns home, she begins to pass the virus to everyone around her. And so it begins. Watch as husbands mourn their cheating dead spouses and struggle to keep their daughter disease free, doctors try to find a cure and trace the beginning, and sleazy journalists try to profit from the whole thing. A great thrilling interesting timely film.
Grade: B

Paul / Your Highness - I could pretty much say the same thing about both of these movies: so much wasted talented!!! Paul is about a couple of nerds leaving Comic Con who discover a real alien and run from the FBI. The wasted comedic talent includes, but is not limited to: Simon Pegg, Kristen Wiig, Jason Bateman, Bill Hader, Jane Lynch and my beloved Landry from Fright Night Lights (a.k.a. Jesse Plemmons). Your Highness is an epic about a stoner knight who goes on a quest with his handsome brother to save his virgin bride from an evil wizard. Not only is it directed by David Gordon Green, the genius who directed All the Real Girls and George Washington, but also it wastes the considerable talents of Natalie Portman, James Franco, Zooey Deschanel and Justin Theroux (and the somewhat lesser talents of Danny McBride). Neither film is funny at all. Both are a huge waste of time and will probably end up on my Worst of the Year list.
Grade: F for both

Drive - This movie has a massive amount of swagger and style from the very first second of the film. You are immediately engrossed in this beautifully filmed story about a stunt car driver for films who finds himself caught up in a crazy world of driving criminals from whatever place they happen to be robbing. And, boy, can he drive. He being Ryan Gosling, who mesmerizes and smolders his way through this film. He's fantastic. As is the supporting cast of Carey Mulligan (who is pretty much Michelle Williams, version 2.0 and that is NOT a bad thing), Bryan Cranston (again!), Ron Perlman and SCENE STEALER EXTRAORDINAIRE Albert Brooks. Seriously, Brooks is sooo damn good, I can't imagine him not being nominated for an Oscar at this point. This movie is simply beautiful, one of the best of the year. It's silent and intense and a great slow burn thriller that goes from zero to extreme violence in the blink of an eye. This movie should not be missed!
Grade: B+

Iron Man + mini reviews

Iron Man - First, let me say this: Robert Downey Jr. is so perfect for the role of Tony Stark that I really can't imagine anyone else even being considered for the role. This is the role he was born to play. He brings the perfect amounts of charming gentleman, cocky cad and comic timing. It doesn't hurt that mostly everything else about Iron Man is pretty damn good as well. I won't say it's great. But I will say that it is fun! This year has been a wash for movies so far (I mean, if I was going to make a top 10 list now - which I usually do - I wouldn't even be able to muster up 10 movies I really liked. I don't even think I could muster 5) but at least Iron Man starts the summer movie season off on the right foot. Iron Man is just about everything it should be: it's entertaining, it's fast paced, it's got great action sequences. It has comedy, it has the obligatory will-they-or-won't-they love story between Downey's Stark and Gwyneth Paltrow's Pepper Potts (she's really solid as well... plus, she looks great with red hair). It's got a good villain, good music, great gadgets. It's really just the kind of movie you hope it will be. There's really not much to complain about on the Iron Man front (although... and maybe I'm just being picky... but the final act turns a little too "Let's just blow shit up" for me). As for staying until after the credits? I would only recommend it if you are a huge comic book geek. I was told (quite excitedly) to stay until after the credits (quote "best extra scene EVER") and I was a little disappointed because I don't really care about the comic book universe. Still, I'll just think of the pre-credit perfection of an ending and I will remain satisfied completely with Iron Man.
Grade: B



Also, I've seen a lot of other films in my self-imposed exile from reviewing. Here are a few mini reviews...


Forgetting Sarah Marshall - On the Judd Apatow scale of major release hilarity this one falls somewhere between Superbad (my very favorite) and The 40 Year Old Virgin. It's true. I haven't laughed this hard since Superbad. Especially at the exceptionally hilarious Dracula: The Musical scenes (actually, I don't think I ever laughed so hard). Overall, Sarah Marshall is a really solid, funny, surprisingly heartfelt comedy. I couldn't exactly click with the female characters (these Judd Apatow boys can write crude comedy but they can't write a solid female character to save their lives) which was pretty much the only major problem I had. Except for the utter wastefulness of Paul Rudd. Still, this movie is worth seeing, for sure.
Grade: B-


Smart People - Great cast. Still, something never quite works here. It's not a bad movie but it's not necessarily a great movie either. It feels like a retread of about a dozen better movies. Ellen Page is fantastic but it really just makes me want to netflix Wonder Boys.
Grade: C


Deception - File this one under "Missed Opportunity." When you've got such a great cast to work with - Ewan McGregor, Hugh Jackman, Michelle Williams - you think a solid movie is in the bag. But, not so much. In fact, the glamour and the glitz is all just so fake looking. For a movie about an underground sex society, there is nothing remotely sexy about the movie. It's all a little silly and just plain bad.
Grade: D+


Lars and the Real Girl - Ryan Gosling is great. Emily Mortimer is even better. Still, for a "unique" indie comedy, I felt this was just about as cliched as possible. And who would think you would be able to use the word "cliche" for a movie about a man in love with a blow up sex doll? Predictible is another word that comes to mind. And that's a shame. Great idea. Great performances. Solid execution. It just all comes apart in the last act or so.
Grade: C+


Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - Well, someone totally ruined the ending for me but I still mostly enjoyed this dark and twisted musical from the wonderfully creative Tim Burton. Johnny Depp is just plain out fantastic. Ditto for Helena Bonham Carter. Still, I love Alan Rickman the most. I could have done without the story line about his daughter. I know it's necessary to the plot but it bored the hell out of me.
Grade: B


The Savages - Who was the MVP of 2007? Philip Seymour Hoffman! He's phenemonal in this indie comedy. Still, it's Laura Linney who got the Oscar nomination, and rightfully so. She's hilarious and completely relatable as well. This is a really solid, well-done black comedy. What a great screenplay and even better performances.
Grade: B


The Orphanage - Yawn.
Grade: D+ (maybe I should take away the "+." I only put it there because I liked the ending.)


Before the Devil Knows You're Dead - Again with the Philip Seymour Hoffman! He's amazing in this movie. I gave him such a hard time about his Oscar nomination for Charlie Wilson's War and I still believe he outright stole it from Paul Dano. Still, he should have been nominated. He just got it for the wrong movie. His performance here is definitely Oscar worthy. He's slick and cocky and manipulative and just plain great. Ethan Hawke plays his brother and does a pretty good job as well (although he's not nearly the actor Hoffman is). Sidney Lumet was something like 113 years old when he directed this movie (okay, he was 80 something) but he does such a spectacular job. The movie is an intense, satisfying thriller. It's also one of the best of last year. Wish I would have seen it earlier because it definitely would have made my top 10 list.
Grade: A-


He Was a Quiet Man - An interesting film, for sure. There are quite a few creative decisions that I liked very much. There are also some truly excellent parts. Overall, however, it doesn't really add up to a particularly good movie. The ending is great but, other than that, it's merely average. Elisha Cuthbert is terribly miscast. I would have liked to see someone else in her role. Maybe Christina Ricci or Thora Birch (what has she been up to lately?). Christian Slater, however, is a revelation in his performance. He hasn't been this good and this electrifying in a movie since, I don't know, Heathers, maybe.
Grade: C+