The Wolf of Wall Street

Were you ever at a party or a bar or where you were sober or mostly sober? The people around you are drunk as hell and they are super fun and amusing. At least for a little while. Perhaps for the first two and a half hours, or so. Then you just want to get the hell out of there as quick as you can because amusing drunks turn to sloppy and annoying drunks real quick. If I had one criticism of Martin Scorsese's The Wolf of Wall Street, it would be that. It's perhaps a bit too long. We could have done with one less scene of debauchery. There are two scenes in particular that could have been cut completely, or at the very least trimmed. I did read an article online that tried to make the argument that the three hour running time further illustrates the point of the movie, which is all about excess. That's an interesting theory, but I still think the movie would have been a tad better if it was cut down just a tad.

That being said, The Wolf of Wall Street is a goddamn great film. It's not about wolves, or even Wall Street really. This movie is about drugs. Or more particularly, addiction - addiction to drugs, addiction to sex, but mostly addiction to money. Leonardo DiCaprio plays Jordan Belfort and when we meet him he's young and impressionable, fresh faced and eager to please. At lunch with his very first boss and mentor (Matthew McConaughey, in the movie for only about twenty minutes, but I'll be damned if he doesn't steal every one of those twenty minutes), he refuses to drink alcohol, wonders how his boss can snort coke at lunch and then go right back to work. Flash forward a few years, and Jordan is running his own firm, doing a lot of shady, questionably moral / legal dealings and getting ridiculously, crazy, stupid rich. Like, so rich that he at one point wads up a hundred dollar bill and throws it in the garbage. He has so much money he doesn't know what to do with it all. So he gets himself a trophy wife. And a fancy mansion. And a lot of cars. And a yacht. And a helicopter. And a pretty outrageous drug habit (he claims he does so many drugs in one day that he could treat all of Manhattan for a month). The parties and the brazen disregard for any sort of normal life is all so outrageous that you wouldn't even believe it... if it weren't all absolutely true. And it is. Every thing that happens in this movie is true, which makes it all the more crazy. Eventually, Jordan gets what's coming to him, but not before he sleeps with tons of hookers, throws a midget at a human sized dart board, takes an orgy filled trip to Vegas and manages to sink a boat off the coast of Italy. This movie is wild!

With the exception of The Departed, Leonardo DiCaprio has never, never been better. I read an article where the author suggested its because he isn't needy, and has no desire to have the audience like his character. Maybe this is true. I think it's because he's never been so free. When was the last time DiCaprio looked like he's having fun in a movie? He is completely uninhabited, going places he has never gone before. He dances (and the ten or fifteen seconds where he dances at his wedding are, I think, the best goddamn ten seconds in all of film in the entire year)! He does physical comedy! He struts around and preens like the cock of the walk! He is having the time of his life playing this despicable douchebag and he's so unbelievably charming that you almost want Jordan to get away with all the terrible things he's done. Almost. DiCaprio isn't the only stand out. Jonah Hill is pretty superb as well, as Jordan's right hand man, a wasp-y weirdo who is perhaps a bit wilder even than Jordan. He absolutely nails the role. He's also never been better. Other stand outs include Margot Robbie as Jordan's volatile trophy wife, Jean DuJardin as a slick Swiss banker and Kyle Chandler as a straight arrow FBI agent. This is a cast of hundreds, and everyone nails it.

Now let's talk Martin Scorsese, because dude is 71 years old. He's already made his masterpieces. I wouldn't blame him one bit if he retired and spent five days a week golfing. But somehow he's making movies like he still has something to prove. He's making movies like a 28 year old fresh out of film school. He's making movies with more balls than kids half his age, or a third of his age. This movie has so much energy, is such a non-stop party that it's almost hard to believe it was directed by someone who is in his seventies. But Scorsese, more or less, showed absolutely everyone else who was boss with this movie. No one else is even close to him in terms of directing this year. There's him, and then everyone else. He is such a master of his craft that he manages to not let this movie go too far. Last week, I talked about David O. Russell ripping off Goodfellas, but letting the movie go too over the top. There was a big chance with that happening with The Wolf of Wall Street, but it never crosses that line. Scorsese keeps it in check, and keeps things from going into that campy zone.

I know I just spent three paragraphs praising the hell out of The Wolf of Wall Street, but keep in mind, it's not for everyone. Four people walked out of the theater that I was in, even before the halfway mark. This movie is absolutely brazen and wild and out of control. Jonah Hill masterbates! All the orgies! Leonardo DiCaprio snorts coke off a hookers ass, and later, Margot Robbie's tits! Speaking of, so. much. nudity. All the nudity. Plus, they say variations of f**k something like 560 times, according to IMDB (I don't know whose job it is to count). So, The Wolf of Wall Street may not be your cut of tea, but if you can take the craziness, it's definitely one of the best, most outrageous, ballsiest movies of the year.

Grade: A-

Worst Films of 2013

Instead of a Friday Top Five, how about a top ten? As in, the ten worst films I've seen this year.

10. Spring Breakers - This has been popping up on people's Best of the Year lists, and I have to admit that I don't understand why. Sure, I get it. Hot girls in bikinis, video game violence, absurdest humor, James Franco playing a rapper / singing Britney Spears songs. It sounds like it should be some sort of cult masterpiece. However, in my opinion, it just tries way too hard. These Disney girls (Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez) are trying to convince us that they are breaking from their good girl images, trying to be bad girls. But they are so obviously just pretending and absolutely nothing that happens in this movie is realistic in any remote way.

09. Kick Ass 2 - Where the original Kick Ass did everything right, this unnecessary sequel does everything wrong. The first film was memorable because it was charming and witty and fun, three things that this sequel most certainly is not. Hit Girl isn't really effective anymore. Sure, she was adorable as a potty mouthed little kid kicking ass. Now she's just another angst-filled teenage girl. It's simply an embarrassment to the first film. It's better to pretend it never happened at all.

08. Gangster Squad - Here's the only way I can explain how this movie got this crazy gifted cast: Sean Penn reads the first few pages of the script where he sees he's going to play an old school bad ass gangster and agrees. Then Josh Brolin thinks, "Well, if Sean Penn is going it." And Ryan Gosling thinks, "If Sean Penn and Josh Brolin are doing it." And Emma Stone thinks, "Well, if Sean..." You get my drift. I couldn't possibly imagine how a movie with such a stellar cast could be so bad, but somehow it is. Somehow it's so much worse than you can even imagine.

07. Man of Steel - I just about hated everything about this movie (save for Amy Adams), which doesn't even matter because it made all of the money. It's just that there are no characters that you care about. There's no humanity. This movie doesn't even have a sense of humor. One character cracks one joke at the end of the film and it feels so out of place that it's eye-roll inducing. If the great Michael Shannon can't even save things as an over the top super villain, then what chance do we really have?

06. Only God Forgives - The most disappointing movie of the year, in the sense that it sure as hell looks the nicest. It's got great cinematography and a great style. Too bad the movie consists mostly of people sitting in chairs, looking moody and Kristen Scott Thomas having absolutely horrid dinner conversation with his son's hooker girlfriend. Everyone keeps saying how great of a year 2013 was for movies. And I totally disagree. When Ryan Gosling is in two of the ten worst, you know you've got a problem.

05. Mama - Honestly, this was one of the first movies I saw this year, and I am finding it really hard to remember much about it at this point. I do remember that I hated every second of it. That I wondered why Jessica Chastain (who has made flawless acting decisions since breaking out) would even get herself caught up in this mess. And I also remember that the end was so ridiculous that I almost walked out of the theater.

04. Movie 43 - I'm assuming this movie was made for people with the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy because they are the only people I can think of who would find these jokes funny. Yes, menstruation is HILARIOUS. Somehow, the makers of this film (a collection of short films, each grosser than the one before it) managed to get the likes of Kate Winslet, Halle Berry, Emma Stone, Greg Kinnear, Dennis Quad, Hugh Jackman, etc. to sign up for this movie. It's all a great big waste of talent and time.

03. The Last Exorcism Part II - I actually really liked the first one, which was clever and interesting. The sequel is just a paint by number horror movie that is silly and not scary. I like to pretend it never happened, so we'll just move on, okay?

02. Magic, Magic - I rented this for Juno Temple, who I adore. I think she is a super talented actress and I'm always excited when I find out she is starring in a movie. It also features Michael Cera (who gives the single most terrible performance of the entire year) and Emily Browning. It's supposed to be about some sort of mystical and ancient discoveries. It's really just a bunch of young actors sitting around and talking about nonsense, and acting weird for two hours. I kept waiting for something to happen. Nothing ever does.

01. The Lords of Salem - Aren't directors supposed to get better with time? Because Rob Zombie is getting worse with every movie he makes. There was a time (back in his House of 1000 Corpses / The Devil's Rejects) days when I trusted him to make great horror movies. Then he churned out two horrible Halloween remakes. Then he made this, which is, honestly, the worst movie I have ever seen in my ENTIRE LIFE. And I've seen a lot of movies. It stars Sherri Moon (surprise!) and it takes place in Salem, Mass. You're thinking witch trials, right? You're thinking Sherri Moon traipsing around in a sexy witch outfit casting spells on people? That would have been way better than what the movie actually is which is a trippy, Rosemary's Baby wannabe movie about a heavy metal band who turn the women of Salem into zombie-esque killers. Or something. Just know that it's bad. Real, real bad.

American Hustle & Saving Mr. Banks

American Hustle

I read an interesting story about director David O. Russell. It had to do with the fact that on this movie, American Hustle, he let his actors improv so much. The story has Christian Bale pointing out to his director that the way they just improvised an scene utterly changes the plot of the movie at a later point. To which, O. Russell supposedly replied (and this isn't a direct quote), "I don't care about plot. I care about characters." And perhaps that's really all you need to know about American Hustle, a movie that is so superficial, that cares so little about its plot, that it's utterly a disappointing mess instead of the masterpiece I was hoping for.

American Hustle is a fictionalized version of Abscam, in which the FBI enlisted real life criminals (con men) to help set up politicians in order to arrest the bigger fish. In O. Russell's story, Christian Bale and Amy Adams are the mid-level cons who go after mostly desperate men down on their times with a scheme in which the men give them a non-refundable $5000 deposit to take their money to some "connections" in London, who are supposedly going to turn their money in to $50,000. Of course, that never happens. All of this is going great until they try to con the wrong man, in this case, undercover FBI agent Richie (Bradley Cooper) who arrests them and then enlists their help. Their initial plan is to bring down a family man mayor (Jeremy Renner) who wants nothing more than to help build up the job market of his town - Atlantic City. This is all well and good, until Richie gets greedy and wants to go after even bigger fish. Then there's Jennifer Lawrence as Bale's unpredictable, unstable wife.

So, in a nutshell, that's the plot. The plot isn't so much bad, as it is too glossy for its own good. O. Russell is trying to make his version of Goodfellas, which there isn't anything wrong with. If you want to rip off a movie, you might as well rip off one of the masters at his best. But the problem is, the movie relies far too much on looking cool, with great actors playing outlandish against type characters, none of whom feel real in the least. For focusing so much on characters, these guys are more like caricatures. I'm not trying to say the movie is bad, because it isn't, necessarily. It's a good movie, it's just a disappointing one. I've been looking forward to this movie for months and it was such a let down for me.

The performances are (almost) all spectacular. In a movie starring Christian Bale, Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner, it's as much a shock to me as it might be to anyone else, but best in show goes to Bradley Cooper. His out of control, cocky, power hungry FBI agent is so wildly entertaining, that you can't keep your eyes off of him. Adams is fantastic as well, slipping in and out of different characters with such ease (and those low cut dresses!!! Girl looks gorgeous!). Renner is fine but his role is so limited that it barely matters. Bale is great, as usually, playing the second most outlandish characters, a role that could have easily slipped into over the top, craziness. But Bale is such a great actor that this never happens.

Now here is where my review will become very, VERY unpopular. I don't think Jennifer Lawrence is as good of an actress as everyone thinks she is. I don't think she's a bad actress, just not deserving of quite so much praise. Just think about this fact: Come March, she's going to be a three time Oscar nominee (with one win) in just four years. That's INSANE. Here are some people (off the top of my head) who have never even been nominated: Drew Barrymore, Scarlett Johansson, Kirsten Dunst, Donald Sutherland, Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Kevin Bacon! But that's besides the point. I think this movie just proves my point, because Lawrence isn't good in it. In fact, I think she's most of the reason why I didn't care for the movie. She, like Bale, is so over the top, that it's distracting. Unlike Bale, Lawrence doesn't quite have the chops to reel it in, keep it from going over that line into campiness. So, it just makes me want to roll my eyes anytime she's on screen, which takes me completely out of the movie, which is not something you want to happen.

It doesn't matter what I have to say anyway. This movie will keep getting nominated for all kinds of awards. Sure, the movie is greatly entertaining at times, but it's no Oscar worthy movie, in my opinion. Jennifer Lawrence will probably win a book end for last year's Oscar. This is a movie about conning people, after all, and maybe the best con of all is conning the audience that it's a better movie than it actually is.

Grade: B-

Saving Mr. Banks

Just a few words about Saving Mr. Banks - it's a nice movie. I don't watch enough nice movies, and that's sort of a shame. The story is about Mary Poppins author P.L. Travers (Emma Thompson, killing it!) who very reluctantly flies to Los Angeles to meet with Walt Disney (Tom Hanks) about selling him the rights to her books. However, she is VERY opinionated. Anyway, the scenes with Hanks and Thompson are absolutely wonderful. The movie suffers from pacing problems - too many flashbacks, not evenly dispersed. It also suffers from the fact that the flashbacks are sort of on the boring side. I mean, they serve a purpose, to further the story along, but they also are not nearly as entertaining as watching Hanks and Thompson go toe to toe. I could watch that forever.

Grade: B

Just For Fun

As you probably have guessed by now, I'm sort of a nerd. I like to make lists and notes pertaining to all kinds of things, most of all movies. So, before I start finalizing my best and worst lists of 2013, here are a few things I took of note of this year. Keep in mind I haven't seen a number of films I'm still excited for (Wolf of Wall Street, American Hustle, Her). Let's think of this as early Christmas presents (and a few pieces of coal...)

MVP - Matthew McConaughey (Mud, Dallas Buyers Club, if he's half as entertaining as he looks in the Wolf of Wall Street trailer). A few years ago, McConaughey wasn't much more than a shirtless punchline. Now he's one of our most exciting actors.

Best Ensemble - Disconnect
Runner Up - 12 Years a Slave

Best Limited Role - James Badge Dale in World War Z
Runner Up - Adam Driver in Frances Ha

Best Movie Poster - Gravity
Runner Up - Oldboy

Best Trailer - Wolf of Wall Street

Best Kiss - Miles Teller and Shailene Woodley's first kiss in The Spectacular Now

Best Chemistry - Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke in Before Midnight

Best Dance Sequence - Greta Gerwig dances through the streets of NYC to Modern Love by David Bowie in Frances Ha

Best Fight - Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke's epic verbal showdown in Before Midnight

Best Image - Zombies climbing on top of one another in World War Z

Best Opening Shot - Single shot with no cuts (first twenty minutes) in Gravity
Runner Up - Tracking shot of Ryan Gosling on a motorbike in The Place Beyond the Pines

Best Opening Credits - The To-Do List's super 90's credits

Best Ending - You're Next

Best Action Sequence - Dwarfs in wine barrels float down a river while they (and two badass elves) fight some super creepy Orcs in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Runner Up - The plane crash scene in World War Z

Best CGI - Smaug in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Best Costumes - The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (specifically Katniss' wedding dress / mockingjay dress and Effie's butterfly dress)

Best Cinematography - Only God Forgives

Best Score - 12 Years a Slave

Breakthrough Performance Male - Tye Sheridan in Mud

Breakthrough Performances Female - Mickey Sumner in Frances Ha

Best Villain - Michael Fassbender in 12 Years a Slave
Runner Up - Sharlto Copley in Elysium

Best Hero - Evangeline Lilly in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Best Sexpot - Scarlett Johansson in Don Jon

Best Original Screenplay - Woody Allen for Blue Jasmine

Best Adapted Screenplay - Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke, Richard Linklater for Before Midnight (for some reason, in Hollywood, if a script is based on pre-existing characters then it's considered an adapted screenplay, which I find stupid, but they are richer than me so they must know best!)

Best Quote - Nun: "You're a journalist?" Martin: "Yes, well, I used to be." Philomena: "Martin is a Roman Catholic." Martin: "Yes, well, I used to be." From Philomena

Best Bad Movie - Only God Forgives
Runner Up - Plush

And finally, the piece of coal, this years award for Worst Performance of the Year - Michael Cera in Magic, Magic

Philomena

The story of Philomena is so unbelievable that if it weren't a true story, no one would believe it because it's just so outrageous and coincidental. It also errs on the side of melodrama, and if it weren't true, it would most certainly air on Lifetime and people would watch it and think, "wow, what imagination!"

But Philomena is the true story of an Irish woman (Judi Dench), who admits after 50 years that as a young teenager, she had gotten pregnant. Her widower father dropped her off at a convent where the nuns eventually delivered her baby, forced her into four years of more-or-less slavery and then sold her baby to an American couple while she was at choir practice. Fifty years later, she teams up with a disgraced British journalist (Steve Coogan) to find her son and find out the truth of what really happened all those years ago. And the trailer for this movie is quite misleading, because what follows are twists and turns and coincidences, some more crazy than others. And all of it is true.

On one hand, this movie is much more than I expected it to be. It's very subtle and actually quite funny. I was expecting some kind of snooze fest which would only appeal to a certain demographic (old, white, female), but that's definitely not the case. This is the sort of feel-good movie of the year in a lot of ways. Most of this is because of Dench, who is just extraordinary in every way as Philomena. She's adorable and lovable. You just want to hug her, and then when you leave the theater, you want to be a better person because of her. (Editors note: That doesn't last long, especially when you hit crazy holiday traffic on your way home!). Coogan isn't necessarily a great actor. There were two specific times watching the movie where I thought, "Hey, this guy is a lousy actor." However, he is mostly solid as the cocky journalist. But the thing that truly drives this film is the odd couple chemistry between the two actors. It is absolutely delightful to watch them banter back and forth and their performances, along with a great script (which Coogan also co-wrote) is definitely the highlight of the film.

So, on one hand you have this really interesting story (and it's all true!) that is compelling and fascinating. You've got really excellent performances (one of which will surely be Oscar nominated in the next few weeks). You've got this movie that manages to be feel-good while still also sort of breaking your heart. You've got a movie that expertly balances the tone, being laugh out loud funny one moment and serious the next. And then, on the other hand, you have a movie that still feels like a Lifetime movie. Watching a movie in a movie theater should never feel like it's something you can watch on your couch on a Saturday morning when it's snowing and too cold to leave your house. But that's what Philomena feels like at times, and that's not a feeling I could easily escape. I'm also not saying that's a bad thing. I love a Lifetime movie as much as the next person (and I won't admit to watching a delightful little holiday movie called The 12 Dates of Christmas starring Mark-Paul Gosslear on Lifetime not once, but twice this year). Still, as charming as this movie is 80% of the time, I just can't get past the extreme sentimentality of the other 20%. Philomena is a sweet old lady, but this movie is too-sweet at times and, at least for me, that's sort of a bad thing.

Grade: B

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Listen, I'm as surprised as you by what I'm about to say. Truth be told, I already had my review for this movie written in my head. It went something like, Perhaps these movies aren't for me. I must not be the target audience. You can have your Hobbit movies and I'll take my Batman movies and we'll let bygones be bygones. But, then I saw the movie. And I actually really liked The Desolation of Smaug.
The movie picks up exactly where the torturous Unexpected Journey left off. Our heroes - Bilbo, Gandalf and a myriad of assorted dwarfs - are on their journey to a mountain where one of the dwarfs, Thorin, must reclaim his rightful place as King. Along the way, obviously, they get into a lot of trouble and face a lot of adventure, as they often do. From the Orcs that have been chasing them from part one, to the archery wielding elves (more on them in a minute!), to the hottie on the river barge who helps smuggle them, to their final confrontation with Smaug, who happens to be a pretty bad ass talking dragon. Where the Unexpected Journey felt long and laborious, Desolation of Smaug feels swift and action packed. Gone are the 45 minute dinner party scenes (seriously, the first Hobbit movie made me irrationally angry for 3 hours and it all started with that scene) and in place of them are seriously bad ass fight scenes. The crowning jewel of action sequences in The Desolation of Smaug happens to be a particular fight scene in which the dwarfs are in barrels, rolling down a river while the nasty Orcs fight them from the shores and just when you think our heroes are doomed, those stuffy bad ass elves come and save the day with their bows and arrows.
Okay, sidebar: I love the elves. I seriously want to watch an entire trilogy about the elves because they are pretty bad ass. I mean, is this why people love Orlando Bloom, because I never quite understood it before, but I also have never seen the original Lord of the Rings trilogy. But if he's this bad ass in that trilogy, killing Orcs and taking names, with that beautiful, long, flowing hair, then I totally get it. But he's not even the coolest elf. That honor goes to Lost alum Evangeline Lilly who should be the biggest female action star on the planet right now. I guess they invented her character for the movie, and fan boys everywhere were horrified, but she's easily the coolest thing about the movie. She should get her own spin off, and also should be in every action movie in the world, and also, she's so beautiful it physically hurts. Did I mention she is super cool? End, sidebar.
Anyway, The Desolation of Smaug is not without its problems. Obviously, it's nearly three hours long which I think is sort of ridiculous. Every one of these movies is 3 hours long. If you wanted to watch the original trilogy and the Hobbit trilogy after it's complete, it would take you about 18 hours. That's ridiculous. However, Smaug doesn't really feel long until near the end. You know the end is coming but the movie just keeps going and going. It feels like it might never end. Also, I'm not a fan of this new filming technique Peter Jackson is using. I guess it's a higher frame per second but it mostly makes everything look so uber clear that it looks fake. It's very distracting. Sometimes, instead of noticing how awesome the filmmaking is, I would get caught up in how disconcerting the whole fakeness of the scenes look.
Still, The Desolation of Smaug is a damn enjoyable movie, filled with awesome action scenes, a truly great acting ensemble, and great CGI (Smaug may be a dragon, but he's more of a developed character than anyone in Man of Steel). It may not be perfect, but it is the super fun popcorn movie we were sorely missing from the summer blockbusters. It took me a while, but I'm finally on board with this whole Middle Earth thing.
Grade: B+

Friday Top Five: Christmas Movies

I figured I should post a Christmas movie list this week since I don't think I'll be able to post a Top Five next Friday. And then week after that, I plan on beginning to use this Friday Top Five spot as a place to count down my best and worst of 2013. So, for now, tis the season and all that. (Also: A disclaimer: My favorite Christmas movie of all time is a little movie you probably never saw called A Very Brady Christmas. I'm not even kidding. But there's no way it's one of the best Christmas movies out there, so I'm not including it. It's pretty terrible and cheesy, actually, but I still love it).

05. Miracle on 34th Street (George Seaton, 1947)
I know there are a few different versions of this movie, but I'm talking about the one with Maureen O'Hara and a young Natalie Wood. This movie takes place at Macy's in New York, where a new store Santa claims to be the real deal and even manages to convince a few cynical people, including young Susan. To say it's a holiday classic is sort of an understatement. Maybe I love this movie because of the clothes. Women were so dressed up just to go shopping - gloves, hats, dresses, heels! Last time I went shopping, I wore sweatpants. Or maybe it's just because this is a really sweet movie, that even the most cynical, Christmas hating person (I'll admit, sometimes that's me... after ten years of working retail, I still get anxious around Christmas) can love. It has a sweet message and also encapsulates that whole "magic of Christmas" sentiment that is now a staple in every holiday movie.

04. Elf (Jon Favreau, 2003)
What can go wrong with a sweet love story featuring a 6 foot tall Elf who wreaks havoc on New York City and falls in love with a sardonic store elf? Absolutely nothing! Elf is hilarious, sweet and just plain enjoyable. Starring Will Ferrell (who, as far as comedy goes, can do no wrong) and Zooey Deschannel, Elf is a damn modern classic. Plus, there's a great supporting cast including Bob Newhart, Mary Steenburgen and James Caan. While it is a Christmas movie, it's also just funny enough that you can honestly watch it any time you want to. Plus, try not to quote it. Anytime you see a mall Santa, try not saying, "I KNOW HIM!"

03. White Christmas (Michael Curtiz, 1954)
If you love musicals, then you'll love White Christmas! A song and dance duo (Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye) become involved with a singing sister duo as they join together to put on an all-singing-all-dancing-EXTRAVAGANZA to save the failing Vermont inn owned by their former Army general. Sure, the movie has a lot of plot that merely exists just to move characters along into whatever contrivance the screenwriters thought up. Sure, it's sort of cheesy and doesn't really have much depth. But, it's also a damn entertaining movie that is sweet and downright enjoyable. Also, this is the movie where Bing Crosby sings White Christmas and nails it, obviously.

02. It's a Wonderful Life (Frank Capra, 1946)
Probably the most depressing movie ever to become a heart-warming holiday classic, It's a Wonderful Life is still damn near perfect. Our main character is depressed and contemplating suicide. An angel shows him what life would be like had he never existed. Obviously, he has a change of heart and realizes how lucky he is and embraces his family and life. It's a Wonderful Life is sort of like a life-altering experience, that's how perfect and well done it is. Even if it's sort of depressing at times, it's a holiday masterpiece for a reason.

01. A Christmas Story (Bob Clark, 1983)
Perhaps it's not as meaningful as Miracle on 34th Street. I guess it's not as high brow as It's a Wonderful Life. I'm assuming it can't be considered a "masterpiece," but I will watch A Christmas Story for 24 hours straight without getting bored. I grew up with this movie, and have seen it more times than I can count, and I never get sick of it. I never not want to watch it at Christmas time. A Christmas Story is iconic, a modern day classic, with ridiculously quotable dialogue and hilarious performances, especially from Darren McGavin. A Christmas Story is wonderful in every sense of the word, and I still get giddy when it comes on TV.

Out of the Furnace

First things first: Scott Cooper directs the hell out of this movie. From the very first, perfectly framed shot (a fist fight that erupts at a drive in movie theater) through all the smoke stacks, right up until the second to the last shot (because that last shot... ugh! More on that later), this movie is directed so perfectly. Even if this movie turned out to be lousy, at least it would be pretty enough to be worth watching. Fortunately, it's not lousy. I wouldn't necessarily say its as great as I was hoping either, but it's far from lousy. It's yet another example this year of a movie that is sort of conventional but with great directing and acting, it appears far better than it really is. The best thing I can say about the film, script wise, is that it isn't predictable. I watch a lot of movies, and I feel like, most of the time, I know exactly what is going to happen the entire time before the movie even starts. That isn't the case with Out of the Furnace. There are quite a few instances where I thought I had things figured out, only to be surprised by what happens next. And, at the very, very least, that's something.
Out of the Furnace stars Christian Bale as Russell Baze, a good man who works at a mill in a small, Pennsylvania town. He has a pretty girlfriend (Zoe Saldana), a dying father, and a vet brother (Casey Affleck). Affleck's Rodney is the opposite of his brother. Sure, he's a good kid, too, but where Russell is all quiet and subdued, Rodney is a live-wire. He's tough and angry, ready to blow up at any second. Rodney finds himself mixed up with a redneck meth-head drug dealer (Woody Harrelson) and when he goes missing, Russell plans to track him down no matter what, and no matter who stands in his way.
At its worst, Out of the Furnace is a conventional, character piece, a movie that chooses character development over plot and story, and a movie with a snail's pace. At its best, however, it's a bleak, desolate tale of family love and hopelessness filmed so expertly that some of the shots literally take your breath away. It may be conventional, but it sure as hell is solid, as well. Part of that is due to Cooper, as I've already said, but a large part is due to the acting as well. Obviously, Christian Bale is one of our finest actors and he does so much with the quiet and controlled Russell. He may not have the showy scenes that his co-stars get, but he carries this movie with his eyes, and all the things he doesn't say. This movie, however, belongs to two absolutely monstrous supporting turns. Affleck, who I think is one of the most underrated actors out there, is absolutely superb, giving his best performance in, maybe, ever. There is one scene in particular, in which he finally explodes, that is brilliant, and left my heart pounding. But it's Harrelson that steals the show. His drug dealer, meth head is like a caged animal, pacing its cage, waiting to break free and kill its prey. Every moment he is on screen is electrifying. And where he has the ability to go over the top with this role, he never does. His best moment is one of his final moments, in which he finds out that Russell is Rodney's brother and gives a small smirk and nod of the head, like he knows exactly what is coming for him.
So, yes, Out of the Furnace is good, but it's not great. And I have decided to dock it an entire grade because of the terrible final shot of the film. Its a moment that pretty much makes no sense, and makes you question everything that has happened leading up to it. There are a lot of instances where the final shot almost ruins a movie for me. To this day, whenever I watch The Departed, I have to turn it off before that final heavy-handed shot with the rat. That movie is perfect save for that one moment. That's how I feel about Out of the Furnace, except the movie is far from perfect. It's definitely worth checking out at some point, but there's no rush. There will be plenty of other, better movies in the next few weeks.
Grade: B-

Friday Top Five: The Cast of Out of the Furnace

I'm going to do something a little different this week, and instead of focusing on one individual actor, I'm going to focus on the entire cast of Out of the Furnace, a movie that opens today that I am pretty excited about. It stars Christian Bale, Casey Affleck, and Woody Harrelson, to name a few, three actors whom I absolutely love. So, here are the best films starring this cast:

05. Gerry (Gus Van Sant, 2002)
All right, this movie is most definitely NOT for everyone. Considered part of Van Sant's "Death Trilogy" (along with two other movies that I love that aren't for everyone: Elephant and Last Days), the film follows to friends (Affleck and Matt Damon) who get lost in the desert and have no food or water. It's not really about anything and nothing ever really happens. There is barely any dialogue, but if you love filmmaking, existential journeys and great acting, than Gerry just might be for you.

04. Crazy Heart (Scott Cooper, 2009)
Scott Cooper isn't IN Out of the Furnace, but he did direct it, as his follow up to Crazy Heart, which stars Jeff Bridges as a washed up country star. When you watch Crazy Heart and see all the beautiful panoramic shots then you'll know instantly what Cooper is capable of. Not to mention, he pulls Oscar worthy performances from Bridges, and co-star Maggie Gyllenhaal. I'm excited to see what he's done with the incredible cast of Out of the Furnace.

03. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (Andrew Dominik, 2007)
This breathtakingly beautiful film stars two cast members from Out of the Furnace - Sam Shepard and Casey Affleck, who is absolutely riveting in this film. Yes, Brad Pitt stars as Jesse James, but this movie is about Robert Ford, and Affleck, who was nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, should have been recognized as the Lead. Sometimes people wonder why I love long movies, this one clocks in at nearly three hours, but when you are constantly engrossed with such beautiful imagery and amazing performances, how could you not love long movies?

02. Rampart (Oren Moverman, 2011)
Honestly? I think Woody Harrelson is unbelievably sexy. I also think he doesn't get enough credit for what a great actor he truly is. Maybe it's because he mixes things up and does a lot of comedy, starring in waste of time movies like that one where he was a surfer who smoked a lot of weed (also known as: his life, probably). But, when he does a dramatic role, he always nails it and Rampart is absolutely no exception. He stars as a dirty cop, who also happens to be about as disgusting a man as you can imagine. He's sexist, racist, homophobic, and just plain vile. The fact that Harrelson embodies this man with such ease says a lot for his formidable talents as an actor. I'm excited to see him play the bad guy in Out of the Furnace.

01. The Dark Knight (Christopher Nolan, 2008)
How could it be anything else? How can any list including Christian Bale not include this? I consider The Dark Knight to be the single greatest comic book / superhero movie of all time. There is none better. I'm not sure there ever will be. Sure, I've grown up loving Batman for as long as I can remember. But I'm not playing favorites here. Nolan's middle entry into his Batman trilogy is everything you can ever want from an action movie - destruction, chaos, brilliant set pieces, bank robberies, piles of cash, pretty girls, hundreds of mobsters, and a villain who gives such a staggering, anarchy filled performance so good that it breaks your heart to think Heath Ledger is gone for good. Bale plays a damn good Bruce Wayne, charming and cocky, and his Batman is genius as well (I can ignore THAT VOICE, unlike most of America). Bale is one of our best actors, and I'm excited to see what he'll bring to Out of the Furnace. Barring any sort of weekend disaster, I'll let you know how it all shakes out on Monday.

Oldboy, The Book Thief, Dallas Buyers Club

Oldboy

I will admit it: I was pretty excited for the remake of Oldboy. Typically, I don't think remakes are a good idea, but in this case, I did. First off, the remake was directed by Spike Lee, a divisive director but his best films are great films and I thought he was a good choice. Second of all, films with subtitles, no matter how good they are, will have trouble finding American audiences and that's just the way it is. I thought if the remake was really great, more people might just search for the original Korean film and it would get even more fans. The original Korean film is a cult classic for a reason. It's possibly the best foreign film I've ever seen - violent and edgy and dark and provocative; an instant classic. Unfortunately, the remake is merely a pale copy of a vivid film.

Saying too much about Oldboy risks giving something away. It's got twists and turns and a great, shocking ending. The basic premise is this: Joe (Josh Brolin) is an asshole with a long list of enemies. After a night of heavy drinking, he finds himself kidnapped and locked in a motel room where he is left to rot, framed for the murder of his ex-wife, for twenty years. Who kidnapped him and why? But the better question is: why let him out after twenty years? Once free, he tries to answer these questions and get his revenge. Brolin is great, there is no denying that. Sharlto Copley is this versions villain and I guess he might be auditioning for a Bond villain because I don't understand his over-the-top performance in the slightest. Samuel L. Jackson roams around dressed like the Penguin from Batman Returns. Some of the changes this version makes are for the better (doing away with the whole hypnosis subplot is a definite good thing), but overall, the movie is a huge disappointment, just like the American version of the epic, iconic hallway fight scene. I'm glad this version is more grounded in reality (the Korean version is a tad cartoon-ish at times), but it's also lost so much magic. The Korean version is definitely something special and if you don't mind subtitles, it's infinitely better than this mediocre wannabe.

Grade: C

The Book Thief

It seems strange to say a movie that is narrated by Death, takes place in Nazi Germany, and where more than half of the characters die is nice, but that's exactly what this movie is. There's nothing wrong with it, per se, there's just not much that's special about it either. The Book Thief is based on one of my favorite books of all time, a book that is so special and so singularly important to me, that it sort of makes me mad that the movie is not better. But, at the same time, I can't find a whole lot wrong with it. It's not that the book didn't translate well, it's just that it's so much better on the page. The book follows a young girl who is sent to live with a couple in Germany just before the start of World War II. She is obsessed with books and learning to read and ultimately steals books. She grows close to the neighbor boy Rudy, and also Max, the Jewish man living in her family's basement. It also seems strange to say that The Book Thief is a good movie to watch with the whole family, but it definitely is. It's just so damn nice that I can't really find much to say about it. It's definitely worth renting once it hits Redbox and Netflix.

Grade: B

Dallas Buyers Club

Earlier this year, I saw Prisoners which I felt was an average movie elevated by great acting performances. I feel the same way about Dallas Buyers Club. The movie is overly long, it takes so long to get started and, once it does, it's got a sort of deja vu feel where the same events seem to be happening over and over. Still, the tale of a homophobic straight man in Texas in 1985 who discovers he has AIDS is also riveting at times. This is in part to performances by Matthew McConaughey (how many award worthy performances can he give IN A ROW??? By my count, it's 5, with The Wolf of Wall Street still coming out this year)and, especially, especially, especially Jared Leto. After being diagnosed with AIDS, McConaughey's Ron meets a transvestite named Rayon (Leto) and the two form a Dallas Buyers Club, which is a place for AIDS patients to get drugs smuggled in from Mexico. They aren't paying for the illegal drugs, but instead, paying a membership fee which sort of circumnavigates the law. At the beginning of the AIDS crisis, when no one knew what drugs would work and what wouldn't, these Buyers Clubs helped people live longer lives with a steady dose of mostly vitamins and protein shots. Of course, the FDA wants to shut him down, and of course no doctors are sympathetic to his situation save for one played by Jennifer Garner, and of course, it's AIDS in the 80's, and you can only delay the inevitable for so long. McConaughey is absolutely amazing to watch. His performance is an instant classic and I think he's bound to finally get nominated for an Oscar for it. But the real magic here belongs to Leto who is just absolutely stunning. He's incendiary and the movie lights up whenever he is on screen. A few weeks ago, I claimed Michael Fassbender gave the years best performance in 12 Years a Slave, but Leto is a very, very close second. I wouldn't want to be an Oscar voter who has to choice between these two men, but then, I guess you can't go wrong. The movie is flawed, for sure, but the performances sure as hell aren't.

Grade: B