Complete Grades 2019

Alphabetically, by grade:

A+
Uncut Gems

A
Little Women

A-
Knives Out
Midsommar
Parasite

B+
Ad Astra
Booksmart
The Last Black Man in San Francisco
Marriage Story
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
The Peanut Butter Falcon

B
The Farewell
Ford v Ferrari
Haunt
Hustlers
Late Night
Love, Antosha
Luce
Rocketman
Shazam!
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker
Us
Wild Rose

B-
Avengers: Endgame
Gloria Bell
John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum
Ready or Not
We Have Always Lived in the Castle
Yesterday

C+
Blinded by the Light
Five Feet Apart
High Life
Joker
Long Shot
Ma
Spider-man: Far From Home
Teen Spirit

C
Captain Marvel
Charlie Says
Her Smell
Pet Sematary
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark
Where'd You Go, Bernadette

C-
The Dead Don't Die
The Dirt
Replicas

D+
Happy Death Day 2 U
The Kitchen
The Prodigy
The Souvenir
Them That Follow

D
The Curse of the La Llorona
Escape Room
Glass

D+
Dark Phoenix
Serenity

F
Cold Pursuit
Isn't It Romantic
Under the Silver Lake

Top Ten Movies of 2019

10. The Last Black Man in San Francisco - The best under the radar movie of the year, The Last Black Man in San Francisco follows two friends who try to buy the grand house that one of the men think their grandfather built, and that was his childhood home. But to say this movie is about a house, is like saying Jaws is just about a shark. There is so much more going on in this movie, including a study of male friendship, toxic masculinity, gentrification, and the lies passed down through generations of family. If you get a chance to see this low budget gem, do it.

09. Booksmart - No, Booksmart is NOT the female version of Superbad. Sure, it has a few things in common - both are super funny movies about two high schoolers who are looking to experience one big party. But Booksmart is a hilarious feminist leaning movie about female friendship. It manages to be progressive and inclusive without seeming preachy, and it manages to be heartfelt, without feeling cheesy. A lot of this has to do with the performances from leads Beanie Feldstein adn Kaitlyn Dever, but a whipsmart script certainly helps as well.

08. Marriage Story - The perfect storm of auteur directors meets pitch perfect script meets killer performances, Marriage Story manages to be both heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. It's smart as hell and sad as hell, and if you don't leave thinking Adam Driver gave the best performance of the year, then I'm not sure we can be friends anymore. Sure, it's a little bit too long, and yes, it does feel more like a play than a movie, but this is closer to a masterpiece then the sum of it's flaws.

07. The Peanut Butter Falcon - If you know me at all, then you know I don't necessarily like "nice" movies. But The Peanut Butter Falcon is so goddamn likable that it is hard to not root for it in every sense of the word. It's a very Tom Sawyer / Huck Finn esque story about a mentally challenged teenager on the room from his group home and the troubled man he meets up with, who is running from something much more dangerous. Throw in the social worker with a heart of gold, and you've got yourself the makings of a really great, heartwarming, sweet drama, filled with beautiful moments, sad moments, exciting moments... basically everything you could want from a movie.

06. Ad Astra - Ad Astra is a essentially a space movie with daddy issues as Brad Pitt prepares to travel into deep space searching for his revolutionary astronaut father (Tommy Lee Jones) who may or may not be a persona non grata. Ad Astra is spectacularly filmed, and also terribly sad. It's a bleak drama with one of the most pulse pounding action set pieces of the year. It manages to feel both existential and larger than life, and wildly intimate at the same time. If you like your dramas slow, sad and pretty, then this one is for you.

05. Knives Out - This movie was essentially made for me and all of my particular interests. Agatha Christie esque plot? Check. Alfred Hitchcockian twists and turns? Check. Michael Shannon stealing every scene and being amazing? Yep! Chris Evans looking handsome in knit sweaters? Got that too! Rian Johnson's perfect genre dialogue? Check again. Knives Out is a fun, funny, big ensemble piece that is crowd pleasing and completely satisfying in every way. It's a must watch, whether you are a fan of the genre or not.

04. Parasite - I'm not sure what it is about Korean movies, but when they are good, they are so much better than almost everything else. Parasite is one of the best I've ever seen. It starts out as a sort of comedy of errors, a think piece about class and upward mobility. But it takes a twist and becomes about something else entirely, before ending in a way I never would have predicted in a million years. I don't want to write any more, give away any spoilers, but if you can handle subtitles, then this is a must watch.

03. Midsommar - Ari Aster is on a role. He gave us last year's fantastic Hereditary, and followed it up with this slow burn tragic gem. Hereditary may be a more accessible horror movie, but Midsommar is a more technical achievement. It follows a group of Americans, one grieving an inconceivable family tragedy, who go to Sweden where it's daylight for 24 hours a day, and they are celebrating their summer solstice. Things get creepy, and then creepier and then downright terrifying. Florence Pugh gives a killer performance and all I have to say about that ending is - good for her (in my best Lucille Bluth voice).

02. Little Women - Look at me, putting TWO nice movies in my top 10! That is called personal growth, I guess. But Little Women is the sort of movie where you have a non-stop grin on your face for the first half, and then you are constantly trying to be subtle while crying your eyes out in the second half. Director Greta Gerwig tells the story in a non-linear fashion which somehow makes it seem more modern. And this is the first adaptation I've seen where every single character is cast perfectly from leads to supporting, even changing the professor to a sexy Frenchman was a great idea. This is an instant classic retelling of an iconic book that has been famous for nearly 200 years for a reason.

01. Uncut Gems - The world is currently a trash place, but at least we are alive at the same time as the Safdie Brothers, who are unabashedly becoming my favorite directors. They are young and gritty and raw and they keep making movies like the rule breaker directors did in the late 60s and early 70s. Each movie they direct is better than the one before it, and Uncut Gems is so damn good, it's hard to believe how they will top it (although I'm sure they will find a way). If you had told me that Adam Sandler would star in my favorite movie of 2019, I would have laughed in your face, but he absolutely kills it as a jeweler who is going through some shit. Uncut Gems is basically a non stop roller coaster ride in which your heart is pounding the whole time. The intensity never once lets up and adrenaline will be coursing through your veins. I don't know how the Safdie Brothers manage to keep that pace for an entire movie, but they do it, and the finished project is a masterpiece.

Best Lead Actor and Actress 2019

Lead Actor

05. Leonardo DiCaprio in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood - Maybe people don't take Leo seriously because of the whole teen idol / Titanic / dates exclusively 20 year old models thing. But besides all that, he is one of our best actors and best movie stars. His role as a washed up TV actor in Once Upon a Time, requires a movie star with superb acting chops, and he delivers. There is a long sequence that features his work on a Western and he is top notch in every single moment of that film. Plus, he's totally badass with a flame thrower.

04. Brad Pitt in Ad Astra - In Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Pitt was charming and cool and tough. In Ad Astra, he is quiet and interior and sad. Both performances are extraordinary. Obviously, I prefer the quiet, pretty movie to the talky, loud movie. Like DiCaprio, Pitt is a rare breed - a movie star who is actually a great actor as well, hindered by his good looks a little bit, maybe. This beautiful and sad space movie is a slow, sad fever dream and Pitt nails it.

03. Adam Sandler in Uncut Gems - Look, I'm as surprised as you are. I wondered if my undying devotion to the gritty raw power of the directing Safdie brothers would outweigh my ambivalence bordering on disdain for Adam Sandler. The Safdie brothers manage to draw out a performance from Sandler that is so impressive, it may change the way you look at him. Honestly, Sandler kills it on a jeweler with a gambling problem who has a really, really rough few days. And if the fast talking, charm he oozes doesn't convince you he could give a heavy weight acting performance, just watch the expression on his face when he's watching his daughter in her high school play. Dude has been quietly hiding all this ability for decades.

02. Joaquin Phoenix in Joker - To this day, I cannot decide if I liked the movie Joker, or if I was just so blown away by Phoenix's performance, that it made me believe I saw a better movie than I did. Because Phoenix is THAT GOOD in this role. Between his physical transformation, and his quiet building rage, he delivers one of the knock out performances of the year. Heath Ledger may be a better Batman villain Joker, but Phoenix has to deliver in every single scene of the movie - and he does - giving a daring portrait of mental illness, all capped off with a stunning final showdown.

01. Adam Driver in Marriage Story - The saddest part of Marriage Story is the fact that Driver is going to lose his Best Actor Oscar to a guy playing a clown. Adam Driver is the kind of actor you can't take your eyes off of, ever since he stormed through the HBO series Girls, elevating that mess and becoming the only reason to watch it. Since then, he's become a bonafide movie star. He's excellent in everything, but in Marriage Story, he is perfect. He's playing a good man and a good father, who is just not a great husband, and he is perfection from the small intimate moments, to the big, huge fight scene, to singing sad songs from Company at karaoke. Give him all the awards!


Lead Actress

05. Awkwafina in The Farewell - Like Sandler, I never thought Awkwafina would be on a list for best acting, but 2019 was a weird year, and here we are. She's very funny, but in The Farewell she gets serious, as a Chinese artist living in America, who has to travel back to China after her beloved grandmother becomes terminally ill. Instead of telling the grandmother she is dying, the family stages a fake wedding as an excuse for everyone to return to China. The movie is heartwarming and sad and bittersweet and lovely, and Awkwafina carries it along on her shoulders as the most unwilling of participants. She's a revelation here.

04. Saoirse Ronan in Little Women - Every little girl growing up, reading Little Women a dozen times, wanted to grow up to be Jo - tough, resilient, smart, but also stubborn, lonely, quick to anger, unwilling to fall in love (even with the super cute boy next door). Jo, like all the March sisters, is a complicated woman. She's not just one thing, refusing to succumb to her destiny to be the romantic heroine of her life story. She wants more than that in a time when women didn't get that chance very often. Ronan - who is arguably the best actress of her generation - nails it all, from the cockiness to the neediness, from the strength to the sadness. She's the perfect Jo, and she makes it all look easy.

03. Lupita Nyong'o in Us - If you haven't seen Us, I urge you to do so as soon as possible. It gets a little weird, but if you give in to the weirdness, it definitely pays off. And a big part of why you should watch it is this women right here, who gives a stunning, high wire act like performance as two separate characters - a hard working, constantly worried, tough mom... and her wild eyed untethered counter part, a character who only communicates in guttural sounds and animalistic movements. It's a pleasure to watch an actor be so fearless on screen.

02. Florence Pugh in Midsommar - Let's rename 2019 as the year of Florence Pugh. She elevated spoiled brat Amy March to someone almost likable in Little Women, and she embodied the overwhelming nature of grief in Midsommar. From start to finish, it appears as though she went through hell for her Midsommar performance, and she is stunning in every frame. From grieving and unsure little girl, to the queen who rides alone at the end, and everything in between, there isn't a false note. I don't know what it is about director Ari Aster, but he has a knack from getting career best performances from his leading ladies (see also: Toni Collette in Hereditary).

01. Elisabeth Moss in Her Smell - Like Pugh, Moss gave two killer performances this year. The second, the better of the two, is as a former junkie and self-destructive rock star, trying to make a comeback. I didn't love the movie - I thought it was too long and bordered on indulgence, but Moss is amazing. She is relentless, raging through the movie with an all-encompassing manic energy, devouring every inch of the screen. Even if the movie around her isn't great, you can't take your eyes off of Moss.

Best Supporting Actor and Actress 2019

Supporting Actor

05. Tracy Letts in Ford v Ferrari - It should come as no surprise that I think Tracy Letts is a national treasure, not only as a playwright, but also as an actor. After his layered, heart-warming performance as Lady Bird's dad two years ago, he should (FINALLY) be on everyone's radar. Ford v Ferrari tries to get by on the movie star charisma of Christian Bale and Matt Damon, and it mostly does, but Letts - as Henry Ford II - steals every scene that he is in. His crowning moment is the range of emotion he portrays in a single scene - being driven in a race car for the first time. It's a masterclass in acting and a pleasure to watch.

04. Timothee Chalamet in Little Women - Thank goodness we were blessed with a Little Women retelling when Timothee Chalamet is the perfect age to portray romantic leading man Laurie, because he is effortlessly perfect for the role of lovesick boy and charming, drunken, womanizing (as much as you can be those things in a family movie) young romantic suitor. With his delicate beauty, and endless talent, he mesmerizes as Laurie, and makes it look easy. The entire movie is cast so well, but Chalamet is utterly perfect for this role. He has one great, big scene, that is impressive, but it's the little moments - the under the breath comments, the flirtations - that really make this character.

03. Jonathan Majors in The Last Black Man in San Francisco - As a sensitive artist, Majors breaks out in a big way in The Last Black Man in San Francisco, one of the most underrated, must-see movies of the year. He's quiet and watchful for the majority of the movie, but has a truly impressive, big scene near the end, which will change the way you look at him and the movie. Keep your eye on him, because he's going to be huge.

02. Song kang-ho in Parasite - The entire ensemble of Korean thriller Parasite is truly impressive, but it's Song kang-ho who steals the movie in a big way. As a down on his luck father, fighting to make a buck to help his family, he saunters on to every frame like he's Korea's answer to Daniel Day-Lewis. By the time you get to THAT TURNING POINT and that AMAZING ENDING, you won't be able to stop thinking about him or his performance.

01. Brad Pitt in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood - Let's call 2019, the year I finally started loving Brad Pitt. And Once Upon a Time in Hollywood - and his killer tough, cool guy performance - is one of the many reasons. Is anyone more effortlessly cool than Brad Pitt in this movie? He's a stunt man and personal driver to a movie star who gets mixed up with the Manson family, all while kicking ass. And did I mention the "fixing the roof shirtless scene"? Because, Jesus, he's beautiful.


Supporting Actress

05. Juliette Binoche in High Life - I'm not sure I can recommend High Life as a movie. Sure, it's got a really great twist ending, but it's also slow and long and not exactly fun to watch. But if you are looking for the ballsiest, gutsiest, most daring, out there performance of the year - look no further than Juliette Binoche, who absolutely kills it as a controversial scientist. She is remarkable to watch.

04. Jennifer Lopez in Hustlers - I wanted to watch Hustlers mostly to see if Lopez is as good as everyone on Twitter says she is... and she is. From doing sexy strip dances to Fiona Apple songs, to playing mama bear to a bunch of wayward strippers, to seducing and destroying the lives of men - she drips and oozes with unabashed movie star magnetism and sex appeal. I firmly believe no one else in all of Hollywood could have played Ramona, the stripper with NO heart of gold, better than Lopez.

03. Elisabeth Moss in Us - The first time we see Elisabeth Moss in Us, she is little more than a cliche - spoiled rich wife and mother who has a subtle disdain for her husband and spoiled brat twins. The next time we see Elisabeth Moss in Us, she is an absolute force to reckon with. I think Moss is one of the most gifted and exciting actresses to watch right now. From stealing the entirety of Mad Men away from Jon Hamm, to her next level work on Handmaid's Tale, she has been the queen of television of the 2000's. Hopefully, soon she will be a movie star, too.

02. Florence Pugh in Little Women - Justice for Amy! In every other adaptation of Little Women, Amy has been portrayed as a one dimensional brat, spoiled and unlikable. But with this retelling, we finally get a layered portrait of Amy - a complicated girl living in a complicated time, struggling with sibling rivalry and trying to marry rich to save her poor family. Pugh makes Amy tough, and yes, a little snotty, but she brings such a vivacity to her performance, that you see the tender and loving side too. Being a woman - and a sister - is complicated, not just black or white - likable or unlikable - and Pugh knocks it out of the park.

01. Laura Dern in Marriage Story - Laura Dern took a little time away from being the only good thing about season two of Big Little Lies to give a bat out of hell performance in Marriage Story. As a savage, killer divorce attorney she manages to be kind and killer, polite and deadly, sweet and savage all while wearing killer heels. If she didn't have your vote for Best Supporting Actress before the trial scene, that will seal the deal. Dern is a national treasure and kills it in every moment of this movie.

2019 Yearly Wrap Up

The best in acting and film is coming, but first...

MVP
Elisabeth Moss - Killing it as a leading lady in Her Smell, stealing scenes in Us, being the best thing about the terrible The Kitchen, and let's not forget The Handmaid's Tale, her crowning achievement.
Runner Up - Brad Pitt - The one two punch of Ad Astra and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is enough, but he also produced one of my favorite movies of the year, The Last Black Man in San Francisco.

Best Director
Ari Aster - Midsommar
Runner Up - Bong Joon-Ho - Parasite

Best Ensemble
Knives Out
Runner Up - Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Best Poster
Parasite
Runner Up - Midsommar

Best Scene Stealer
Toni Collette - Knives Out
Runner Up - Billie Lourd - Booksmart

Best Kiss
Adam Driver and Daisy Ridley - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Runner Up - Beanie Feldstein and Skylar Gisondo - Booksmart

Best Chemistry
Beanie Feldstein and Kaityln Dever - Booksmart
Runner Up - Shia LaBeouf and Zack Gottsagen - The Peanut Butter Falcon

Best On-Screen Duo
Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever - Booksmart
Runner Up - Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio - Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Best Dance Sequence
Jennifer Lopez - Striptease to Fiona Apple's Criminal in Hustlers
Runner Up - Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever's pre-school jam in Booksmart

Best Musical Sequence
Adam Driver sings Being Alive from Company in Marriage Story
Runner Up - Kaitlyn Dever sings You Oughtta Know in Booksmart

Best Song
Glasgow (No Place Like Home) from Wild Rose
Runner Up - Control from Her Smell

Best Score
Midsommar
Runner Up - Us

Best Action Sequence
The fight at the Continental in John Wick 3
Runner Up - Leo and the flamethrower in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Best Fight Scene
Kylo Ren vs. Rey lightsaber fight on the wreckage of the Death Star in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Runner Up - John Wick vs. Zero in John Wick 3

Best Car Chase
Knives Out
Runner Up - John Wick 3 motorcycle chase

Most Cathartic Moment
Brad Pitt takes out the Manson Family in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Runner Up - Julianne Moore paintballs the house of a f**kboi in Gloria Bell

Breakthrough Performance
Julia Butters - Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Runner Up - Samara Weaving - Ready or Not

Best Comedic Performance
Beanie Feldstein - Booksmart
Runner Up - Kaitlyn Dever - Booksmart

Best Hero
Iron Man - Avengers: Endgame
Runner Up - Rey, Finn and Poe - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Best Villain
Palpatine - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Runner Up - SPOILER ALERT in Knives Out

Best Badass
Brad Pitt in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Runner Up - Keri Russell in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Best Pet
Brandy - Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Runner Up - Goose - Captain Marvel

Best Opening Sequence
Pre-credits in Midsommar
Runner Up - Hawkeye and the snap in Avengers: Endgame

Best Ending
Birthday party in Parasite
Runner Up - That smile in Midsommar

Best Single Scene
Fight scene in Marriage Story
Runner Up - The flood in Parasite

Saddest Moment
The last 15 minutes of Love, Antosha
Runner Up - Literally all of Marriage Story

Most Bonkers Movie
Good Bonkers - Us
Bad Bonkers - Under the Silver Lake

Best Cinematography
Midsommar
Runner Up - Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Best Costumes
Flower dress from Midsommar
Runner Up - 60s style from Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Best Original Screenplay
Marriage Story
Runner Up - Knives Out

Best Adapted Screenplay
Hustlers
Runner Up - Gloria Bell

Best Quote
"I give amazing hand jobs AND I got a 1540 on the SAT." - Booksmart
Runner Up - "What's rule number one?" "Party!" - The Peanut Butter Falcon

Worst Films 2019

Back from my year long exile to post my best and worst of the year. I'll be updating from now until the end of the year with my best lists, but first let's get the worst of the year out of the way.

05. Dark Phoenix - Arguably the best story line in an X-Men comic, Dark Phoenix should have been the crowning achievement in a dying franchise. Following the catastrophic fall to the dark side for one time hero Jean Grey, and featuring returning series MVP's Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy, the movie version somehow falls terribly short. Newcomer Jessica Chastain does her best to elevate this mess, but ultimately the movie suffers from a convoluted plot line, messy action sequences, and a number of actors phoning it in (not mentioning any names **cough cough** Jennifer Lawrence). But the biggest mistake of all comes with the casting of young Jean Grey. I've only seen Sophie Turner on Game of Thrones and was holding out criticism of her acting (because Game of Thrones isn't really known for it's writing or acting), but it's possible she may be the least interesting, more boring actor alive. Someone with a little more intensity, or star power, could have helped make this movie at least watchable. Turner isn't that actor.

04. Serenity - SPOILER ALERT - See if you can keep up with me and this plot overview - Matthew McConaughey is a fisherman obsessed with capturing a large tuna. His ex-wife (a completely over the top Anne Hathaway) returns to entice him into killing her abusive new husband (Jason Clarke, who I somehow love even in this mess, even as a terrible person). Also, a creepy Kendall Roy is following him around and walking into the ocean in his suit. And Diane Lane is there, being needy and seductive. The big twist?? This is all a video game being played by an abused little boy. I know, I know. It's all as bizarre and ridiculous as it sounds.

03. Isn't it Romantic - No, no, it is not.

02. Cold Pursuit - Remember when Liam Neeson starred as a bad ass with a particular skill set who traversed the globe to avenge the kidnapping of his daughter? It was a high octane, thrilling, action movie that revitalized his career and was carried along by his movie star charisma and a relatively simple, but appealing plot. Well, this is about a snow plow driver who has to avenge the death of his junkie son and it lacks any of the charm, likability or thrills of the eerily similar Taken. Skip this. Watch Taken again.

01. Under the Silver Lake - This movie contains the following: a dog murderer, a pop band called Jesus and the Brides of Dracula, an underground comic book artist, characters called the "Owl Woman" and the "Homeless King", wealthy men faking their death and "ascending" to live in bunkers with three wives, and a talking squirrel. If any of this sounds appealing to you, then be my guest. I thought it was going to be pleasantly weird and wonderful as well. Turns out, it's just a mess.