May 2015

Maps to the Stars
Stars - Julianne Moore, Robert Pattinson, Mia Wasikowska, John Cusack
Plot - The lives of a fading actress and a possibly insane personal assistant intersect in this David Cronenberg bore fest.
Thoughts - The movie is mostly a waste of time, though Moore is fantastic, but that's pretty obvious. She always is. This movie tries to be daring and shocking but mostly it is just trying too hard and disappointing.
Grade - D

Mad Max: Fury Road
Stars - Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult
Plot - A mysterious man and a bad ass one armed woman help enslaved women escape the clutches of an evil man.
Thoughts - 100% guaranteed that you will not see anything cooler or more bad ass or more visually electrifying than Fury Road this year, or maybe ever. This bad ass movie, one long epic amazing car chase, really, also happens to be something of a feminist manifesto. It's powerful and bleak and stunning and I can't even find enough adjectives to describe it. Sure, the plot leaves something to be desired (travel from point a to point b, only to find out point b sucks and turn around to go back), but, really, who cares?
Grade - B+

The Wedding Ringer
Stars - Kevin Hart, Josh Gad
Plot - A friendless man hires a best man for his wedding and (sexist and offensive) hijinks ensue.
Thoughts - This movie is nothing short of offensive and sexist, but I also found myself laughing a few times.
Grade - D+

Veronika Decides to Die
Stars - Sarah Michelle Gellar
Plot - A woman decides life has nothing left to offer her and tries to kill herself, only to survive with a weakened heart and days to live.
Thoughts - First things first, I love Sarah Michelle Gellar so much. Maybe in some other world, there is a version of this movie that is powerful and insightful and thought provoking. But this awful mess isn't it. This is the watered down Lifetime  movie of the week version where everything is predictable and everything is a cliche.
Grade - F

Poltergeist
Stars - Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie Dewitt, Jared Harris
Plot - A family moves into a house infested with angry spirits.
Thoughts - It's not that it's bad, per se, just uninspired. As far as remakes go, it's fine. It doesn't break new ground or ruin your memories of the original. And thank goodness for Sam Rockwell and his all around charm and awesome-ness. Without him, I think this might be an unredeemable mess.
Grade - C-