May 2015

Maps to the Stars
Stars - Julianne Moore, Robert Pattinson, Mia Wasikowska, John Cusack
Plot - The lives of a fading actress and a possibly insane personal assistant intersect in this David Cronenberg bore fest.
Thoughts - The movie is mostly a waste of time, though Moore is fantastic, but that's pretty obvious. She always is. This movie tries to be daring and shocking but mostly it is just trying too hard and disappointing.
Grade - D

Mad Max: Fury Road
Stars - Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult
Plot - A mysterious man and a bad ass one armed woman help enslaved women escape the clutches of an evil man.
Thoughts - 100% guaranteed that you will not see anything cooler or more bad ass or more visually electrifying than Fury Road this year, or maybe ever. This bad ass movie, one long epic amazing car chase, really, also happens to be something of a feminist manifesto. It's powerful and bleak and stunning and I can't even find enough adjectives to describe it. Sure, the plot leaves something to be desired (travel from point a to point b, only to find out point b sucks and turn around to go back), but, really, who cares?
Grade - B+

The Wedding Ringer
Stars - Kevin Hart, Josh Gad
Plot - A friendless man hires a best man for his wedding and (sexist and offensive) hijinks ensue.
Thoughts - This movie is nothing short of offensive and sexist, but I also found myself laughing a few times.
Grade - D+

Veronika Decides to Die
Stars - Sarah Michelle Gellar
Plot - A woman decides life has nothing left to offer her and tries to kill herself, only to survive with a weakened heart and days to live.
Thoughts - First things first, I love Sarah Michelle Gellar so much. Maybe in some other world, there is a version of this movie that is powerful and insightful and thought provoking. But this awful mess isn't it. This is the watered down Lifetime  movie of the week version where everything is predictable and everything is a cliche.
Grade - F

Poltergeist
Stars - Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie Dewitt, Jared Harris
Plot - A family moves into a house infested with angry spirits.
Thoughts - It's not that it's bad, per se, just uninspired. As far as remakes go, it's fine. It doesn't break new ground or ruin your memories of the original. And thank goodness for Sam Rockwell and his all around charm and awesome-ness. Without him, I think this might be an unredeemable mess.
Grade - C-

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1

The fact that Mockingjay is not a great movie is not it's fault. It suffers from following Catching Fire, easily the best installment of the franchise, and from being the boring first half of an epic finale. It's all reestablishing old characters and relationships and meeting new characters and reminding people what has already happened and laying the ground work for what is to come. It has no beginning, middle or end. It is not a stand alone film, not really. So it's not Mockingjay's fault that it is so mediocre.

At the end of Catching Fire, our heroine Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) shot an arrow into the dome at the Quarter Quell. She was rescued by the rebel forces of District 13. Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) was captured by the Capitol and evil President Snow (Donald Sutherland). Mockingjay opens with Katniss living in the underground bunkers of District 13, where she is joined by her mom and sister, as well as Gale (Liam Hemsworth), Plutarch (the late, great, dearly missed Philip Seymour Hoffman), Haymitch (scene stealer Woody Harrelson), Effie (Elizabeth Banks, devoid of fab wardrobe), Finnick (Sam Claflin) and District 13 president Coin (Julianne Moore).  After Katniss' seemingly rebellious move, the districts started a bit of a rebellion so now the think tank in District 13 decide to push it into an all out war, using Katniss as the face of the war. Meanwhile, the Capitol is forcing Peeta to speak it against the war and Katniss. And... honestly? That's pretty much all that happens during what seems like a very long 2 hours.  I may be in the minority here but I would prefer a really good 3 hour movie rather than 2 mediocre 2 hour movies.

Not much really happens in the movie although there are a few nice moments (Katniss singing a haunting song on an expedition to her destroyed District), an exciting action sequence (an intense visit to District 8; easily the best scene in the whole movie), and even some bad ass fashion statements (Natalie Dormer and her cool as hell half shaved head (and, yes, now I want to half shave MY head)). But mostly Mockingjay is boring. But it's not it's fault! The cast all shows up to play. Lawrence is actually one of the weakest links here, getting out shone by scene stealers Harrelson and Banks, and out acted by consummate pros like Moore and Hoffman.  (Aside: Just seeing Hoffman on screen is hard knowing it's one of his last on screen appearances. His death was devastating. What a talent! Even in a mostly wasted supporting role in a mediocre movie. His talent was tremendous). The movie looks good and it's solid visually. And if I though about ways to change it to make it better, I can't really come up with anything save cut it and make one final film instead of Part 1 and 2. And that's not going to happen. Two parts will make twice as much money. Hollywood execs aren't stupid.

So Mockingjay is a mostly boring ride. Again, not it's fault. Once it starts to pick up steam, it's over, and lives us only anticipating next year's finale. What a tease!

Grade: C 

Horror Movie Month: Carrie

The Stars: Chloe Grace Moretz, Ansel Elgort, Judy Greer, Julianne Moore

The Plot: A shy, strange teenager is bullied by a group of her classmates while also discovering she has kinetic powers. Needless to say, a horrible prank at the school prom climaxes in a bloodbath.

I'm going to go ahead and be brutally honest for a minute: Growing up, I was bullied to nearly my breaking point and around this time I discovered the original Carrie, starring Sissy Spacek. While I didn't exactly want to kill any of my tormentors, Carrie did sort of become my hero, because how I wished and wished I had powers that would make these jerks suffer. So, the original Carrie is sort of special to me. I guess it's hard to remake a movie that is so iconic, but I'm also not completely against it. I mean, we get different versions of Shakespeare every few years, so why should Stephen King be any different, really? The problem with remaking a movie, however, is that everyone knows exactly what happens. It takes away from any sort of anticipation. So, you better do something really special with the movie in order to compensate. Director Kimberly Peirce does nothing at all special here. The movie doesn't really get good until the last twenty minutes or so (and star Moretz looks so good and creepy during the scenes when she is so covered with blood, even her eyes are red). Up until then, it's just a boring movie that we've all seen before. I was most worried about Moretz. I know Spacek was way too old to play a teenager in the original Carrie, and Moretz is only 16 or whatever, but she's also too pretty and perfect to ever know what being bullied actually feels like. However, I was sort of impressed with her. She does an absolutely great job as Carrie. In fact, the acting all around is superb, especially from new find Elgort (this is his first movie and he's following it up with two super anticipated YA adaptations: Divergent and The Fault in Our Stars), and Moore, of course, who steals the entire movie. But did anyone expect any less from Moore as Margaret White?

The Scares: Carrie was never a scary movie, per se. It was more a suspense movie, I guess. Although the original movie did have one really great scare. This version, unfortunately, doesn't use that moment, or even re-imagine it in any way.

The Body Count: So many, some more deserving than others!

The Grade: C

Ceremony, Battle Los Angeles, Crazy Stupid Love

Ceremony - Here's the thing about Ceremony: it's awfully cute at times, has a fantastic lead performance but also feels contrived. The film is written and directed by Max Winkler (the son of Henry Winkler a.k.a. The Fonz!), and it's an admirable debut film. It follows Sam (Michael Angarano), a children's book author who makes his best friend Marshall (Reece Thompson) go away with him for the weekend. However, he withholds the fact that his purpose is to ruin the wedding ceremony of the girl of his dreams, Zoe (Uma Thurmnan) to her pompous fiancee, Whit (Lee Pace). If you were going to put Ceremony in a genre, it would be "Quirky Indie Movie" and, boy, is it ever. The problem with quirky indie movies is that sometimes they try way too hard. And that is one of the problems here. For all the moments when Ceremony is brilliant and funny and poignant, it has moments where it feels fake and forced. However, Angarano's performance is so damn good that it's easy to overlook the flaws. He's simple perfection, all bravado and forced confidence and fast talking charm. He's hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time. I've loved his work since his days as the young William Miller in Almost Famous and it's nice to see him grow up into these kinds of roles. I hope he sticks with the indie scene because he's too good of an actor to take shitty supporting roles in bad movies. He could grow up to be a Sam Rockwell type actor. In fact, he's sort of morphing into Sam Rockwell at times in this movie. And I most certainly don't have a problem with that.
Grade: B-

Battle Los Angeles - Oy vey! This movie has zero redeemable qualities. I can't even believe that I wasted two hours of my life on this crap. It's a badly directed, badly written, stupid sci-fi movie that wastes the considerable talent of Aaron Eckhardt. I'm not even going to bore you with a plot. Aliens take over Los Angeles. Blah, blah, blah. Lots of bad action sequences and even worse writing. Stay far away from this movie as it is a complete and utter waste of your time.
Grade: F

Crazy Stupid Love - The romantic comedy genre is lacking, at best. Two years ago, a little indie movie called 500 Days of Summer came along and completely breathed a whole new life into the genre. Crazy Stupid Love isn't quite that good, but it is definitely one of the better romantic comedies made in the last few years. First we meet Steve Carell's Cal, a man who has been with his wife (Julianne Moore) for over thirty years when one day she tells him she wants a divorce. Of course, his life begins to unravel. He starts going to bars and drinking his sorrows away. There he meets Jacob (Ryan Gosling), a young ladies man who takes Cal under his wing and teachers him how to pick up women. Cal seems to know it all... except when he actually begins to fall in love with Hannah (Emma Stone) and doesn't know what the hell to do. Throw in Marisa Tomei, Kevin Bacon, Josh Groban, and Analeigh Tipton (I still can't believe if she is the weirdest looking or prettiest looking girl of all time), and you've got yourself a fantastic cast for a romantic comedy. And it is very funny, which is a plus. You might think Carell gets all the laughs, but it's actually Gosling who all but steals the show (Stone and her awkward goofy adorableness comes in a close second). Plus, the movie just simply has heart. It's not raunchy and it doesn't try too hard to be a certain kind of movie. It stays true to itself and is very sweet. Plus, the cast doesn't hurt. The cast is actually fantastic all around and helps elevate any problems to a different level. There are a few problems, mainly the running time. It feels longer than it is. However, all in all, Crazy Stupid Love is a sweet, funny, great time at the movies.
Grade: B

Ranking the Best Picture Nominees

The Oscars is a week from today and I couldn't be more excited. Later this week, I will make my predictions but for now I am going to rank the 10 best picture nominees, now that I have finally seen them all. Most of them I have reviewed before but a few I haven't, so a mini review will be included as a refresher. Also, the reviews are written the way I would rank them, from best to worst.

THE SOCIAL NETWORK - All that best picture of the year talk surrounding this film is NO JOKE. It's not just "that Facebook" movie. It's fresh, relevant, fast-paced, witty, clever, funny and a damn good movie, featuring the best ensemble of the year (all under 30!). David Fincher directs the hell out of the memorable script by Aaron Sorkin. Grade - A

BLACK SWAN - A beautiful and disturbing thriller set in the world of ballet, Black Swan is Darren Aronofsky's latest with Natalie Portman giving her best performance ever. Aronofsky is fearless presenting us a thrilling movie about the search for perfection in art. It's delightfully crazy and beautiful, intense and powerful. Grade - A

INCEPTION - The most radically original movie since Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Inception is a wonderful mindf**k from Christopher Nolan, the man who brought us the brilliant mindf**k that was Memento a few years back. The cast, the story, the effects - everything about this movie is just plain incredible. Also, kudos for that epic hallway scene with Joseph Gordon-Levitt which is a blissfully long way from 3rd Rock from the Sun. Grade - A

THE FIGHTER - You know I can't stop talking about the acting powerhouse performance of Christian Bale (and if he gets upset by Geoffrey Rush, it will be a sin). But this whole movie is an amazing character study about the internal and external struggles to never give up. Sure, it's a boxing film (and the boxing sequences are intense and powerful) but it's also a slow burning character drama that gets inside the heads of these working class heroes. Grade - B+

127 HOURS - An infinitely better film than Danny Boyle's last offering (the overrated Oscar winning Slumdog Millionaire), 127 Hours is an adrenaline rush that doesn't stop and doesn't quit. With a cast of virtually one man - the crazy talented James Franco - 127 Hours is the kind of movie that burrows into your brain and stays there for days. If it wasn't a true story, there's no way you would believe what this guy went through. Thanks to Franco's brilliant performance, this movie is one you won't want to miss. Grade - B+

TRUE GRIT - I have nothing but good things to say about the latest from the Coen Brothers. The cinematography is breathtaking. The performances are spectacular (especially that of Hailee Steinfeld who I am predicting to upset favorite Melissa Leo). It's a well shot, funny, thrilling, suspenseful Western delight. It's just that after leaving the theater, I was a little underwhelmed. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the movie immensely. It's a great, enjoyable film. It just didn't hit me and stay with me the way the previous films did. Grade - B

THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT - Look, the movie was fine. It's got a solid script and some very good filmmaking, but it's really the performances that make it worth it. Annette Bening and Julianne Moore go toe-to-toe as lesbians in love who deal with their sperm donor (a delightful Mark Ruffalo) showing up and making himself part of their lives. It's a wonderful modern love story with starkly realized characters that you feel like you truly know. However, sometimes it's just a little too Lifetime movie of the week for me. Not that there is anything wrong with Lifetime movies. They just shouldn't be Best Picture nominees. (If you remember, I felt the same about Precious last year and I feel the way about the next movie...) Grade - B-

WINTER'S BONE - Another movie that feels way too much like a Lifetime movie to deserve a place in the Best Picture lineup. I'm not going to lie, the performances here are sensational. In fact, Jennifer Lawrence would be my first runner up to Best Actress winner (finger's crossed) Natalie Portman. She's only 20 now, (she was probably 18 when they filmed) and her performance is so subtle and nuanced, it's like a performance by someone twice her age and with twice her experience. John Hawkes nominated supporting turn is spell binding as well. The movie was just, well, kind of boring. Grade - C+

TOY STORY 3 - Okay, look, I'm not a big fan of animated movies. I'm not going to lie. The last animated movie I truly loved was Beauty and the Beast and that came out when I was something like 7. Since then, the ones I've seen haven't impressed me all that much and I try to stay away from them as much as possible. But I truly did give this movie a chance. It just all seemed a little too pretentious, winky, cheeky, look at how smart we are, to me. I'm fully admitting it's not my thing so take this with a grain of salt but I hated the damn movie until... that ending. That beautiful, sweet, sad, adorable ending which made the whole pile of shit worth it. This movie was a hard D going into those last ten minutes but those ten minutes made things so much better. Grade - C

THE KING'S SPEECH - It blows my mind that such a colossal bore of a movie is going to (probably, but hopefully not) beat The Social Network, one of the most exciting movies of the year, for Best Picture at the Oscars next week. The filmmaking was fine (a bit weird at times... what was with those creepy close ups at the end??). The performances were all very good (especially Firth who was excellent, although, methinks, not as good as Franco, and what the hell with them wasting the talents of Helena Bonham Carter??). There were parts of the movie that were interesting and funny and a little amusing. But all in all? Boring! Really, really, really boring! And pretentious! And, also, really what was with the way they reacted to him finally giving a speech without stuttering at the end?? Like he had cured f**king cancer or something? Geez. Grade - C-

Top Ten List: Best Actress 2010

10. Carey Mulligan in The Greatest - In such an underground movie, one that not many people have seen or even heard of, it sure has some great acting by the entire cast. Best of all is Mulligan, an actress who is slowly making a name for herself thanks to last year's An Education. She's even better here as a young woman, pregnant, mourning the death of the man she loved but didn't really know all that well. She struggles to find out the most about him while dealing with his mourning family. She's simply excellent.

09. Rebecca Hall in The Town - Sure, Jeremy Renner is getting all the buzz (and rightfully so), but Hall is damn good as a bank manager dealing with being taken hostage and then falling in love (unknowingly) with one of the men who took her. The layers of her performance are so impressive, it's hard to believe she isn't a bigger more famous star at this point.

08. Olivia Williams in The Ghost Writer - Although I enjoyed The Ghost Writer, I had my problems with this film (sort of typical, right down to the male casting). However, Williams was a truly wonderful addition to the film. As the sexy and vulnerable wife of a prime minister, she steals every single scene from two men (Ewan McGregor and Pierce Brosnan) who are far more famous than she is.

07. Noomi Rapace in The Girl Who Played with Fire - It's no surprise that I have sort of latched onto Lisbeth Salander as a character that I admire. She's badass, tough, and lives life by her own rules. I was very concerned with who they would choose for the American remake. While I'm not positive I approve of Rooney Mara, it may just be because she will never ever live up to Noomi Rapace who is pure perfection. As you can imagine, more later...

06. Annette Bening in The Kids Are All Right - She may be the only person who could beat Natalie Portman at the Oscars, but she didn't even crack my top 5. Bening is good, sure. She's always good. And that's part of the problem. We've all seen her do this type-A personality role before. I don't want to take anything away from her wonderful performance but, honestly, there were better this year.

05. Julianne Moore in The Kids Are All Right - While Bening played the exact same character she always plays, Moore struck out and paved new territory as the slightly ditzy, underappreciated wife of Bening's. She's a free spirit always changing her mind about everything, including her profession. And, I mean, kudos for all those super sweaty sex scenes!

04. Emma Stone in Easy A - Since she broke out, we knew she could be the funny girl (Superbad, Zombieland). But in Easy A, she is the funny girl but also the smart girl and the sexy girl and the girl who you really want to be best friends with. She takes what could have been a cliche teen comedy character and turns her into a real person, someone you feel like you know personally. Plus, she's got perfect comedic timing, but that should be no surprise!

03. Jennifer Lawrence in Winter's Bone - So, I didn't like this movie. I mean, I didn't hate it either but like The Kids Are All Right, I don't get all the buzz. Also like The Kids Are All Right, one thing I can't complain about is the acting (her co-star John Hawkes just missed my Best Supporting Actor list yesterday). Lawrence is a revelation. It's the sort of breakthrough role that will most certainly send her into a whole new stratosphere, playing a tough teenger in the hardened mid-West, trying to take care of a sick mom and her younger siblings, all while searching for her father amidst some really creepy and crazy people. Lawrence truly shines.

02. Noomi Rapace in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Like I said, she's the perfect Lisbeth. Rapace manages to make the most of playing the badass computer hacker with the traumatic past by basing her performance in real emotion. She's got tattoos, an intimidating stare and an "i don't take shit" expression on her face at all times, but there is something so much more behind those eyes and Rapace manages to get that across to the audience which is why she is so brilliant here. Plus, there's the way she deals with a sexual predator that will truly make you want to stand up and applaud her badassery.

01. Natalie Portman in Black Swan - Portman, for me, has always been a little rigid on film. She sort of reminds me of Nicole Kidman in that neither actress really breaks out of their comfort zone too often. But when they do (Kidman in Moulin Rouge, Portman in Closer), it's a pure pleasure. This is Portman breaking out of her comfort zone BIG TIME. As Nina, a ballerina who wants nothing more than to be perfect, she walks the perfect line between sweet, naive, soft spoken little girl and, later, a woman full of passion and danger and sexuality. Her transformation is truly impressive and something that everyone is taking about (and for good reason). As a girl cracking under so much pressure, Portman hammers it out of the park and here's hoping Oscar rewards her.

Tomorrow - Best Actor!

Mini Reviews

Inception - By far, the best movie of the year so far. I haven't seen anything this radically original since probably Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. There aren't many fresh ideas out there these days so thank goodness Christopher Nolan has a few. The cast, the story, the effects - everything is just plain incredible. Leonardo DiCaprio gives his second amazing performance of the year (working out some crazy dead wife drama - AGAIN). Also, that epic hallway scene with Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a blissfully long way from 3rd Rock From the Sun.
Grade - A

The Other Guys - At times, laugh out loud funny. However, there are times when it's also extremely plodding. It's too long, for sure and the plot could be a lot tighter. However, it's still quite funny and Will Ferrell isn't nearly as annoying as he usually is. Michael Keaton is nothing short of a scene stealer. Worth a watch but not the funniest movie of the year.
Grade - C+

The Runaways - Parts of this movie are far better than they need to be. But then it becomes a typical cliche movie. The movie drags along forever at some points but then seemingly skips a lot of very important parts. In the end, it's kind of a wash out. Kristen Stewart, who looks a hell of a lot like Joan Jett, can't seem to shake that awkwardness that she's so famous for. Dakota Fanning is pretty impressive as Cherie Curry. However, the movie belongs to Michael Shannon as The Runaways diabolical and hilarious manager Kim Fowley. He steals the entire movie and is, at times, the only reason worth watching. I want a spin off about his character!
Grade - C-

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Sweden) - I can see why they are having such a difficult time casting the role of Lisbeth Salander, the tough as nails, tattooed, bad ass computer hacker, for the U.S. remake. The part is not going to be a walk in the park but Noomi Rapace rocks the role so hard. She's a revelation in this complicated story about a disgraced journalist trying to solve a 40 year old murder. Beautiful filmmaking, a great script and solid performances make this a damn good movie.
Grade - B+

Step Up 3D - All my life, I've always wanted to know what it would be like to have someone break dance on my face. Thanks to Step Up 3D, now I know! Sure, it's not going to win any awards and it's not the most amazing film of all time or anything. But it is a hell of a lot of fun. As you are probably aware, urban dance movies are my guilty pleasure and some of the dance sequences are so enjoyable. It's such a fun movie!
Grade - C+

The Kids Are All Right - The indie sensation of the year is definitely worth the buzz. It's got a solid script and some very good filmmaking but it's the performances that make the movie worth it. Mark Ruffalo and Mia Wasikowska give amazing supporting roles as a man in his late 30s struggling to grow up and an 18 year old struggling to become an adult, respectively. But it's the all out war for acting supremacy between leads Julianne Moore and Annette Bening that is most engaging. It's a tough call as to who out acts whom. My vote goes for Moore and her delightfully hilarious ex-stoner who is actively making a mess out of her lovely life.
Grade - B+


Coming soon - reviews of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World and Eat Pray Love.