Horror Movie Month: Maniac & Quarantine

Maniac
The Stars: Elijah Wood
The Plot: A guy with serious mommy issues traipses around the city scalping pretty girls.
The Scares: None at all, not even a little bit. The only semi-cool thing about Maniac is the way its filmed. Its shot entirely first person, so you only see star Elijah Wood in mirror reflections and the such. This is half awesome and half gimmicky, but at least it is something that sets it apart from being just another gory slash fest, which it totally almost is.
The Body Count: 9
The Grade: D

Quarantine
The Stars: Jennifer Carpenter, Jay Hernandez
The Plot: A 911 call takes a pair of cops, an firefighting crew, and the news reporters doing a story on them to an apartment building where it seems a disease that turns you into a crazed, fast moving, flesh devouring crazy person is spreading fast.
The Scares: I actually find Quarantine to be quite scary. It's a little more realistic than a typical horror movie. It's pretty much a zombie movie but with rabies instead of biological hazard, or post-apocalyptic outbreak. Also, the movie is just about as intense as anything else I've seen in the last few months. The big flaw, however, is the last twenty minutes or so where Jennifer Carpenter's character becomes a big whimpering, annoying mess who I just wanted to punch in the face. That super annoying last act very nearly ruined all the good will this movie built in the middle scenes.
The Body Count: Who knows who actually dies and who gets turned into rabies crazed psychos??
The Grade: B-/C+, depends on my mood

Friday Top Five / Horror Movie Month: The Best Horror Films

I know, I know. It's only Thursday. Tomorrow is going to be a super busy day for me and I know I won't have time to post, so the Friday Top Five is coming a day early this week. This will probably be my last Horror Movie Month related post, so I figured I better make it a good one. I've focused on the best remakes and sequels, and the best horror movies of the last twenty years. Now it's time for my list of the best horror films of all time.

05. Suspiria (Dario Argento, 1977)
If you haven't seen this movie, maybe you've seen Darren Aronofsky's 2010 film Black Swan starring Natalie Portman. That movie is pretty heavily influenced by Suspiria (without the lesbian action anyway) which focuses on an elite ballet school in Germany and the naive American student who comes there to study. Oh, and witches, too! Argento is more or less the master of horror, and Suspiria is his best film, far and away. He has a knack for making normal, everyday things seem terrifying, such as the rain or even the closing of an automatic door. Everything is terrifying in the world of Argento, and everything is unsettling too. I think this is partially because the musical scores to his films never quite fit with the film. They are always loud and abrasive, coming and going, and it always keeps the mood tense, as if anything can happen at any moment. And when your dance school is really a coven of witches, I guess anything CAN happen.

04. The Shining (Stanley Kubrick, 1980)
What's scarier than being in an isolated hotel in the middle of nowhere in the dead of winter? Maybe the fact that your son goes around saying "Redrum" in the creepiest of creepy voices. Or maybe it's the fact that your husband goes stark raving mad at some point. Shelley Duvall does not have it easy in The Shining, that's for sure! The hotel is haunted by waves of blood and twin girls who are now iconic (and still creep me out). The Shining is so beautifully filmed, the imagery is so unforgettable and haunting. Stephen King (who wrote the book) may not have been happy with this movie, but it's an actual masterpiece, a film that builds on atmosphere and tension all while speeding to its epic, twisted ending.

03. Halloween (John Carpenter, 1978)
There's not really much more to be said about a movie that is so iconic and terrifying. It is a classic, a movie that you can watch over and over (and I watch it every year) and it never gets old. In fact, I might even argue that it gets better with time. It's just such a well crafted tale of a psychotic child who murders his sister and spends his life in a mental institution. When he breaks free, he returns home and becomes fixated on a pretty teenager. Then he begins to murder her friends one by one. I like that there is no rational explanation for the behavior of Michael Myers in this first film. All the mythology comes much later. In this first film, Michael is just a man who starts killing people in a small town for no apparent reason. And what's scarier than that?

02. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (Tobe Hooper, 1974)
Here's the thing about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre - there is almost no blood, no gore, no gross out moments. Instead, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is so terrifying because it's so nihilistic. This is a movie that is deeply perverse and deeply affecting. It's non-stop and it's raw and gritty. It's the absolute opposite of today's slick, music video horror movies aimed at pretty teenagers and starring even prettier teenagers. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is an absolute classic and powerful film with an ending so twisted and wonderful that I get chills just thinking about it. As far as slasher films go, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is the best there ever has been, and the best there ever will be. Hundreds of movies can try too hard to be even a percentage of how good this movie is without even trying.

01. Psycho (Alfred Hitchcock, 1960)
I never thought of Psycho as a horror movie until very recently, and when it donned on me that Psycho is, in fact, probably the grandfather of every other horror movie in existence, well, how could I not re-arrange my list to make Psycho number one? Without Psycho there would be no Halloween, no A Nightmare on Elm Street, no Scream. Alfred Hitchcock absolutely revolutionized the way films were made. He paid for Psycho from his own wallet because everyone thought the movie was "too dirty." He killed his lead actress off in the first 30 minutes (notice similarities to Scream??). Psycho may not be as scary as some of these other films, but it most certainly stays with you in a big way. And if you think about it long enough, you can see its DNA in every other horror film that came after.

Horror Movie Month: Guilty Pleasures & Good Finds

The Loved Ones
The Stars: Xavier Samuel, Robin McLeavy
The Plot: A shy teenager asks the boy of her dreams to an end of the year dance. When he says no (he's got a girlfriend!), she and her equally psychotic father decide to kidnap him, hold him hostage, and torture him instead.
The Scares: This movie isn't scary so much as intense. And it is super intense. It's also very gory and violent. And artistic as hell! Some of the shots in this movie are so strikingly beautiful that it makes the violence feel like a gut punch even more. I know I sit through a lot of bad horror movies, especially this time of year, but it's almost worth it to find something like this, something so original and daring and borderline crazy, but also gorgeous. Also, I know this is an independent Australian film that got, probably, not much attention but McLeavy is so damn great. Her performance could easily have crossed that thin line over to the side of campy, but it never does. She is perfection. P.S. Xavier Samuel might be the prettiest boy I have ever seen in my whole life.
The Body Count: 8 humans and 1 dog (which somehow, seeing animals die in movies make me so much sadder than humans, maybe because I know the humans are all actors, but dogs are dogs, you know?)
The Grade: B

House of Wax
The Stars: Elisha Cuthbert, Chad Michael Murray, Paris Hilton (!!)
The Plot: A group of friends en route to a football game stumble into a super creepy, mostly abandoned town whose center piece is said House of Wax.
The Scares: No. This movie is not scary at all, but somehow I like it a hell of a lot more than I should. House of Wax is a total guilty pleasure movie for me. I think it has a lot to do with Paris Hilton's gloriously bad acting. Her acting is so bad that it is deliciously good. Maybe it's because I don't take this movie as seriously as I should and, to me, it is just a giant, big, campy, fun movie. I don't know, but I most definitely love Paris Hilton so much in this movie that it almost hurts.
The Body Count: 6.
The Grade: A very generous C

Scream
The Stars: Drew Barrymore, Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, David Arquette, Skeet Ulrich
The Plot: A masked killer with a serious love of horror movies targets a group of teenagers one year after the death of one of their mothers.
The Scares: I already discussed how this is the greatest movie of the last twenty years. This movie probably scared me at the time. Now, not so much. But that doesn't make it any less smart, clever and witty.
The Body Count: 7.
The Grade: A-

Horror Movie Month: Carrie

The Stars: Chloe Grace Moretz, Ansel Elgort, Judy Greer, Julianne Moore

The Plot: A shy, strange teenager is bullied by a group of her classmates while also discovering she has kinetic powers. Needless to say, a horrible prank at the school prom climaxes in a bloodbath.

I'm going to go ahead and be brutally honest for a minute: Growing up, I was bullied to nearly my breaking point and around this time I discovered the original Carrie, starring Sissy Spacek. While I didn't exactly want to kill any of my tormentors, Carrie did sort of become my hero, because how I wished and wished I had powers that would make these jerks suffer. So, the original Carrie is sort of special to me. I guess it's hard to remake a movie that is so iconic, but I'm also not completely against it. I mean, we get different versions of Shakespeare every few years, so why should Stephen King be any different, really? The problem with remaking a movie, however, is that everyone knows exactly what happens. It takes away from any sort of anticipation. So, you better do something really special with the movie in order to compensate. Director Kimberly Peirce does nothing at all special here. The movie doesn't really get good until the last twenty minutes or so (and star Moretz looks so good and creepy during the scenes when she is so covered with blood, even her eyes are red). Up until then, it's just a boring movie that we've all seen before. I was most worried about Moretz. I know Spacek was way too old to play a teenager in the original Carrie, and Moretz is only 16 or whatever, but she's also too pretty and perfect to ever know what being bullied actually feels like. However, I was sort of impressed with her. She does an absolutely great job as Carrie. In fact, the acting all around is superb, especially from new find Elgort (this is his first movie and he's following it up with two super anticipated YA adaptations: Divergent and The Fault in Our Stars), and Moore, of course, who steals the entire movie. But did anyone expect any less from Moore as Margaret White?

The Scares: Carrie was never a scary movie, per se. It was more a suspense movie, I guess. Although the original movie did have one really great scare. This version, unfortunately, doesn't use that moment, or even re-imagine it in any way.

The Body Count: So many, some more deserving than others!

The Grade: C

Friday Top Five / Horror Movie Month: The Last Twenty Years

If you're a fan of horror, then you know horror's hey-day was in the last 60's and early 70's. Next week, I will be presenting my ultimate Top Five list, my favorite horror movies of all time. But I felt it sort of unfair to more recent movies. There have been good horror movies recently, so I decided this week, to focus on my five best from the last twenty years.

05. Trick 'r Treat (Michael Dougherty, 2007)
A group of interwoven stories take place on Halloween night involving a high school principal, a group of teenagers searching for the ghosts of a school bus accident and a naive young woman. All of these are wrapped together with the presence of Jack, a seemingly small boy whose head is wrapped in a sort of burlap sack. He might be the cutest movie psychopath of all time. This is the sort of movie that absolutely captures the feeling of Halloween: traditions and urban legends and creepy tones. It's a refreshing film, and, of course, Anna Paquin is in it and I sort of love her!

04. High Tension (Alexandre Aja, 2003)
Cecile de France is bad ass! As Maria, one of two college pals who encounter, let's say, problems while visiting parents, she is a bad ass heroine if there ever was one. She may be a take on the final girl, but she's also more bad ass than just about any final girl ever. This movie has an old school feel. It could have been made in the 60's. It is uncompromising and absolutely relentless. Once the action starts, it never lets up, never lets you catch your breath. People who have seen this movie have a problem with the ending, but I don't. While it doesn't work perfectly, I think it's such a great twist, that I can forgive its clumsy feel. Word of warning: this movie is French and subtitled, but totally worth it.

03. House of 1000 Corpses (Rob Zombie, 2003)
When Rob Zombie first came on the scene as a horror movie director, I rejoiced. He seemingly loved horror movies as much (or more!) than I do. His first two films were absolutely fantastic. Then he made two misguided and terrible Halloween remakes. Then there was this year's terrible, like worst movie I've EVER seen terrible, Lords of Salem. A director should get better with time, not worse. Or maybe his first film, House of 1000 Corpses, was a fluke. Sure, it's sort of a rip off of Texas Chainsaw Massacre (at least until that balls to the wall, crazy ending), but it's still genuinely crazy and frightening. It's a shame he went downhill so fast as a director, because this movie is awesome and shows so much promise. At least we can enjoy this movie for years to come!

02. Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (Scott Glosserman, 2006)
An absolutely original take on horror movies, Behind the Mask asks what if Michael Meyers and Jason Vorhees were real guys? What if someone, Leslie Vernon perhaps, grew up emulating them and wanting to be just like them? What if he decided to ask a camera crew to follow him around as he prepared for an epic murder spree? You know, those guys don't just happen upon houses of partying teenagers. The windows don't open in that pivotal moment because they've been staked out before hand, nailed down. These guys think of everything! It may sound jokey and cheesy but it's not. The first two thirds is so creative, and then the final act turns in to your typical slasher movie kill fest with a great twist. Bonus points for getting Robert Englund, Freddy Kruger himself!, to play the Dr. Loomis type hero of the film!

01. Scream (Wes Craven, 1996)
Scream was both the rebirth and the death of the modern horror movie. It came out of nowhere at a time when horror movies were lame and over. It was the smartest horror movie in a long time, featuring an iconic director and young, no name stars who would soon be famous. Scream was so good that, soon, everyone wanted to make horror movies. The bad part was that none of them were as good as Scream. Scream is great because it manages to be a terrifying slasher movie that is fully aware of every movie that came before it. These kids know all about horror movies, spent their formative years watching Halloween and Terror Train. They know the dos and don'ts of horror movies and to some extent, all of this is a joke to them. Of course, the body count is very real and eventually they have to live through scenes eerily similar to the ones they've watched in movies for so long. This movie was revolutionary; full of pop culture reference, killing off its star, the only name actor in the movie!, in first fifteen minutes. This movie is beyond clever and just endlessly re-watchable. It's a scream!

Horror Movie Month: More Bad Horror Movies...

I think it's time to stop taking recommendations from friends on Facebook, and just go back to the classics. So far my Netflix horror movies this year have been disappointing at best.

V/H/S/2
The Stars: Adam Wingard
The Plot: Much like the original (read: superior) V/H/S, this film revolves around people searching for something and finding a collection of creepy VHS tapes instead. In the first (read: good) film, it was a group of kids who break into a mansion. Here it is a pair of private detectives searching for a missing student. Said VHS tapes contain a few different short films, none of which hold a candle to anything in the original (read: better) film.
The Scares: There is nothing here that even holds a candle to one of the shorts in the original featuring a couple on a tourist-y vacation which still gives me nightmares when I think about it. The best part of this film is the wrap around narrative, i.e. the part with the detectives which opens and closes the film and which is interspersed into the shorts. It's merely the set up, but it's the best thing about the movie, which is sort of sad. Instead of featuring shorts that are genuinely chilling, this features vignettes about aliens, zombies and men that don't blink.
The Body Count: When one of the shorts is called "Slumber Party Alien Abduction" and there's another featuring a slew of zombies raiding a BBQ, it's sort of hard to keep track.
The Grade: C-, and that's sort of generous.

The Collection
The Stars: Josh Stewart, Emma Fitzpatrick
The Plot: A man escapes the clutches of a crazy serial killer, only to return to the horrific hotel where he was held when the family of a missing girl blackmails him into leading him to the killer.
The Scares: There was one moment which was super scary, but when your movie is 90 minutes long and you have 10 seconds of frights, it's not boding well.
MY CONFUSION: Someone explain to me how this has anything, ANYTHING, to do with The Collector, from a few years ago, which stars Stewart as the same exact character, but to my memory, has nothing to do with anything.
The Body Count: Again, when they kill off HUNDREDS of people in the first ten minutes, it's hard to keep track.
The Grade: C

Silent Hill: Revelation
The Stars: Adelaide Clemens, Sean Bean, Kit Harington (which is apparently Jon Snow from Game of Thrones real name, but if it's okay with everyone, I'm just going to continue to call him Jon Snow)
The Plot: A young girl who thinks she is on the run from the cops after her father killed a man discovers that it's not the cops but a secret order from the creepy town of Silent Hill who are hot on her tail. Seems she is needed in Silent Hill to defeat evil, or escalate evil, or do something. I don't entirely know. This movie was whack.
The Scares: Nope. Just stupid with all kinds of creepy monsters and stuff. I mean, Jon Snow wasn't even in it that much and he's literally the only reason I was watching it. Also, Silent Hill is loosely based on a town near where I live, that's been burning underground for decades, so I always found that interesting. Sadly, that sentence is more interesting than anything in this movie.
The Body Count: One that I can recall but I pretty much stopped paying attention whenever Jon Snow wasn't on screen.
The Grade: D- (and it's not an F because Jon Snow took his shirt off for a few seconds, which is more than he does on Game of Thrones since they have him in snow covered, freezing cold temperatures at all times, which is pretty aggravating for me... send him to somewhere tropical to be a guard!!!).

Captain Phillips

If you've seen the movie Zero Dark Thirty then you have to remember the way director Kathryn Bigelow managed to control the breathing and heart rate of the audience during that epic Navy Seals raid sequence near the end? Now imagine that for an entire two hours, because that's what the director of Captain Phillips, Paul Greengrass, accomplishes throughout just about the entire two hours. Captain Phillips is just about as intense start to finish as any movie I've ever seen. The thrilling, cat and mouse scenario is only made more intense because this is based entirely on a true story.

This film is obviously the story of Captain Phillips (Tom Hanks) who is set to take a cargo ship with food and water through Somalian waters to deliver the goods to African families and villages in need. The captain receives email warnings of pirate activity off the coast of Somalia but he prepares his crew by running drills and continues with their route. Of course, soon they are being attacked by a group of Somalian men led by Muse (Barkhad Abdi). The first time they try to board the ship, they manage to outsmart them, but they come back and soon they are on the ship and taking over, looking for money. What ensues on the ship is the most tense thing I've seen on a movie screen this year. The movie is so intense at times, I could literally feel my heart thumping in my chest. After the time on the ship, the men take Phillips hostage on a lifeboat, and the film loses a bit of its intensity. They become embroiled in a stand off with the Navy which can't really end well for anyone. And while the film may lose its intensity A BIT during these scenes, it never stops being a good movie.

Most of this, of course, is thanks to Tom Hanks who is so damn good here. After seeing Gravity last week, I thought about how Sandra Bullock and George Clooney are two of the most likable actors in Hollywood, well, Hanks may be THE most likable. His Captain Phillips is strict but affable, a family man and a hero. He is so understated and subdued throughout the first two/thirds of the movie but during those last twenty minutes on screen, when all the pent up emotion of this heroic man is released, he goes after that third Oscar hard. And a nomination is surely in his future. As I said earlier, the movie also succeeds because of Greengrass and his edge of your seat directing style. You are absolutely riveted from beginning to end and that is no easy task for a movie based on facts that people are familiar with. If you remember this being all over the news, then you know how it ends, but that makes no difference here, because you still won't be able to take your eyes off the screen. The final piece of the puzzle is Abdi as Muse. This man has never acted before in his entire life. He's a revelation. He manages to make his character Muse terrifying yet fused with so much humanity that his performance is both frightening and heartbreaking. He also has explosive chemistry with Hanks and the two go toe-to-toe quite well, which I think is just another thing that's great about Hanks' performance. He could have easily stolen the entire film and made it all about him, but he managed to help this nobody guy acting for the first time turn out a great performance as well. It helps make the movie so much more than it could have been.

I haven't been quiet about the fact that movies this year are disappointing me left and right. But Captain Phillips is a definite exception. It is a thrilling, taut suspense film that is definitely worth checking out since, as of right now, it's one of the best of the year.

Grade: B+

Friday Top Five / Horror Movie Month: Best Sequels and Remakes

I know the words "sequel" and "remake" are negative words to most people. These days, it seems just about every other movie released is one or the other. But they aren't all bad. Since I'm trying to stick with horror themed posts this month (and I really wanted to do Top Five Tom Hanks movies because of Captain Phillips, but that will have to wait), I've decided to focus on the best horror movie remakes or sequels.

05. Evil Dead (Fede Alvarez, 2013)
The first Evil Dead movie starring Bruce Campbell and directed by Sam Raimi is revered as an achievement in DIY filmmaking. It spawned two sequels and is considered one of the most effective horror movies of its time. Still, it doesn't really do it for me. Is it funny? Is it scary? Is it just buckets of gore? This year's re-imagining, if you will, is everything the first movie isn't and then some. It's terrifying and full of genuinely great performances, namely Jane Levy and Lou Taylor Pucci. The only movies I think you should remake are movies that aren't that great to begin with. You take the things that worked and transform the new film into something that pays homage but is better, fixing the problems of the original. That's this film in a nutshell.

04. Scream 2 (Wes Craven, 1997)
The original Scream trilogy is pretty great although it falters a bit in the third film. The second film, however, keeps alive the spirit of the first - with it's witty banter and dialogue, great performances and cast chemistry. Maybe the reason the third film isn't quite up to par is because screenwriter Kevin Williamson didn't write it, but he did write this and you can tell. This sequel finds our heroine Sydney and her friends in college where the terror continues! Of course, you can't quite recreate the magic of the original Scream, but this sequel comes pretty close.

03. The Last House on the Left (Dennis Iliadis, 2009)
Confession: I don't watch Breaking Bad anymore, but I used to. I remember watching this movie in theaters on a Sunday evening and then going home and watching an episode of Breaking Bad where Jesse Pinkman is getting his ass beat. I thought it was some sort of karmic justice because in The Last House on the Left, Aaron Paul plays a pretty sketchy guy. Of course, he gets what's coming to him, as everyone does in a tale of revenge. Director Dennis Iliadis approached making this horror movie like it was an art house film, so it's brutal violence, sure, but interspersed with such beautiful images that it makes the violence that much more effective. A big step up from Wes Craven's original.

02. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (Steve Miner, 1998)
I've always had a soft spot for this Halloween sequel that picks up the strands of the first film and acts as though films 3, 4 and 5 never even existed. Sure, it's not the best movie ever made. And, of course, it's nowhere near as good as the original, but it's still a great story, I think. We find Jamie Lee Curtis' Laurie with a changed name working at a prep school in the middle of nowhere, hiding from her crazy brother, trying to protect her son. Of course, Michael will always find her. The ending with the two of them is sort of heartbreaking but also completely perfect. (Obviously, subsequent movies ruined the end, but try not to think about that!). Oh, and this movie also features Michelle Williams and Joseph Gordon-Levitt). (And LL Cool J, but try not to think about that either).

01. The Hills Have Eyes (Alexandre Aja, 2006)
I once had a working theory that directors could only successfully remake Wes Craven movies. But, of course, the terrible Nightmare on Elm Street reboot totally blew that theory out of the water. Still, The Hill Have Eyes is an absolute great remake, one that is scary as hell but also has characters that we genuinely care about. I remember being blown away when I saw it in theaters and I still get chills every time I watch it. Aja, who also directed the wonderful High Tension, is a modern horror master and this film is the best remake I can think of.

Horror Movie Month: The Last Exorcism Part II / Chernobyl Diaries

The Last Exorcism Part II
The Stars: Ashley Bell
The Plot: After the events of the chilling and surprisingly well done original, Nell has been living in the woods live a rabid animal. She eventually moves into a home for troubled girls where she tries to move on from her possession and have a normal life, but of course, the demon isn't quite done with her.
The Scares: Besides the cold open, this movie is the absolute opposite of scary. The first five minutes or so are pretty creepy but then it just proceeds to become more and more stupid. I actually kind of liked the first movie. I thought it was pretty creative and creepy, but, once again, people can't leave well enough alone. If you make a decent movie that makes a lot of money, of course, you have to make a crappy sequel with none of the charm or scares of the first.
The Body Count: I have no idea. It may or may not be five. A lot of people seemingly come back to life. And then there is a fire at the end where everyone may or may not die.
The Grade: F

Chernobyl Diaries
The Stars: Jesse McCartney (!!!), Jonathan Sadowski, Devin Kelley
The Plot: A group of friends backpacking through Europe decide to do a bit of "extreme tourism" which includes taking a rickety old van to a now deserted town (or is it??) right next to the Chernobyl reactors.
The Scares: If nothing else about this movie, the set design is crazy good. The film makers have managed to create a very creepy empty town and that's a definite plus for the movie. But the movie isn't so bad either, even if it's not necessarily scary. The best decision they make is to not show us whatever creatures are moving around in the night until the very end. I hate when movies show you some sort of stupid looking monster or whatever half way through. It totally ruins it for me. I'd rather spend the movie not knowing what is after the characters. I find it more scary and effective and Chernobyl Diaries gets that right, at least.
The Body Count: 7
The Grade: C+

Gravity

I feel like I should almost write two separate reviews for Gravity because I have such warring thoughts about the film. On one hand, it is such a visual, technical achievement that I want to heap tons of praise on it, but on the other - that script, or lack thereof.

The opening thirty minutes or so of Gravity are spectacular. They are mind boggling, spellbinding, and glorious. Director Alfonso Cuaron has managed to create a world that is so absolutely epic and wondrous that it blows your mind. This is brave new world of film-making, right here. The future is now and Cuaron has managed to craft a film that is technically perfect. It brings you into the wonder of space (which, I'm sorry, but shit is terrifying. I don't know why anyone would ever want to go to space) and manages to create a film that is rebellious, revolutionary, minimalist and epic all at the same time. The beginning of this film is so far and away from a mainstream sci-fi movie that it feels jarring. This is an art house film with crazy good CGI. Sure, it stars Sandra Bullock and George Clooney, two of the most famous and most likable people in acting, but other than that, this doesn't feel like that kind of star studded film. Bullock is a genius doctor, in space reluctantly to attach a protocol she has invented to a satellite. She is terribly uncomfortable and sick in space, which juxtaposes nicely with Clooney and his retiring astronaut who loves space so much and just wants to brake the space walk world record. Soon, debris from a nearby satellite mishap is flying around them and all hell breaks loose. Hell is not aliens in space. No, hell is drifting all alone into the endless blackness with no radio contact and absolutely no knowledge of how the hell you are going to survive. Of course, Bullock's Ryan does survive this thanks to Clooney saving her ass. The two make their way back toward the International Space Station, and that's when the move sort of lost me.

Those first thirty minutes or so are as damn near perfect as one could get in film-making. It's epic to watch, an absolute wonder, like you are seeing something for the first time. I kept thinking to myself, "My Lord. This is the best movie of the year by a mile." But then something happens. The first act relies so heavily on out of this world imagery and visuals and the direction, cinematography and camera work is so damn great, that it fools you into thinking you are watching a better movie than you really are. I am not saying Gravity is not a good movie, because it definitely is. But it's no masterpiece of movie making. It is a visual masterpiece, a technical one. But, as far as movies go, the lack of attention paid to the script really starts to be noticeable as you get further into the movie. And the movie just sort of continually gets worse. The first act is perfection. The second act is not so bad, especially the fake out ending which I sort of enjoyed. Then the final act is almost atrocious. The ending panders so much toward making sure the audience is happy with it, that it is sort of insulting. Where is the rebellious spirit of the first act?? It's long gone by the time we reach our conclusion, such a watered down thing that it really left a bad taste in my mouth. Which is not how I wanted to feel leaving this movie, especially after the powerhouse first act.

Another problem are the characters that aren't entirely fleshed out. Another by-product of spending all your waking moments on visual effects is that you lose the characters. The role Clooney plays isn't that large so he can get by on his charm alone. But Bullock has to carry this film and I'm not quite sure she does. It's not her fault. She is tremendous with what she has to work with and her performance especially gets great near the end. There is a ten or fifteen minute scene where I figure she has her second Oscar all wrapped up. Still, her character is weighted down with some sob sad back story to make her more likable, but all it really does it lend a cheesy sort of factor to the film. Why can't she just be a smart, strong woman? Why does she have to have this back story pushing her the whole movie? Again, to pander to a mainstream audience, probably.

For me, to enjoy Gravity from start to finish, you almost have to not think about it as a movie, and maybe think of it as an experience. The story and the characters take a back seat to the visuals here, and maybe that's okay for some. But since I'm talking movies here, it's not exactly ideal. I sincerely wish the entire movie had been more like the first thirty minutes, because those were the best moments I saw on a movie screen this year.

Grade: B

Friday Top Five / Horror Movie Month: Final Girls

Every October, I try to focus entirely on watching only horror movies at home. Obviously, if I go see something in theaters, I can't always stick to this code, but my Netflix queue is currently full of horror movies, some I've seen before and want to re-watch, others via recommendation of my other horror movie loving friends, some I've missed over the years. I figured for my Friday Top Fives this month, I would stick to horror movie related topics. The first is Final Girls. In case you don't know what that is, it's pretty self-explanatory. The final girl is the girl that survives the killer in a horror movie. Sometimes she's a bad ass right from the start (see: You're Next and Alien), and sometimes she starts out terrified and afraid and finds a way to conquer her fears and make it out alive anyway (see: just about every other horror movie). So, here is my list of the best.

05. Nancy Thompson (Heather Langenkamp in A Nightmare on Elm Street, 1984)
You may remember Langenkamp as the brainy sister on Just the 10 of Us (and if you remember that TV show, one of my faves growing up, then kudos to you!), but her claim to fame is starring as Nancy, the teen whose dreams become haunted by burn victim / psychopath Freddy Kruger. Along with her boyfriend (a young, sexy Johnny Depp), and friends, Nancy tries to figure out who Freddy is and also tries to stay awake for days at a time. But sleep will always catch up with you and so will Freddy! It's no secret that A Nightmare on Elm Street is not one of my favorite horror movie franchises, but Nancy is a great heroine - she's smart yet vulnerable, strong yet frightened.

04. Sydney Prescott (Neve Campbell in Scream, 1996)
Sydney is a new kind of final girl - the kind that is so much smarter than everything around her. She exists in a self-aware universe, one where you have seen all the movies that came before and you know the rules and it's more like a game than anything else. Campbell is fantastic as Sydney in the original Scream, a girl who is looked at as a victim (she's already been through the ringer with her mom's death) but is so much tougher than she lets on. She gets tougher yet in the subsequent sequels, and by Scream 3, she is a bonafide bad-ass.

03. Sally Hardesty (Marilyn Burns in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, 1974)
Sally may have had it the worst. Not only does she have to put up with her super annoying brother for the entire trip through the hot Texas sun, but also she has to endure the world's worst dinner party when she is the guest of honor at a dinner held by Leatherface and his family of even crazier psychopaths. But Sally is a survivor as she jumps through a window and runs and runs and runs until she can't run anymore. By the time she escapes in the back of a pick up truck, she may be free but she's also covered in blood and possibly (probably) insane.

02. Lila Crane (Vera Miles in Psycho, 1960)
If Psycho is the original horror movie, then Lila Crane is the original final girl. Vera is the smart as a whip sister to the much more flippant and irresponsible Marion. While Marion doesn't think twice about sleeping with married men and stealing money and running away to stay at the creepiest of all motels, Lila spends the movie searching for her sister and braving the creepy innkeeper and his overbearing "mother" at the Bates Motel. If every horror movie stems from the DNA of Psycho, then every final girl has a little bit of Lila in them.

01. Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween, 1978)
And then there is THE SCREAM QUEEN. The one and only. The best. Jamie Lee as Laurie in Halloween is the epitome of the final girl. Ignore all the mythology that gets heaped upon this franchise as it grows, in the original Halloween, Laurie was just a pretty, quiet, smart girl who becomes the obsession of a masked and escaped killer. Jamie Lee was a nobody when she starred as the deep voiced girl who would rather spend the night babysitting than getting drunk and having wild sex with some random boy. Jamie Lee's Laurie changed the perception of the Final Girl and became the icon every final girl that followed wanted to be so badly.