Worst Films of 2017

05. The Glass Castle - While reading this back way back when, I found it difficult enough to suspend disbelief and believe that these things really happened. (I still believe it is a memoir VERY loosely based on reality). However, watching the movie makes it even harder to believe that all of this is true. And while the writing in the book is good enough to create three dimensional characters that you care about, the movie cuts every one down to a cliche stereotype. Here is Jeanette - shrill and annoying. Here is her mom - crazy and a doormat. Here is her father - asshole. It's not so cut and dry in the book. This movie was so infuriating to me, that it made me do something that I never thought would ever be possible - it made me momentarily not like Woody Harrelson.

04. The Bad Batch - Ana Lily Amirpour's first film A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night is a visually stunning, low key masterpiece in mood and style. Her follow up film, The Bad Batch, is visual as well, but is so much style and not even a little bit of substance. This cannibals and cult apocalypse think piece has absolutely no story line and is just one weird encounter after another after another with an acid trip thrown in for good measure. Even Keanu Reeves playing a cult leader can't save this disaster of a movie.

03. The Bye Bye Man - Another year, another string of terrible horror movies. This one is about a boogeyman that will haunt and murder you if you even think about him. If you think that is an imaginative concept for a movie, you would be wrong.

02. Rings - And the terrible horror movies continue, this time with an ill-conceived, decades too late, reboot of The Ring that no one asked for or wanted. Starring Leonard from The Big Bang Theory, it's so bad that I remember literally nothing about it, thank goodness.

01. Woodshock - Yes, the other movies listed here may be bad, but Woodshock is something even worse than bad - it's downright boring. Like, unable to even stand watching it boring. Like, I spent an hour and a half watching this movie and it felt like a lifetime boring. Like, I don't even care if Val Kilmer's cute son is in it because this movie is so boring, boring.

Next week - The best of 2017!!!