Worst Films 2019

Back from my year long exile to post my best and worst of the year. I'll be updating from now until the end of the year with my best lists, but first let's get the worst of the year out of the way.

05. Dark Phoenix - Arguably the best story line in an X-Men comic, Dark Phoenix should have been the crowning achievement in a dying franchise. Following the catastrophic fall to the dark side for one time hero Jean Grey, and featuring returning series MVP's Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy, the movie version somehow falls terribly short. Newcomer Jessica Chastain does her best to elevate this mess, but ultimately the movie suffers from a convoluted plot line, messy action sequences, and a number of actors phoning it in (not mentioning any names **cough cough** Jennifer Lawrence). But the biggest mistake of all comes with the casting of young Jean Grey. I've only seen Sophie Turner on Game of Thrones and was holding out criticism of her acting (because Game of Thrones isn't really known for it's writing or acting), but it's possible she may be the least interesting, more boring actor alive. Someone with a little more intensity, or star power, could have helped make this movie at least watchable. Turner isn't that actor.

04. Serenity - SPOILER ALERT - See if you can keep up with me and this plot overview - Matthew McConaughey is a fisherman obsessed with capturing a large tuna. His ex-wife (a completely over the top Anne Hathaway) returns to entice him into killing her abusive new husband (Jason Clarke, who I somehow love even in this mess, even as a terrible person). Also, a creepy Kendall Roy is following him around and walking into the ocean in his suit. And Diane Lane is there, being needy and seductive. The big twist?? This is all a video game being played by an abused little boy. I know, I know. It's all as bizarre and ridiculous as it sounds.

03. Isn't it Romantic - No, no, it is not.

02. Cold Pursuit - Remember when Liam Neeson starred as a bad ass with a particular skill set who traversed the globe to avenge the kidnapping of his daughter? It was a high octane, thrilling, action movie that revitalized his career and was carried along by his movie star charisma and a relatively simple, but appealing plot. Well, this is about a snow plow driver who has to avenge the death of his junkie son and it lacks any of the charm, likability or thrills of the eerily similar Taken. Skip this. Watch Taken again.

01. Under the Silver Lake - This movie contains the following: a dog murderer, a pop band called Jesus and the Brides of Dracula, an underground comic book artist, characters called the "Owl Woman" and the "Homeless King", wealthy men faking their death and "ascending" to live in bunkers with three wives, and a talking squirrel. If any of this sounds appealing to you, then be my guest. I thought it was going to be pleasantly weird and wonderful as well. Turns out, it's just a mess.

Interstellar

Interstellar is a lot like Game of Thrones in so much as I almost never know what the hell is going on, but damn if I don't enjoy it for the most part.

Interstellar takes place in dust bowl America. We are slowly running out of food, so a group of scientists travel into space to find a habitable planet for us to move to. That is the most basic plot of the film, and I'm not really going to get into a whole lot more because wormholes and relativity and science!  Here is the thing about Interstellar - it's two-thirds of a damn good Sci fi movie. Even if you can't always understand what is happening, you can just give in and have fun with a movie like this. My major problem with Interstellar is the last act. The absolute bizarre nature of the third act us just off putting. I know I've seen this a month later than everyone else, but I still don't want to give away any spoilers.  Let's just say my major problem is the fifth dimension book shelf. It just takes away from the awesome Sci fi movie you just spent nearly three hours watching.

If the final act of the script sort of falls apart right before your eyes, the rest of the movie more than makes up for it. The visual effects are absolutely dazzling and breath taking. Christopher Nolan directs the hell out of this movie. He wears his inspiration on his sleeve, and you can see he's trying to make his own 2001: A Space Odyssey. I mean, if you are going to pay homage to space movies, might as well try to take after the best. It never gets there, of course, but it is striking and beautifully shot. It is epic, but also works as a beautiful parable about the love between fathers and daughters.  The score of the movie is stunning as well, but I actually really enjoyed the absence of music, those few moments which were filled with profound silence.

The performances, of course, are top notch. Matthew McConaughey plays Cooper, an engineer and farmer who leaves his children on Earth to travel to space to help save them. He continues the upswing of his career, in which he proves he has so much more talent than anyone could have imagined during his rom-com days. Anne Hathaway plays the appropriately named Amelia, a NASA scientist. I am not a fan of hers so the nicest thing I can say is that she didn't annoy me too much! John Lithgow and Michael Caine are solid in supporting roles. (Side note: Am I allowed to talk about the big surprise cameo yet?? I guess not, but the actor who plays Dr. Mann was a nice surprise and also absolutely wonderful in his small role.) For me, the MVP's are the actors who play Cooper's grown children. Because of relativity and black holes and whatever, Cooper doesn't age in space, but his children do on Earth. Jessica Chastain and Casey Affleck are great in these roles. Affleck continues to be an under appreciated actor. He brings a silent rage to his role, while Chastain is just mesmerizing to watch, as always. She is angry and brilliant and lovely and layered and just a joy to watch. She is one of the most exciting actresses we have and it is always a pleasure to watch her, even in a flawed movie.

Because Interstellar is flawed. It is epic and stunning and enjoyable. It is also complicated and murky and ridiculous. If Interstellar had a better third act, it could have been one of the all time greats.  Instead, it's merely a visual effects driven enjoyable movie.

Grade: B

Best Lead Actor 2013

Honorable Mention - Michael B. Jordan in Fruitvale Station, Oscar Issac in Inside Llewyn Davis.

05. Tom Hanks in Captain Phillips - For much of Captain Phillips running time, Tom Hanks is a consummate professional. As the captain of a sailing vessel overtaken by Somali pirates, its his job to remain calm. And he does so. He is the essence of calm, cool and collected. He is a heroic man who does everything in his power to save his crew. He is smart and savvy, an ordinary man put in extraordinary circumstances. And then we get to the final ten minutes or so, when Captain Phillips is rescued from his ordeal and finally takes it all in and goes in to shock. In that moment, Hanks rips your heart out. His performance to that point is so subtle and refined, and then he lets his emotions pour out of every fiber of his being. That scene alone is worthy of Oscar number 3 for Hanks.

04. Chiwetel Ejiofor in 12 Years a Slave - The power of this years male performances is this: any other year Ejiofor would get my top honors. His performance is incendiary, a revelation, a star making performance. But this year has been a great year for male performances, supporting and lead, and Ejiofor has dropped a few spots from the number 2 position he held for months. That's not to take anything away from his heart breaking performance as a free man, kidnapped and sold into slavery. His performance has such an urgency, an intensity that makes it shine. This is a very special performance and, although the film is difficult to watch at times, its more than worth it for the performances alone.

03. Joaquin Phoenix in Her - When you think joyful, jovial, sweet, good-natured, and adorable, the first actor that comes to your mind is probably not Joaquin Phoenix. But he is all those things in Her, and so much more. I think Joaquin Phoenix, like Casey Affleck, is one of the most underrated actors working today. Phoenix completely loses himself inside his characters and you never, ever get the sense that you are watching an actor play a part. This is a 180 degree turn from his performance in The Master last year, and its hard to believe that the same man could play two vastly different characters. But in Her, Phoenix is absolutely stunning, and the fact is, he's mostly acting by himself. He has very few scene partners. It's mostly just him which makes it all the more impressive. Bonus points for those super sweet dance moves near the end!

02. Leonardo DiCaprio in The Wolf of Wall Street - Speaking of dance moves! Leo has got some sweet ones in The Wolf of Wall Street. But besides dancing, this is a side of DiCaprio we have never, ever seen before. He absolutely unleashes a part of himself that is so far removed from Jack Dawson and Romeo and Billy Corrigan. As the drug addicted, sex maniac, party animal owner of a Wall Street stock company in the late 80's and early 90's, this is a completely free, fun, uncontrollable, ferocious Leonardo DiCaprio. He has swagger, he snorts coke off of hookers asses, he does physical comedy, he does nudity, he does James Brown dance moves, he is bigger than life. It's an epic, masters class in acting, and possibly the best thing he's ever done, or ever will do.

01. Matthew McConaughey in Dallas Buyers Club - For me, the movie Dallas Buyers Club had some flaws, but those flaws in no way included the performances, especially McConaughey as a good ole' Texas boy who is homophobic and hateful and misogynistic and, basically, a terrible person, until he gets diagnosed with AIDS and becomes the most unlikely of crusaders. His friendship with transvestite with a heart of gold Rayon (Jared Leto) humanizes him, and his crusade for the health of AIDS patients everywhere makes him heroic. But this isn't a movie about dying so much as its a movie about living, and McConaughey imbibes his character with so much life that it seems nothing can extinguish him. It's an amazing performance and just the latest in this brand new exciting phase of McConaughey's career. The icon of my life Liza Manelli recently said that if McConaughey doesn't win an Oscar, she'll give him hers. Here's hoping we don't have to resort to those drastic measures.

The Wolf of Wall Street

Were you ever at a party or a bar or where you were sober or mostly sober? The people around you are drunk as hell and they are super fun and amusing. At least for a little while. Perhaps for the first two and a half hours, or so. Then you just want to get the hell out of there as quick as you can because amusing drunks turn to sloppy and annoying drunks real quick. If I had one criticism of Martin Scorsese's The Wolf of Wall Street, it would be that. It's perhaps a bit too long. We could have done with one less scene of debauchery. There are two scenes in particular that could have been cut completely, or at the very least trimmed. I did read an article online that tried to make the argument that the three hour running time further illustrates the point of the movie, which is all about excess. That's an interesting theory, but I still think the movie would have been a tad better if it was cut down just a tad.

That being said, The Wolf of Wall Street is a goddamn great film. It's not about wolves, or even Wall Street really. This movie is about drugs. Or more particularly, addiction - addiction to drugs, addiction to sex, but mostly addiction to money. Leonardo DiCaprio plays Jordan Belfort and when we meet him he's young and impressionable, fresh faced and eager to please. At lunch with his very first boss and mentor (Matthew McConaughey, in the movie for only about twenty minutes, but I'll be damned if he doesn't steal every one of those twenty minutes), he refuses to drink alcohol, wonders how his boss can snort coke at lunch and then go right back to work. Flash forward a few years, and Jordan is running his own firm, doing a lot of shady, questionably moral / legal dealings and getting ridiculously, crazy, stupid rich. Like, so rich that he at one point wads up a hundred dollar bill and throws it in the garbage. He has so much money he doesn't know what to do with it all. So he gets himself a trophy wife. And a fancy mansion. And a lot of cars. And a yacht. And a helicopter. And a pretty outrageous drug habit (he claims he does so many drugs in one day that he could treat all of Manhattan for a month). The parties and the brazen disregard for any sort of normal life is all so outrageous that you wouldn't even believe it... if it weren't all absolutely true. And it is. Every thing that happens in this movie is true, which makes it all the more crazy. Eventually, Jordan gets what's coming to him, but not before he sleeps with tons of hookers, throws a midget at a human sized dart board, takes an orgy filled trip to Vegas and manages to sink a boat off the coast of Italy. This movie is wild!

With the exception of The Departed, Leonardo DiCaprio has never, never been better. I read an article where the author suggested its because he isn't needy, and has no desire to have the audience like his character. Maybe this is true. I think it's because he's never been so free. When was the last time DiCaprio looked like he's having fun in a movie? He is completely uninhabited, going places he has never gone before. He dances (and the ten or fifteen seconds where he dances at his wedding are, I think, the best goddamn ten seconds in all of film in the entire year)! He does physical comedy! He struts around and preens like the cock of the walk! He is having the time of his life playing this despicable douchebag and he's so unbelievably charming that you almost want Jordan to get away with all the terrible things he's done. Almost. DiCaprio isn't the only stand out. Jonah Hill is pretty superb as well, as Jordan's right hand man, a wasp-y weirdo who is perhaps a bit wilder even than Jordan. He absolutely nails the role. He's also never been better. Other stand outs include Margot Robbie as Jordan's volatile trophy wife, Jean DuJardin as a slick Swiss banker and Kyle Chandler as a straight arrow FBI agent. This is a cast of hundreds, and everyone nails it.

Now let's talk Martin Scorsese, because dude is 71 years old. He's already made his masterpieces. I wouldn't blame him one bit if he retired and spent five days a week golfing. But somehow he's making movies like he still has something to prove. He's making movies like a 28 year old fresh out of film school. He's making movies with more balls than kids half his age, or a third of his age. This movie has so much energy, is such a non-stop party that it's almost hard to believe it was directed by someone who is in his seventies. But Scorsese, more or less, showed absolutely everyone else who was boss with this movie. No one else is even close to him in terms of directing this year. There's him, and then everyone else. He is such a master of his craft that he manages to not let this movie go too far. Last week, I talked about David O. Russell ripping off Goodfellas, but letting the movie go too over the top. There was a big chance with that happening with The Wolf of Wall Street, but it never crosses that line. Scorsese keeps it in check, and keeps things from going into that campy zone.

I know I just spent three paragraphs praising the hell out of The Wolf of Wall Street, but keep in mind, it's not for everyone. Four people walked out of the theater that I was in, even before the halfway mark. This movie is absolutely brazen and wild and out of control. Jonah Hill masterbates! All the orgies! Leonardo DiCaprio snorts coke off a hookers ass, and later, Margot Robbie's tits! Speaking of, so. much. nudity. All the nudity. Plus, they say variations of f**k something like 560 times, according to IMDB (I don't know whose job it is to count). So, The Wolf of Wall Street may not be your cut of tea, but if you can take the craziness, it's definitely one of the best, most outrageous, ballsiest movies of the year.

Grade: A-

Just For Fun

As you probably have guessed by now, I'm sort of a nerd. I like to make lists and notes pertaining to all kinds of things, most of all movies. So, before I start finalizing my best and worst lists of 2013, here are a few things I took of note of this year. Keep in mind I haven't seen a number of films I'm still excited for (Wolf of Wall Street, American Hustle, Her). Let's think of this as early Christmas presents (and a few pieces of coal...)

MVP - Matthew McConaughey (Mud, Dallas Buyers Club, if he's half as entertaining as he looks in the Wolf of Wall Street trailer). A few years ago, McConaughey wasn't much more than a shirtless punchline. Now he's one of our most exciting actors.

Best Ensemble - Disconnect
Runner Up - 12 Years a Slave

Best Limited Role - James Badge Dale in World War Z
Runner Up - Adam Driver in Frances Ha

Best Movie Poster - Gravity
Runner Up - Oldboy

Best Trailer - Wolf of Wall Street

Best Kiss - Miles Teller and Shailene Woodley's first kiss in The Spectacular Now

Best Chemistry - Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke in Before Midnight

Best Dance Sequence - Greta Gerwig dances through the streets of NYC to Modern Love by David Bowie in Frances Ha

Best Fight - Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke's epic verbal showdown in Before Midnight

Best Image - Zombies climbing on top of one another in World War Z

Best Opening Shot - Single shot with no cuts (first twenty minutes) in Gravity
Runner Up - Tracking shot of Ryan Gosling on a motorbike in The Place Beyond the Pines

Best Opening Credits - The To-Do List's super 90's credits

Best Ending - You're Next

Best Action Sequence - Dwarfs in wine barrels float down a river while they (and two badass elves) fight some super creepy Orcs in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Runner Up - The plane crash scene in World War Z

Best CGI - Smaug in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Best Costumes - The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (specifically Katniss' wedding dress / mockingjay dress and Effie's butterfly dress)

Best Cinematography - Only God Forgives

Best Score - 12 Years a Slave

Breakthrough Performance Male - Tye Sheridan in Mud

Breakthrough Performances Female - Mickey Sumner in Frances Ha

Best Villain - Michael Fassbender in 12 Years a Slave
Runner Up - Sharlto Copley in Elysium

Best Hero - Evangeline Lilly in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Best Sexpot - Scarlett Johansson in Don Jon

Best Original Screenplay - Woody Allen for Blue Jasmine

Best Adapted Screenplay - Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke, Richard Linklater for Before Midnight (for some reason, in Hollywood, if a script is based on pre-existing characters then it's considered an adapted screenplay, which I find stupid, but they are richer than me so they must know best!)

Best Quote - Nun: "You're a journalist?" Martin: "Yes, well, I used to be." Philomena: "Martin is a Roman Catholic." Martin: "Yes, well, I used to be." From Philomena

Best Bad Movie - Only God Forgives
Runner Up - Plush

And finally, the piece of coal, this years award for Worst Performance of the Year - Michael Cera in Magic, Magic

Oldboy, The Book Thief, Dallas Buyers Club

Oldboy

I will admit it: I was pretty excited for the remake of Oldboy. Typically, I don't think remakes are a good idea, but in this case, I did. First off, the remake was directed by Spike Lee, a divisive director but his best films are great films and I thought he was a good choice. Second of all, films with subtitles, no matter how good they are, will have trouble finding American audiences and that's just the way it is. I thought if the remake was really great, more people might just search for the original Korean film and it would get even more fans. The original Korean film is a cult classic for a reason. It's possibly the best foreign film I've ever seen - violent and edgy and dark and provocative; an instant classic. Unfortunately, the remake is merely a pale copy of a vivid film.

Saying too much about Oldboy risks giving something away. It's got twists and turns and a great, shocking ending. The basic premise is this: Joe (Josh Brolin) is an asshole with a long list of enemies. After a night of heavy drinking, he finds himself kidnapped and locked in a motel room where he is left to rot, framed for the murder of his ex-wife, for twenty years. Who kidnapped him and why? But the better question is: why let him out after twenty years? Once free, he tries to answer these questions and get his revenge. Brolin is great, there is no denying that. Sharlto Copley is this versions villain and I guess he might be auditioning for a Bond villain because I don't understand his over-the-top performance in the slightest. Samuel L. Jackson roams around dressed like the Penguin from Batman Returns. Some of the changes this version makes are for the better (doing away with the whole hypnosis subplot is a definite good thing), but overall, the movie is a huge disappointment, just like the American version of the epic, iconic hallway fight scene. I'm glad this version is more grounded in reality (the Korean version is a tad cartoon-ish at times), but it's also lost so much magic. The Korean version is definitely something special and if you don't mind subtitles, it's infinitely better than this mediocre wannabe.

Grade: C

The Book Thief

It seems strange to say a movie that is narrated by Death, takes place in Nazi Germany, and where more than half of the characters die is nice, but that's exactly what this movie is. There's nothing wrong with it, per se, there's just not much that's special about it either. The Book Thief is based on one of my favorite books of all time, a book that is so special and so singularly important to me, that it sort of makes me mad that the movie is not better. But, at the same time, I can't find a whole lot wrong with it. It's not that the book didn't translate well, it's just that it's so much better on the page. The book follows a young girl who is sent to live with a couple in Germany just before the start of World War II. She is obsessed with books and learning to read and ultimately steals books. She grows close to the neighbor boy Rudy, and also Max, the Jewish man living in her family's basement. It also seems strange to say that The Book Thief is a good movie to watch with the whole family, but it definitely is. It's just so damn nice that I can't really find much to say about it. It's definitely worth renting once it hits Redbox and Netflix.

Grade: B

Dallas Buyers Club

Earlier this year, I saw Prisoners which I felt was an average movie elevated by great acting performances. I feel the same way about Dallas Buyers Club. The movie is overly long, it takes so long to get started and, once it does, it's got a sort of deja vu feel where the same events seem to be happening over and over. Still, the tale of a homophobic straight man in Texas in 1985 who discovers he has AIDS is also riveting at times. This is in part to performances by Matthew McConaughey (how many award worthy performances can he give IN A ROW??? By my count, it's 5, with The Wolf of Wall Street still coming out this year)and, especially, especially, especially Jared Leto. After being diagnosed with AIDS, McConaughey's Ron meets a transvestite named Rayon (Leto) and the two form a Dallas Buyers Club, which is a place for AIDS patients to get drugs smuggled in from Mexico. They aren't paying for the illegal drugs, but instead, paying a membership fee which sort of circumnavigates the law. At the beginning of the AIDS crisis, when no one knew what drugs would work and what wouldn't, these Buyers Clubs helped people live longer lives with a steady dose of mostly vitamins and protein shots. Of course, the FDA wants to shut him down, and of course no doctors are sympathetic to his situation save for one played by Jennifer Garner, and of course, it's AIDS in the 80's, and you can only delay the inevitable for so long. McConaughey is absolutely amazing to watch. His performance is an instant classic and I think he's bound to finally get nominated for an Oscar for it. But the real magic here belongs to Leto who is just absolutely stunning. He's incendiary and the movie lights up whenever he is on screen. A few weeks ago, I claimed Michael Fassbender gave the years best performance in 12 Years a Slave, but Leto is a very, very close second. I wouldn't want to be an Oscar voter who has to choice between these two men, but then, I guess you can't go wrong. The movie is flawed, for sure, but the performances sure as hell aren't.

Grade: B

Friday Top Five: High School Movies

So, school is back in session. But more than that, I'm hoping to FINALLY get to see The Spectacular Now this weekend. I'm not sure it's definitely going to happen, but I hope it does. This is a movie that's been on my radar for a while. I think there's been a sort of insurgence in movies about high school. There's been quite a few really good ones in the last few years: The Perks of Being a Wallflower and Easy A come to mind. Those aren't on my list but we can call them Honorable Mentions. (Note: I tried not to make this just a John Hughes list, because it very easily could have become one and I would have been fine with it).

05. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (John Hughes, 1986)
In high school, who didn't want to skip school, cruise around with your best friend in his dad's super expensive car, hang with your girl and end up in the middle of an epic parade?? Sounds like the perfect non-high school high school movie, right?? Of course, Principal Rooney is the bad guy who is wise to Ferris and his smart ass ways, trying to catch him - and failing to do so - in lie after lie. Ferris really soars due to the witty commentary that plays throughout the movie, that is both uber-teenage life and wise beyond its years.
Best Quote: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." [Words to live by, right???]

04. Dazed and Confused (Richard Linklater, 1993)
The last day of school 1976 and the freshman are being hazed and the seniors are graduating and everyone is getting high. Oh, and Matthew McConaughey, in his best role ever!!, is the total older guy sleazeball who still hangs around town hitting on college girls. What is not to love about Dazed and Confused? It's a movie that may look artificial on the outside - drugs, girls, sports, alcohol - but actually deals with some pretty substantial issues and does so while being oh so cool.
Best Quote: "That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older and they stay the same age."

03. Fast Times at Ridgemont High (Amy Heckerling, 1982)
When a movie is written by Cameron Crowe, the guy who directed my second favorite movie of all time (Almost Famous), you know I'm all in. Plus, it stars Sean Penn, my favorite actor of all time, who proved early on that crazy range he has an actor. He completely nails surfer dude Spicoli, but, of course, this entire cast is absolutely perfect. And I'm sure if you were a man of a certain age during this time, you idolized Phoebe Cates and her red bathing suit.
Best Quote: "All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine."

02. Clueless (Amy Heckerling, 1995)
A lot of the movies on my list were before my time. Movies that I didn't get a chance to actually live through. I've seen them on DVD a hundred times and love them just as much, but Clueless was a movie that came out when I was of a certain age. I may not have been rich or lived in California. And I certainly wasn't popular or pretty, but this movie sort of spoke to my generation, thanks in part to Alicia Silverstone (who I worshiped, by the way) and her absolutely perfect performance as dim-witted but well meaning Cher. Based on Jane Austen's Emma, Clueless is the defining comedy / romance of its time.
Best Quote: "You're just a virgin who can't drive."

01. The Breakfast Club (John Hughes, 1985)
Not only the greatest movie about high school ever made, but also one of the very best movies ever made, period. If I were to make a list of my top ten movies of all time (and I might sometime), this would definitely be on there. The Breakfast Club is perfect. It's the epitome of everything that's great about movies - the perfect cast, the perfect script, a writer / director who was just so perfectly attuned to the times and his character. This story of five totally different kids who spend a Saturday together in detention is the true epitome of movies that last forever. It's endlessly re-watchable, endlessly quotable, and just plain great. Also, just for the record, I had/have a pretty huge crush on Anthony Michael Hall, okay??
Best Quote: This is ridiculously hard and it could pretty much be anything Bender says, but... "Saturday, March 24,1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois, 60062. Dear Mr. Vernon, We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did *was* wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at 7:00 this morning. We were brainwashed."

DVD Mini Reviews

During the year, I like to try to watch as many movies released during that year as possible. I won't go pay to see a bad movie in theaters but I have no qualms about watching bad movies via Netflix. This is so I can make my best possible best and worst lists at the end of the year, making sure I see as many options as possible. The movies I've been watching lately from Netflix from this year were sort of on the disappointing side for the most part.

Mud
Stars: Matthew McConaughey, Tye Sheridan, Reese Witherspoon, Michael Shannon (!!)
Plot: Two young boys set out to find an island where a boat has been washed into a tree. They also happen to find a mysterious man named Mud and they become entangled in his personal life. Drama and danger ensue.
Thoughts: This was the only good movie I've seen via Netflix in the last few weeks. It's a pretty simple story, but the script is so well written and all the performances are out of this world, that it just elevates the material. Tye Sheridan is a great find, a young actor who can completely command attention from more famous co-stars. And McConaughey?!? Man, he is on a role. His career is so hot right now that I am always anticipating new work from him which is something I never, ever thought I would think. But, seriously, how many award worthy performances can he give in a row???
Grade: B+

Dead Man Down
Stars: Colin Farrell, Noomi Rapace, Terrence Howard
Plot: A lonely disfigured woman witnesses the man across the street kill another man in his apartment and decides to blackmail him into murdering the man who disfigured her.
Thoughts: The best part of this movie was when it was over. I think I may have fallen asleep at one point, but it really didn't matter because you can see the "plot twists" coming a mile away. I love Farrell and Rapace and think they did a great job with the material, but this movie ultimately fails to deliver but succeeds at boring you into submission.
Grade: D+

A Good Day to Die Hard
Stars: Bruce Willis, Jai Courtney
Plot: John McClane heads to Russia, where his wayward son is in trouble with the law. Or is he?? Turns out his hottie son is working for the CIA and the two sexy bald McClane men team up to fight Russian bad guys. Smashing through ceilings, gun fights and helicopter chases ensue.
Thoughts: Obviously not as good as the original Die Hard. Or Die Hard 2. Or even Live Free or Die Hard from a few years ago. It's basically Die Hard paint by numbers and if you like action and sexy bald men, then it's not a terrible way to spend an hour and a half. This would have gotten a higher grade had Jai Courtney been shirtless for more than ten seconds. (What?? I'm totally a girl sometimes.)
Grade: C

Magic Magic
Stars: Juno Temple, Emily Browning, Michael Cera
Plot: A bunch of college friends go to a secluded farm to drink and hang out. One of their cousin's tags along. She goes cray.
Thoughts: Allow me to justify why I got this movie from the Red Box to begin with: I had a coupon, okay?? It was for a free movie and it expired that particular day. Neither my boyfriend nor I had ever heard of this movie. I have a pretty major girl crush on Juno Temple and he has a thing for Emily Browning. Plus, Michael Cera is awesome, so we decided to go for it. BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER. This is, quite possibly, one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my entire life. I don't even know why we watched the whole thing instead of just turning it off and calling it a day. Still, it's better than Lords of Salem, so that's a plus, I guess.
Grade: F

The Host
Stars: Saoirse Ronan, Max Irons, Jake Abel, Diane Kruger, William Hurt
Plot: Aliens begin taking over the bodies of humans, erasing their memories, and living a peaceful existence. One young woman fights back against the force to hold onto her love and protect her brother.
Thoughts: Positives first - William Hurt is awesome in this movie. Also, I'll never complain about a movie featuring not one (Irons) but TWO (Abel) cute boys. But, mostly, this movie is ridiculous. There are no high stakes. There is no drama, really, except for a minute here and a minute there. Plus, this movie features the absolute strangest love triangle I have ever seen.
Grade: D+

Welcome to the Punch
Stars: James McAvoy, Mark Strong, David Morrissey
Plot: It's your basic cops and bad guy movie complete with dirty cops and complicated plot lines that don't entirely make sense until the end.
Thoughts: Like I said, pretty basic. There is nothing bad about this movie, but there isn't really much to say about it that's good either. This movie is basically entirely carried by the charms and charisma of McAvoy, so if you like McAvoy like I do, then you probably won't mind watching a mediocre movie.
Grade: C+


And finally, the movie COMPLIANCE was released last year instead of this year, but I finally got around to watching it and I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's the true story of a man who poses as a police officer and calls fast food restaurants to see how far he can push managers in taking advantage of employees. For example, he tells the manager of Chickwich that one of her employees is a thief which leads to a strip search and so much more. This is an entirely true story and according to Wikipedia, happened at least 70 times around the country. I can't really believe one group of people were stupid enough to fall for this hoax, let alone 70! It's a pretty uncomfortable movie to watch but i also find it highly effective. It's as tense as a movie that takes almost entirely in one small room can be. So, anyway, I'm still not sure what to make of it so if anyone watches it, I'm really interested to hear another take on it.

Friday Top Five: Best of the Year (So Far...)

I honestly can't even tell you where summer went. It seems like it just started and yet it's just about September. Which is bad because I hate all things winter related, but good because now it's time to get into the good movies. Summer was mostly disappointing as far as movies go. Still, there are a few movies and performances that really stuck with me through summer and, really, the first eight months of the year. In January of every year, I make top ten lists of my favorite movies and acting performances of the year, but often a few performances from the earlier parts of the year fall off the radar by then. So, this week's top five is really FIVE top fives - my favorites in each category, so far.

Best Film
01. The Place Beyond the Pines
02. Blue Jasmine
03. Fruitvale Station
04. Mud
05. You're Next

Best Actor
01. Michael B. Jordan in Fruitvale Station
02. Ryan Gosling in The Place Beyond the Pines
03. Jude Law in Side Effects
04. Tye Sheridan in Mud
05. Brad Pitt in World War Z

Best Actress
01. Cate Blanchett in Blue Jasmine
02. Mia Wasikowska in Stoker
03. Jane Levy in Evil Dead
04. Rooney Mara in Side Effects
05. Sharni Vinson in You're Next

Best Supporting Actor
01. Ben Mendelsohn in The Place Beyond the Pines
02. Sam Rockwell in The Way Way Back
03. Sharlto Copley in Elysium
04. Matthew Goode in Stoker
05. Matthew McConaughey in Mud

Best Supporting Actress
01. Emma Watson in The Bling Ring
02. Melonie Diaz in Fruitvale Station
03. Sally Hawkins in Blue Jasmine
04. Nicole Kidman in Stoker
05. Leslie Mann in The Bling Ring

This weekend sucks for movies so unless the boyfriend agrees to take me to see the One Direction movie, I won't be seeing anything. (And I'm really only half joking about that last sentence). But, I leave you with this question: How many award worthy performances in a row can Matthew McConaughey give?? By my count, we are up to four now with possibly / probably two more on the way.

DVD Mini Reviews

Starting Monday, I will be revealing my Top Ten Best and Worst of 2012 lists. For now, here are the last of the DVD's I've watched for movies released this year.

Safety Not Guaranteed
Starring: Aubrey Plaza, Jake Johnson, Mark Duplass
Plot: A group of journalists investigate a newspaper ad looking for a time travel partner.
Thoughts: Some parts of this comedy are really cute and Plaza is a great indie leading lady. However, for every sweet, funny moment, there are just as many cliches.
Grade: C

Bernie
Starring: Jack Black, Matthew McConaughey, Shirley McClaine
Plot: A seemingly sweet funeral director may have a very surprising dark side.
Thoughts: Every one seemed to love this movie as it's made it's way onto Top Ten lists and received award nominations. I found it to be impressive only because they managed to get Jack Black to not act like an idiot for an hour and forty minutes. McConaughey is having some kind of year, though.
Grade: C-

Sound of My Voice
Starring: Brit Marling
Plot: Two investigative journalists infiltrate a cult where the members worship a woman who claims to be from the future.
Thoughts: I absolutely loved this movie and find Marling to be stunning. It's almost impossible to take your eyes off of her. A star is born.
Grade: B

Seeking a Friend For the End of the World
Starring: Steve Carrell, Keira Knightley
Plot: Two strangers who have zero chemistry take a road trip to find the man's long lost love before the world ends.
Thoughts: Like I said, Carrell and Knightley have zero chemistry. Still, parts of this are really cute. But the ending ultimately ruined it for me. If it had ended a few moments earlier, I would have given this a much better grade.
Grade: D

The Deep Blue Sea
Starring: Rachel Weisz
Plot: A woman struggles with suicide and depression after leaving her rich husband for another man.
Thoughts: I tried to watch this once before, months ago, and I couldn't make it past twenty minutes. Still, it does get better. Some of it is visually stunning and Weisz is perfection. Still, kinda boring.
Grade: C

Damsels in Distress
Starring: Greta Gerwig
Plot: A group of college students try to prevent suicide and also dance.
Thoughts: Seriously, painful and unwatchable.
Grade: F

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Starring: Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Tom Wilkinson, Bill Nighy
Plot: A group of older people move to India to live at a once thriving hotel.
Thoughts: This movie is quite charming and sweet. Of course, Maggie Smith is the queen bitch of the world. Love her. (That's a compliment)
Grade: B-

Your Sister's Sister
Starring: Emily Blunt, RoseMarie Dewitt, Mark Duplass
Plot: A down on his luck guy manages to become involved in a love triangle with his best friend and her lesbian sister while spending a weekend at a secluded cabin.
Thoughts: A really winning, cute movie with a very likeable cast.
Grade: B

Arbitrage
Starring: Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon, Nate Parker, Tim Roth, Brit Marling
Plot: A super rich man becomes involved in a hit and run case while dealing with a failing business / fraud.
Thoughts: A really taut, exceptional thriller / drama. Performances by Gere and Parker are electrifying and worth the rental alone.
Grade: B

Pitch Perfect
Starring: Anna Kendrick, Brittany Snow, Anna Camp, Rebel Wilson, Skylar Astin
Plot: A freshman in college becomes involved in an accapella singing group.
Thoughts: When this movie is at it's best, it's campy, wonderful fun, reminiscent of Bring It On. When it's at its worst, it's cheesy and silly. Still, the fun wins out in the end.
Grade: B

Summer Movie Survey

One of my favorite blogs to read about films on line is The Film Experience. Recently, he featured a few different people answering a series of questions about their summer movie going experiences. I thought I'd steal borrow the survey and fill it out myself. Here goes...

Best Movie I Saw This Summer:
The Dark Knight Rises. I'm realizing not everyone loved it as much as I did, but I thought it was a perfect wrap up to the best superhero trilogy of all time. It was a thrilling, intense, dark, but ultimately uplifting film and I couldn't have loved it anymore.

Thing I Actually Learned (at summer movie camp!):
That maybe I was too quick to jump on that whole Blake Lively can really act bandwagon after her turn in The Town because she was certainly the weakest link in Savages.

Major Summer Crush:
Oh, where to start?? Michael Shannon in Premium Rush. Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone in The Amazing Spider-man. Charlize Theron in Snow White and the Huntsman. The entire cast of Magic Mike.

Moment I <3 So Much I Thought My Heart Would Burst:
Beasts of the Southern Wild - Hushpuppy running through that infectious party scene with sparklers. So much beauty, innocence, hope, freedom.

Princess Merida, Katniss, or Hawkeye?
I'm a sucker for Jennifer Lawrence and The Hunger Games so Katniss all the way. We need more strong female characters being represented in young adult films. Women who have to fight for survival and not just lament having to pick over a boring vampire or an even more boring werewolf.

If Only "Hulk" Had Smashed...
Whoever thought that terrible ending for Premium Rush was a good idea. Way to (almost) ruin a perfectly fun late summer movie.

Mash-Up ~ Summer Movie Characters I'd Like to Introduce (and why):
Giovanni Ribisi from Ted and the cast of Magic Mike, because, even though I hated Ted, I loved Giovanni and his super sweet dance moves deserved a much better show case. Girls like skinny semi-creepy dudes, too, you know!

Rank the Magic Mike Strippers:
1. Magic Mike (Channing Tatum)
2. Dallas (Matthew McConaughey)
3. Ken (Matt Bomer)
4. The Kid (Alex Pettyfer)
5. Big Dick Richie (Joe Manganiello)
6. Tito (Alex Rodriguez)
7. Tarzan (Kevin Nash)

At Least the Theater Was Air Conditioned:
Ted. I think I laughed once, although I can't for the life of me remember why.

Best Old Movie I Saw For The First Time This Summer:
Oldboy. What the hell took me so long?? It was FANTASTIC!

Line Reading That Stuck in My Head:
It's a movie that isn't released yet, but I've seen the trailer so many times and I think it might be the best line of the year... "Why don't you do what old men do - and die." -Joseph Gordon-Levitt from the upcoming Looper.

Killer Joe

Every once in a while, a movie comes along and you just don't know what to make of it. For me, that movie is Killer Joe. I saw it last night and when I left the theater, I couldn't decide if I liked it or not. Parts of it were so, so very good while others (especially the last 20 minutes or so) were over-the-top ridiculous. I slept on it and I'm still thinking about it this morning (which I guess is a good thing??) but I still haven't made up my mind.

Killer Joe begins with Chris (Emile Hirsch), a two-bit drug dealer and general screw-up who decides the best way to pay off his $6,000 debt to his suppliers is by killing his deadbeat, junkie mom and using her $50,000 life insurance policy as the pay off. The beneficiary is his dimwitted little sister, Dottie (Juno Temple) so he decides to get his trailer park trash dad (Thomas Hayden Church) and his new wife (Gina Gershon) involved. They decide the best and easiest way to go about murder is to hire Killer Joe (Matthew McConaughey), a Dallas detective who moonlights as a hitman. Of course, double crossing and, since this is based on a play from Tracy Letts (Bug, August: Osage County), general third act CRAZINESS (yes, it requires all capital letters) ensues.

Killer Joe is rated NC17, I'm assuming because there is an awful lot of nudity (mostly female, although if you didn't get your fill of McConaughey's backside in Magic Mike then you're in luck!) and even more random and extreme violence. That stuff doesn't bother me. It just seemed sort of out of place. I generally don't like to compare movies but there is a fine line that movies like this and Bug (which sports the same writer and director) walk between acceptable human drama and over-the-top crazy ridiculousness. I think Bug was a far more successful movie at walking that line. The really out there stuff that happens in the third act of Bug seems organic, growing from a natural place. Killer Joe, which has hints of this craziness throughout, just sort of randomly becomes too much at a certain point in the third act. It didn't feel natural at all and it also didn't necessarily serve the plot. Letts is a fantastic writer and of the three things I've seen by him (movie versions of Bug and Killer Joe and August: Osage County on Broadway), I've loved his ability to write characters and dialogue. I also love his gutsiness and the way his work always just GO FOR IT. Something about Killer Joe, the movie, which was also a play, just didn't jive for me.

It wasn't the fault of the cast, that's for sure. The thing that worked most about this movie, in fact, was Juno Temple's crazy adorable performance of Dottie with all her wide eyed innocence and sexual discovery. Temple has been the next big thing for a while now but lacked a big break out role. This performance can surely do it for her. The question is, will people see it and appreciate it? It's not the kind of movie that the average person on the street is going to enjoy, but I'm still hoping this movie benefits Temple's career in a big way. McConaughey is great as well. He's having a banner year and you can argue that this or Magic Mike (or both) are his career best performances. Emile Hirsch is great as well, and it's nice to see him back on the screen in a starring role. Church and Gershon are fine, although not stand outs.

Like I said, there are some fine moments in this movie. Just about every time Juno Temple is on screen, whether she is doing karate or twirling in the street, it's almost impossible to take your eyes off her. There was a particularly well shot scene involving Hirsch being chased by some goons. In fact, the whole movie is well shot and well directed and well acted. It's just that pesky third act that almost ruins the whole damn thing. I don't want to give anything away but believe me when I tell you, it's CRAZY.

Grade: C??? (I really can't decide)

The Lincoln Lawyer

I don't want to get too excited here but I will say this: The Lincoln Lawyer is the best movie of 2011, so far. The thrill of FINALLY finding a movie that is actually good this year may cloud this review just a bit; after all, it's been months and months of crap at the theaters. So, I'm going to start off with the negatives just in case this becomes a review where I praise the hell out of this movie. First of all, one of my biggest pet peeves in a movie is something I call the false ending. That's where you think the movie ends more than once before it actually ends. This movie has about five of those. And it really irks me. I think a lot of crappy decisions in the writing of a film can be forgiven with a really great ending. But, guess what? If you have three or four ideas for a great ending, don't use them all! It's overkill. That is my biggest problem with the film. Other than that, it's all minor things - it meanders in pace from time to time, I wish parts of it had been a little more ambiguous, some overstating of the obvious. But, really, that's it!

The Lincoln Lawyer stars Matthew McConaughey as Mick Haller, a cocky, effortlessly charming defense lawyer whose office is in the back of his car (a Lincoln, hence the title). His m.o. is getting criminals out of jail, druggies, murderers, it doesn't matter as long as the pay checks show up. But then he takes on the case of a pretty rich boy (Ryan Phillippe) who is accused of beating the hell out of a girl he met at a bar... who just so happens to be a prostitute who may or may not have devised this evil plan to get millions of dollars out of the spoiled rich kid, Louis. And that's basically it. Sounds simple, but there are twists and turns and damn great storytelling that will keep you on the edge of your seat. This is an intense legal thriller that has a great feel about it, a gritty, dirty tale of redemption in Los Angeles.

McConaughey gives the best performance of his career as the caddish lawyer who seemingly develops a conscious over night. I'm not his biggest fan but (and I'd truly like to see if he is actually a good actor by having him branch out and do something different, something that shows his vulnerable side) he is solid in this role. It's right in his wheelhouse - effortlessly cool, calm, funny, cockiness under the surface. Another performance that is in an actor's wheelhouse is that given by Phillippe. Again, not his biggest fan, but I do think some of the criticism of him as a "wooden" actor is unjustified. He'll never be the type of actor who can do any kind of role. He's not Meryl Streep, for Christ's sake. But when given a certain type of role - cold, possibly conniving, pretty rich spoiled brat - he nails it. And it's because of his "wooden" acting that allows him to embody seemingly devious characters. The audience is never sure if they should trust a word he says and Phillippe is sort of perfect for a part like that, probably because you're not sure if you like him in real life. The rest of the cast is pretty stellar as well - William H. Macy as Mick's investigator bestie, lightening the mood with his humor and wit, Josh Lucas as the up and coming lawyer from the district attorney's office who isn't above playing dirty, Michael Pena as a possibly innocent man in San Quentin, John Leguizamo as a squirrely bail bondsman, Bryan Cranston as a hardnosed cop, and my man Shea Whigham who all but steals the damn movie in one perfectly played scene. Then there are the ladies, Marisa Tomei as Mick's lawyer ex and Frances Fisher as Louis' tough as nails mom, who are terribly, terribly, terribly under used. That is another of the problems I have with this movie. The men all have riveting, interesting roles. The women? Not so much! Why not hire nobodies? They are wasting the talents of Tomei and Fisher with empty roles.

Overall, the acting is excellent (most of the men are already gracing my best of 2011 lists... although I'm sure some of them won't make the cut once the heavy hitting movies are released). The plot is solid and tight and grabs your attention from the beginning and barely lets you go. The writing is smart and witty. There's a great soundtrack and the film is evenly paced and doesn't flounder or lose it's way too often. The direction is raw and gritty, and I personally like all the handheld camera work although I could understand where it would annoy some as being unnecessary. The Lincoln Lawyer is based on a book in a series by Michael Connelly which means there may be a franchise. I, for one, say bring it!

Grade: B

Coming soon: Reviews of Limitless, Sucker Punch, and more!