October 2015

The Martian
Stars - Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Sebastian Stan, Kate Mara, Jeff Daniels
Plot - An astronaut left on Mars by his crew who thought he was dead, must learn to survive until they can come save him.
Thoughts - The Martian is a big ole' crowd pleaser of a movie. It's funny, it's smart, it's engaging, it's got a great cast full of great performances. But it is also sort of forgettable, and it has a pretty anti-climactic ending. Still worth seeing though.
Grade - B

Sicario
Stars - Emily Blunt, Benicio Del Toro, Josh Brolin
Plot - A woman is brought in on a top secret mission involving drug smuggling between Mexico and the US.
Thoughts - I'm guessing not many people saw this, which sucks, because we need more smart movies for adults. However, this also could have been a slightly better movie, and perhaps more people would have seen it. Benicio Del Toro kills it in this movie which is pretty solid despite a lackluster ending.
Grade - B

The Walk
Stars - Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Plot - Based on the true story of a French tight rope walker who decides to walk between the twin towers in NYC.
Thoughts - It's a shame this movie is so boring, because the actual tight rope walk scene is so fantastic, it will make you fall in love with the magic of movies all over again.
Grade - C

Unfriended
Plot - A group of friends are terrorized one by one via social media on the anniversary of their friends death.
Thoughts - I actually sort of didn't hate this? Sure, it's gimmicky (filmed entirely on Web cams and via Skype). Sure, it's sort of a cliche scare fest. But the hell if it isn't a fast paced, fun little creative experiment, that maybe doesn't always succeed, but will at least keep you interested.
Grade - C+

Steve Jobs
Stars - Michael Fassbender, Kate Winslet, Seth Rogen, Jeff Daniels
Plot - Steve Jobs goes head to head with various co-workers, employees and friends while building a legacy.
Thoughts - I guess there are people who don't like screen writer Aaron Sorkin's fast paced, non stop style. Those people might not like this super talky, character driven movie. But I love Sorkin, and there haven't been very many movies as good as or better than this all year. Also, I haven't seen DiCaprio in The Revenant yet, but Fassbender is going to be tough to beat for that Oscar.
Grade - A-

Bridge of Spies
Stars - Tom Hanks, Mark Rylance
Plot - A lawyer helps broker a trade of Spies during the Cold War.
Thoughts - I realize how lucky I am to live in a world where Steven Spielberg is still making movies. However, I've always had a fundamental problem with Spielberg movies, and that is how uneven they feel.  Just when you are about to fall asleep from boredom,  he throws in some amazing scene of a plane being shot down, or people trying to climb over the Berlin Wall. Plus, Hanks is probably our most reliable movie star actor, and Mark Rylance steals the whole movie. Feels even longer than its 2 hour and 20 minute run time, but still worth watching.
Grade - B

Elysium

The disappointing summer of 2013 continues...

In 2009, a first time director named Neill Blomkamp directed a little movie called District 9 which completely wowed me. I loved District 9 so much that his follow up film, Elysium, was my absolute most anticipated movie of this summer. I thought Blomkamp had a vision, something different and unique and more intelligent than that standard issue fare from the studios - sequels and reboots. But my anticipation was misplaced because I found Elysium to be nothing more than a huge disappointment.

The movie takes place in the year 2154, where Earth is little more than a shanty town full of the poor and the sick. Meanwhile, the rich live in outer space on a spherical man made planet called Elysium. They have perfect lawns and perfect weather and devices that can cure any illness or injury. Elysium is all but run by Jodie Foster, who has an indescribable accent for some reason, that comes and goes at will. Meanwhile, on Earth, a young boy named Max dreams of taking his childhood sweetheart Frey to the new planet. He grows up to be played by Matt Damon, an ex con who works a terrible job which leads to an accident that leaves him with only 5 days to live. Suddenly, he absolutely has to get to Elysium because they have the machinery to cure him. So, he goes to an old friend named Spider (Wagner Moura, where have you been all my life???). Spider is a shady underground figure who Max apparently did time for earlier so he owes him a favor. Spider's thugs outfit Max with a bad ass exoskeleton which makes him into some sort of super fighter dude, ask him to do one last job for them, and then promise him a ticket to Elysium. Of course, nothing goes right, Max runs into a grown up Frey (Alice Braga) who has problems of her own, and a sociopathic Elysium henchman named Kruger (Sharlto Copley).

So, that's Elysium in a nutshell. In some ways, this movie is really all that you can ask for out of a summer movie. It's got great direction, beautiful visuals, great acting, and special effects that are far and away from most everything else. Plus, it's got a very distinct style and vision and, although dark and depressing, it's special nonetheless. Also, it's so refreshing to have a big budget summer action movie that ISN'T IN 3D!!! So, thank the Lord for that, because I am totally burned out on 3D. So, if this looks and feels like a good sci-fi movie, then why is it so damn disappointing?

Well, for starters, the story is just so bogged down with unnecessary things. I think this sort of movie would have been best, and seemed smarter, if it had just stayed simple. You don't have to throw in some half-cooked, hair-brain idea about stealing encrypted information from someone's brain in order to seem smart, especially when this doesn't advance the plot in any real way. It just forces a character to get from point A to point B, when there are other ways that could have been done. The story just seemed so mediocre and I was definitely expecting so much more from the Blomkamp. I mean, if you don't have a good story to begin with then you really can't have a good movie. So, my biggest problem is the trite and haphazard nature of the plot, but that's hardly the only problem. Jodie Foster, who is a great, great actress, either isn't right for this role in the least or was just phoning it in. Her performance is terrible and nearly as distracting as whatever awful accent she was using for whatever reason. And don't even get me started on the lack of action in this "action movie."

But there is a saving grace and his name is Sharlto Copley, whose gleefully grinning maniac Kruger is the best damn thing about this movie. His performance is so intense, it puts everyone else to shame. He's perfection and gives the absolute best kind of performance, which is to say his mere presence manages to elevate the entire movie. If only he could have been in every single frame. Then perhaps I wouldn't have left Elysium so disappointed.

Grade: C-

Quickies: Contagion, Drive and more!

Win Win - Indie darlings Paul Giamatti and Amy Ryan star as a Midwestern couple who all but adopt a young wrestling prodigy in this charming little film. Giamatti and Ryan are both fantastic in their roles, especially Giamatti who doesn't play necessarily the most likable person in the world. Bobby Cannavale manages to steal every scene he's in, of course. I was expecting just your average indie quirky film but it had a lot more depth and heart that I was expecting. It's definitely worth checking out.
Grade: B-

Contagion - If you think this is just going to be another boring disaster type flick about an epic disease spreading through the world is wrong. This isn't Outbreak. This a great film from director Steven Soderbergh with, probably, the most perfect cast of the year: Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, John Hawkes, Marion Cotillard, Bryan Cranston, Laurence Fishburn. Paltrow goes oversees on a business trip and manages to become infected. When she returns home, she begins to pass the virus to everyone around her. And so it begins. Watch as husbands mourn their cheating dead spouses and struggle to keep their daughter disease free, doctors try to find a cure and trace the beginning, and sleazy journalists try to profit from the whole thing. A great thrilling interesting timely film.
Grade: B

Paul / Your Highness - I could pretty much say the same thing about both of these movies: so much wasted talented!!! Paul is about a couple of nerds leaving Comic Con who discover a real alien and run from the FBI. The wasted comedic talent includes, but is not limited to: Simon Pegg, Kristen Wiig, Jason Bateman, Bill Hader, Jane Lynch and my beloved Landry from Fright Night Lights (a.k.a. Jesse Plemmons). Your Highness is an epic about a stoner knight who goes on a quest with his handsome brother to save his virgin bride from an evil wizard. Not only is it directed by David Gordon Green, the genius who directed All the Real Girls and George Washington, but also it wastes the considerable talents of Natalie Portman, James Franco, Zooey Deschanel and Justin Theroux (and the somewhat lesser talents of Danny McBride). Neither film is funny at all. Both are a huge waste of time and will probably end up on my Worst of the Year list.
Grade: F for both

Drive - This movie has a massive amount of swagger and style from the very first second of the film. You are immediately engrossed in this beautifully filmed story about a stunt car driver for films who finds himself caught up in a crazy world of driving criminals from whatever place they happen to be robbing. And, boy, can he drive. He being Ryan Gosling, who mesmerizes and smolders his way through this film. He's fantastic. As is the supporting cast of Carey Mulligan (who is pretty much Michelle Williams, version 2.0 and that is NOT a bad thing), Bryan Cranston (again!), Ron Perlman and SCENE STEALER EXTRAORDINAIRE Albert Brooks. Seriously, Brooks is sooo damn good, I can't imagine him not being nominated for an Oscar at this point. This movie is simply beautiful, one of the best of the year. It's silent and intense and a great slow burn thriller that goes from zero to extreme violence in the blink of an eye. This movie should not be missed!
Grade: B+

Mini Reviews (Catching Up!)

The Adjustment Bureau - Maybe it's because I was watching it on a loud bus, or maybe the movie really was just stupid (the plot involves secret passageways and magical fedoras - not even kidding), but this movie did not live up to my expectations. I was excited to see this movie - where Matt Damon's senator meets the girl of his dreams (Emily Blunt) but mysterious men (led by the extraordinarily handsome John Slattery) try to keep them apart - but I guess there was a reason it was delayed for so long. The performances were all fine (except Anthony Mackie, who I loved so much in The Hurt Locker, but who was so, so very wooden here). It's just the script was mediocre at best and the plot was just plain silly. Grade: D+

Just Go With It - In the film world, we are led to believe that Adam Sandler could not only land a chick as hot as Brooklyn Decker, but also land a chick as hot as Jennifer Aniston as well. I call bullshit. Sandler plays a plastic surgeon who was once left at the alter and now uses his useless wedding ring to create sob stories and pick up sympathetic women. In other words, he's a total jerk and highly unlikeable and there is no reason in hell why anyone would want him to end up happy in this movie. The characters are all people we don't care about. There's no character development. It's not funny. The writing is bad at best. Then there is the painful "cameo" by Nicole Kidman. I mean, remember the early 2000's when she was the best actress working??? This movie will quickly make you forget all about that. The only saving grace is Jennifer Aniston who is charming and and tries to make the best of a bad situation. Grade: D+

Horrible Bosses - The sexy Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudekis all hate their bosses. And when they are a sexually harassing maneater (Jennifer Aniston), a coke head douche bag (Colin Farrell) and a plain, old jerk (Kevin Spacey), how can you blame them? So, on the advice of a man named Motherfucker Jones (Jamie Foxx), they plan to kill each others bosses so they can live happily ever after in their stuffy office jobs with their nice cars and pretty girlfriends. Suffice it to say, hi jinks ensue! Horrible Bosses isn't terrible by any means. In fact, some parts of it are pretty damn funny. Plus, the trio of bosses, all playing so far against type, are delightful to watch. I wish I could say the same for the entire movie. For as funny as parts of it are, there are as many parts that are painfully boring. It's a little too long and a little too predictable. Plus, I'm growing tired of this whole Hangover effect in comedy. You know, the bromance where none of the characters are all that likable but you are supposed to cheer for them while they do stupid shit anyway. It's getting old. Grade: C+

Beastly - If you are interested in seeing a bunch of pseudo pretty people acting very, very badly, then Beastly just might be for you! A modern telling of Beauty and the Beast, Beastly follows Kyle (Alex Pettyfer), a a pretty boy who is a super jerk but may have some redeeming qualities hidden deep down somewhere. After pissing off a witch (Mary Kate Olsen), she does some magic and makes him as ugly on the outside as he is in the inside. He has a year to break the curse... he just needs to find someone who loves him for who he is. Enter Vanessa Hudgens as a sweet girl with daddy issues. Seriously though, this movie is extremely predictable, horribly written and starring a trio of young stars who simply can not act. The only small ray of light is Neil Patrick Harris who tries to make the most of a blind tutor. His failure isn't his fault at all. (Although he is in the upcoming Smurfs movie and should probably rethink his approach to picking projects or it might effect his Awesomeness.) Grade: D-

Unknown - Okay, so Liam Neeson is a total bad ass and can make even a bad movie totally watchable. I think we are all in agreement about that. In Unknown, he stars as Dr. Martin Harris who arrives in Berlin with his wife (January Jones) to attend a conference. He forgets a bag at the airport and gets in a cab driven by Diane Kruger to retrieve it. Instead, they get into a terrible accident and he loses some of his memories. When he arrives back at the hotel, his wife has no idea who the hell he is and introduces him to her husband... Dr. Martin Harris (Aiden Quinn). I have nothing bad to say about most of the script. The plot is great and there is a wonderful twist ending. Neeson's performance is fantastic. Jones is wooden, as usual. Overall, however, the movie is just a little boring. It could have been 30 minutes shorter, no problem. The sum of the parts is just mediocre. Grade: C

The Informant!, Pandorum, Whip It, Zombieland

The Informant - The problem with The Informant is NOT Matt Damon's stellar performance. In fact, it just may be the best performance of his career (or second to his subtlety in The Departed). Damon manages to portray the self-obsessed Whitacre with the right amounts of "Hey, I'm a jackass" and "I'm a martyr doing the right thing." No, the problem with The Informant is mostly it's glacial pace. The story is interesting, sure (a man makes $300,000 a year at a company but turns informant instead), and it's true. Still, it takes about 3/4 of the movie until the pace starts to pick up to an enjoyable level. Steven Soderbergh does a great job and The Informant sure is interesting if it's not successful and I'm not sure it is. Also, it's trying to do too many things at once. Is it a wacky, zany comedy? Well, it's not funny enough. Is it a corporate thriller about embezzlement? Well, it's not nearly exciting enough. Damon's performance is enough for me to recommend the film but I wouldn't say it's necessarily good, just average.
Grade: C

Pandorum - Let's get this out of the way - Ben Foster is incredible. Dennis Quaid is incredible. The twist at the end is pretty damn great (you can predict it, but it's still done well enough that I didn't even care). The critics bashed it. Sci-fi fans are heralding it as the best sci-fi movie in a long time. I fall somewhere in the middle. It's an exciting film and it's a little horrifying. Foster and Quaid wake up on a ship that seems abandoned. They are locked in a room on a space ship and they've been in hyper sleep way longer than they should. Foster tries to escape the room through the ventillation system while Quaid guides him. Foster finds help... and some major problems while Quaid meets another young member of the crew who is going off the deep end (played by Twilight hottie Cam Gigandet). My major problem with the film is the crappy camera work. I know it's supposed to be exciting but there's a fine line between hand held exciting camera work and not having any idea what the hell is happening to your characters. Also, at times, it's just a little gross for gross' sake. Being disgusting doesn't further the film in any way. Also, it seems a little convenient that a side effect of hyper sleep is temporary memory loss. However, Foster and Quaid's characters remember just enough when they need to. And while their characters are in different parts of the ship for most of the movie, it allows the screenwriter to fill a ridiculous amount of time with the two trying to contact each other via radio. Basically, the film has its problems but it's also good enough to merit a recommendation. Again, not good, merely average.
Grade: C

Whip It - Whip It is cute. Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes, well, not so much. Drew Barrymore makes her directorial debut and any shortcomings this movie has aren't necessarily her fault. She does a pretty good job at directing. Sometimes, it's very basic. Nothing she's doing is groundbreaking. But there are some pretty great scenes, very well directed (especially the pool scene near the end... just beautiful). Whip It follows a reluctant beauty queen named Bliss (Ellen Page) who is basically only doing beauty pageants to appease her mom (the amazing / wonderful / fantastic / goddesss of the world Marcia Gay Harden). On a shopping trip to Austin, Bliss discovers a flyer for roller derby. She and best friend Pash (Alia Shawkat a.k.a. Maeby Funke from the greatest show ever to be on TV Arrested Development) go to the derby exhibition game and Bliss is impressed. Soon, she is lying about her age and trying out for the Hurl Scouts team. She changes her name to Babe Ruthless and joins the team alongside Maggie Mayhem (Kristen Wiig) and Smashely Simpson (Barrymore). There are a few things that endear this movie to me. 1. Har Mar Superstar has a little cameo. 2. Tilly and the Wall is on the soundtrack. 3. I was at some of the places they filmed in Austin. Then, of course, there is the predictibility. This script is paint-by-numbers, cliched and totally predictable. That makes parts of it boring. Then there is the cuteness factor. Some of the cute stuff is just that - cute. Some of it (like a showdown with rival Iron Maven (Juliette Lewis) that turns into a silly food fight) is just dumb. Also, Jimmy Fallon just needs to stop acting. He needs to stick to late night and he's not even good at that (just not as bad as acting). All in all, Whip It is a little too cutesy at times although Barrymore does a fine job presenting a kick ass girl power story. See it for the great cast and the cool soundtrack, just don't expect too much.
Grade: C+ (B- on a good day... if I'm feeling nice... which I'm not today).

Zombieland - Zombieland is excatly what it needed to be. I was expecting a ridiculous, off beat, fun horror flick and that's exactly what it is. There is no subtle build up to Zombieland. You are dropped right in (it's complete with flashy, great opening credits). First, you meet Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg who is like Michael Cera although maybe funnier?), a college kid who has a lot of ticks and fears and a lot of rules for surviving Zombieland. Always shoot the zombie twice to make sure it's dead, Beware of bathrooms, Always wear your seatbelt, etc. He is one of five (ha!) surviving humans in Zombieland. Along the way he meets Tallahassee, a totally bad ass Woody Harrelson who just seems to have been born for this role. He's hilarious and bad ass and just all kinds of perfect for this role. All he really wants to do is find a Twinkie and kick zombie ass. They team up and eventually meet Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), a sister con-artist duo who dupe our heroes before eventually teaming up with them. Their plan is the head west to Pacific Playland, an amusement park outside of Los Angeles which they believe is zombie free. Along the way, they make a pit stop at a Beverly Hills home where there is the most perfect cameo in cameo history. I won't ruin it (although I'm sure you can find out) but it's pretty freaking great. Anyway, of course, they eventually get to their destination and guess what? There are TONS of zombies including a really freaky clown zombie. Overall, Zombieland is a whole lot of fun and that's all I really wanted out of it.
Grade: B