Indiana Jones, The Strangers + June Movie Preview

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Or as I like to call it, Indiana Jones and the Hotness of Shia. Seriously, the only reason I even went to see this movie was because of Shia. My dad said, "Hey wanna go see Indiana Jones?" and I said, "Sure, but I never saw any of the other ones." He said, "That's okay but maybe you should watch them first." And I said, "Yeah, but Shia isn't in them." And Shia was possibly the only good thing about the movie. Well, Shia and Cate Blanchett who I have totally fallen completely in love with since I'm Not There. Maybe I just wasn't completely prepared for how absolutely ridiculous the movie would be (spoiler alert - it's about aliens... really). Or maybe there was just too much CGI craziness. I mean, I'm sure there was a plot in there SOMEWHERE. By the end, it became way too much like National Treasure 2 but with a way hotter supporting cast. I've heard fans of the original series actually really liked it so I guess maybe it's a decent movie. I just didn't like it that much. Except Shia. And Cate and her crazy accent.
Grade: C-


The Strangers - As far as thrillers go, this movie isn't entirely bad. It has some very eerie scenes and at times it's actually quite intense. Other times, however, it's completely cliched and the ending is just so atrocious that it more or less ruins the movie. Overall though the movie starts out pretty well. The acting by Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman is efficient. The strangers are creepy enough. All of the terror is unexplained (which is scarier, right?). There are plot holes galore and inconsistencies that are glaringly obvious. Still, it's a horror movie, right? I mean, half the fun is shaking our head when a character runs in the wrong direction. The movie is intense but it is also shallow. It leaves one distraught and unsatisfied. Overall, the movie is at times intense but mostly lackluster. It's anti-climactic (that ending is just awful!) and at times even boring. Mostly it just makes me really want to see Funny Games even more than I already do. The Stranger is most likely just a mainstream version of that, which I'm sure (hoping) is way better and edgier.
Grade: C-

June Movie Preview...
June 6
Kung Fu Panda - Light and fluffy entertainment. Maybe kids will like.
You Don't Mess with the Zohan - Looks like it might just be the worst movie of the year. I'm sure my dad will want to see it so I just might have to go see it. That way I'll have something for my Worst Of... list.

June 13
The Happening - M. Night Shayadfasldjfaslman endlessly disappoints me (although I am the one person who loved The Village). This is his first R-rated movie. Zooey is in it. Still, I'm just not sure about it.
The Incredible Hulk - I guess we are pretending the first one just didn't exist, right? I can live with that. Edward Norton is in it and I love him but... I can't buy him as a super hero. Like, at all. Plus, the Hulk has already been done. Move on. I mean, I guess it can't be any worse, right?

June 20
Get Smart - My love for Steve Carrell may outweigh my hatred for Anne Hathaway. MAY.
The Love Guru - Oh wait. This might be the worst movie of the year. Justin Timberlake can strut around in a speedo all he wants. This movie still looks totally terrible.

June 27
Wall-E - Now, I am not a fan of kid movies. But, this looks unbelievably adorable that even I may have to see it.
Wanted - James McAvoy and his gorgeous blue eyes in a movie? Yes, please. James McAvoy and his gorgeous blue eyes in a superhero movie? Hell, yes! James McAvoy and his gorgeous blue eyes in a superhero movie co-starring Morgan Freeman? This is pretty much the only June movie I really, really, really want to see!


P.S. My review of Indiana Jones and the Hotness of Shia just might be the only review of Indiana Jones ever in the history of the world that doesn't even mention Harrison Ford.

Stop Loss, Horrorfest, April Movie Preview + more...

Stop Loss - It's been a long time since Kimberly Peirce has graced us with her presence. She, of course, made the amazing Boys Don't Cry way back in 1999 (that movie is the single reason why I still even bother with Hillary Swank). Well, it was worth the wait. She's back with Stop Loss, a gritty, powerful war film that is more about characters and friendships than politics and George Bush. Peirce could have easily taken the easy way out and made a film full of propaghanda and extreme liberal thinking. Instead she made a smart film with no real political agenda. It doesn't glamourize desertion. It's not anti-war. Instead, it focuses on the men who volunteered to fight for our country. This is a movie about soldiers and, if anything, it respects them immensely. The story follows two childhood friends serving together in Iraq - Brandon King (Ryan Phillippe) and Steve Shriver (Channing Tatum). They arrive back in Texas after their tour ends with friend Tommy Burgess (Joseph Gordon-Levitt who is absolutely Oscar worthy - more on him later). All starts well with a night of drinking and dancing. Steve is excited to get back to his fiancee Michelle (Abbie Cornish) but soon drunken fun turns into fights. After that, King learns he has been stop lossed. Instead of being released from the service as his contract states, he is being sent back to Iraq thanks to a clause in the finest of print. This doesn't exactly make him happy and he chooses to fight it instead of go back to war. He figures he's done fighting for his country. He did his job and now it's the armies turn to live up to their side of the agreement. And guess what? You can't really argue that he's wrong. The film is absolutely solid and riveting. It meanders a bit for my taste. I would have prefered much more time with the great ensemble of characters instead of focusing so heavily on Phillippe and Cornish as they cross state lines to try to get answers and help. The acting is all top notch. Phillippe, who is usually very hit or miss for me, is superb and does some very emotional, gritty work. War films usually leave very little for women to work with but Cornish does a great job of playing a woman trying to deal with her fiancee seemingly choosing war over her. Tatum is amazing as well. (I just need to say this - as a film fanatic, I want to thank Kimberly Peirce for this movie, but as a woman, I want to thank Kimberly Peirce for the scene of Tatum digging a foxhole in his underwear). It's tiring to hear people complain that Tatum can't act. Clearly, they haven't seen A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints. And they can't really say that after seeing this movie either. He doesn't have the biggest role but he does wonders with what he has to work with. Then there's Gordon-Levitt. I think it's pretty clear how I feel about him. He's, hands down, the best actor under thirty (forty, even, maybe). He's done increasingly impressive work ever since Manic. His performance here is really amazing. He gives layers and layers of rage that can only be hinted at on a page. He plays an alcoholic who enjoys target practice with the marriage presents he and his wife (Mamie Gummer) recently recieved. He's a little bit funny, a little bit tragic and just plain outstanding. His final scene is riveting. In the hands of a lesser actor, his character could have been completely forgettable but instead, Gordon-Levitt has instead created the perfect picture of a haunted and tormented soul. His performance is amazing and the movie is really the first truly good verging on great film of 2008.
Grade: B+

Wristcutters: A Love Story - Now this is my kind of movie! It's a unique and original idea - people who commit suicide and end up in a place that is just like life only worse. It stars Patrick Fugit and Shannyn Sossoman. It's wacky and enjoyable and quirky and funny and a little depressing but mostly uplifting. It's not exactly groundbreaking or anything but it does serve as a reminder that sometimes you can find beauty in the strangest of places.
Grade: B+

Horrorfest 2008 continues...
Tooth and Nail - I hope I haven't peaked so soon. Last year it took me until near the end of my run to find The Hamiltons and so I appreciated it all the more. I really hope Tooth and Nail isn't the best Horrorfest 2008 has to offer. I mean, it's good compared to the rest of the crap they churn out but it's nothing fantastic. It's a solid 'end of the world' story (I've been watching a lot of those lately) and has it's creepy moments, for sure. It stars Rider Strong and Rachel Miner as a group of survivors during the apocolypse who hide in a hospital to fend off evil cannibal rovers led by the great but underused Michael Madsen. It's interesting how this movie chose to have the world end. Not by war or virus or bacteria. We simply run out of oil. And guess what? That's totally believable to me. The acting is mediocre and the writing is too. It's cheesy at times and a little over the top. Still, for what it's worth, it's not a bad little horror movie.
Grade: C+
Lake Dead - And then there's this... It's like Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets Lake Placid meets The Hills Have Eyes meets some random soft core porn all done by a hack with little talent. And that's putting it nicely. Even mentioning two of those movie titles in the same paragraph with 'Lake Dead' makes me a little sick to my stomach. There is no originality, no style, no substance, no scares, nothing. I just... there's nothing really more to say. It's not getting an F just because there were times when I thought it could possibly be one of those 'so bad it's good' horror movies but it never even gets to that point. Sad.
Grade: D-


April Movie Preview...
April 4
Leatherheads stars George Clooney, Jim from the Office (ha) and Renee Zellweger. Two out of three ain't bad, I guess. Then there is The Ruins. This one has me interested. At face value it looks like just another cheesy horror movie. However, starring Jena Malone never really hurt any movie. Then there is the fact that it's based on a totally rad book. Makes things a little more interesting, now doesn't it? Now that Martin Scorsese has won his Oscar, he can pretty much do whatever the hell he wants... like make a concert film about the Rolling Stones called Shine a Light. I'd pretty much see anything Scorsese made, even if it was a movie about dentists drilling teeth or something.

April 9
Young @ Heart opens in limited release and looks so fricking great I can barely stand it.

April 11
All I can say about Prom Night is - what are these people thinking with the horror movie remakes? Still, I'll probably see it just so I can complain about how people don't have original ideas anymore and they have to taint the name of great original horror movies and no one can make a good horror movie anymore and blah, blah blah. Smart People stars Sarah Jessica Parker (who is NOT the unsexiest woman in the world and I don't care what some stupid magazine says) and Ellen Page. Two of my favorite people together in a movie? You know I wanna see it!

April 18
Al Pacino is BACK in 88 Minutes, a movie about a professor whose life is threatened after he maybe helps lock up the wrong man in a series of murders. It may be cheesy or it may be great. I'm not decided how I feel about it yet. Then there is Forgetting Sarah Marshall which is Judd Apatow's next chance to actually win me over to the dark side. By the way, Mila Kunis > Kristen Bell. Oh, and Bill Hader!!

April 25
Amy Poehler and Tina Fey may be a match made in heaven in Baby Mama. Or it may turn out like The Brothers Solomon, a similarly plotted film that looked great on paper but not so much on film. Deception stars Michelle Williams, Ewan McGregor and Hugh Jackman. I'm not entirely sure what it's about but the cast looks great! Then there is Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo. Yep. You heard me.

March movie preview + more Oscars

March Movie Preview


March 7
10,000 BC - Is this the movie that makes Camilla Belle the star she's meant to be? I mean, she's hotter and more talented than, let's say, Lindsay Lohan. Somehow I doubt this movie is going to be anything spectacular, however.
The Bank Job - Stars Jason Statham and more. About a 1971 robbery that took place at Lloyd's Bank in London. Although it claims to be based on a true story, it seems a big far fetched to me.
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day - And THIS is what I'll be checking out! Amy Adams and her infinite cuteness (I've already forgiven you for the Oscars, Amy) + Frances McDormand and her infinite comic timing = I Can't Wait!
Paranoid Park - Gus Van Sant's movie about a bunch of skateboarders... hey, remember when Larry Clark made a movie about a bunch of skateboarders. It was called 'Wassup Rockers' and I'm sure it was better than this is going to be.
Snow Angels - The cast is pretty impressive: Sam Rockwell, Kate Beckinsale, Michael Angarano, Olivia Thirbly. I do love Sam and Michael and it's directed by David Gordon Green who did All the Real Girls. Probably worth checking out.


March 14
Horton Hears a Who - Oh animated films, our love affair has never begun, hence, this is a skipper for me.
Funny Games - It opens in limited release but I can't wait for this movie. Michael Pitt and Brady Corbet as clean cut, polite, crazy mad men? Talk about perfect casting. They are all blonde haired, blue eyed and they'll cut you! I want this movie NOW!
Never Back Down - Proof that I will be able to get my movie made when I move to Los Angeles. Apparently they just make anything these days.


March 21
Drillbit Taylor - Owen Wilson looks hilarious in this movie! I just hope it's not one of those movies that shows all the funny parts in the trailer.
Shutter - Another PG-13 horror movie about ghostly images in photographs... wasn't that called The Ring? Well, I guess that was video tapes, whatever. Stars Pacey, I mean, Joshua Jackson.


March 28
21 - The best thing about Across the Universe, Jim Sturgess teams up with Kate Bosworth and Kevin Spacey for a movie about MIT geniuses who count cards and win millions in Vegas. Actually looks pretty good.
Stop-Loss - Yes! The world's prettiest cast (Ryan Phillippe, Channing Tatum, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Abbie Cornish, Victor Rasuk, etc.) stars in Kimberley Pierce's follow up to Boys Don't Cry. It's about Iraq and all that. It doesn't matter what it's about, honestly, because with a cast like that, I'll see it if it's about printing telephone books.




Oscars
This is the last you will hear about the Oscars in this blog for a long time... promise! But, at least it's not about THIS years Oscars. It's about NEXT years Oscars. A friend of mine has a web site where he always predicts who will be nominated in the major categories a year in advance. He challenged me to do my picks as well. When Oscar nominations are actually announced, we shall see how terribly badly I did with my predictions! So, here goes nothing...


Best Picture
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Doubt
Frost / Nixon
Milk
Revolutionary Road


Best Director
David Fincher - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Ron Howard - Frost / Nixon
Sam Mendes - Revolutionary Road
Gus Van Sant - Milk
Joe Wright - The Soloist


Best Actor
Benicio Del Toro - The Argentine
Leonardo DiCaprio - Revolutionary Road
Jamie Foxx - The Soloist
Frank Langella - Frost / Nixon
Sean Penn - Milk


Best Actress
Nicole Kidman - Austrailia
Keira Knightley - The Duchess
Julianne Moore - Blindness
Meryl Streep - Doubt
Kate Winslet - Revolutionary Road


Best Supporting Actor
Josh Brolin - Milk
Robert Downey Jr. - The Soloist
Phillip Seymour Hoffman - Doubt
Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight
Michael Sheen - Frost / Nixon


Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams - Doubt
Kathy Bates - Revolutionary Road
Cate Blanchett - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Catherine Keener - The Soloist
Dianne Wiest - Synecdoche, N ew York



Yeah, I'm confident about none of this!

Enchanted, No Country For Old Men, December Movie Preview

Enchanted - Remember when Disney used to make good movies like Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid? Well, they haven't completely lost their touch. Not only is Enchanted, well, enchanting (yeah, with a name like that, they are just asking for it) but also it takes you back to the golden day of Disney films which were full of evil witches, pretty maidens, poison apples and scary dragons. Enchanted is the perfect blend of animation and live action which makes it's story telling a throw back to old school classics while still feeling fresh and unique. The pretty maiden Giselle (Amy Adams) falls in love with Prince Edward (James Marsden) but when his evil step mother Queen (Susan Sarandon) finds out, she sets a trap that sends Giselle to a place where happily ever after doesn't exist - New York City. Prince Edward follows to find his one true love and, well, many a comedic thing happens. While in the Big Apple, Giselle meets a cynical New Yorker named Robert (McDreamy... I mean, Patrick Dempsey... I wonder how Dempsey feels to know there are people out there - me in particular - who only refer to him as McDreamy? That's probably weird, huh?) who she eventually falls in love with eventhough he has a super awesome girlfriend named Nancy who is played by none other than one of my lady crushes Idina Menzel. All hail Idina!!! Sorry, that's a bit off track, yes? Anyway, that's enough plot. There's a lot of singing and dancing and lots of animals and dress making. This movie is really the definition of "light entertainment." It's really such a perfect family movie. I'm a cynical bitch and I even liked the goddamn thing! The casting is just perfect. While McDreamy is not necessarily my type (I'll take McSteamy, thanks), so many women are in love with him that he really makes such a perfect modern day Prince Charming. Susan Sarandon was more or less born to play an evil stepmother / bitchy queen. I just wish she had more screentime. Unfortunately, she was usually animated or in dragon form. If they would have given her a meatier role, she would have been simply divine. James Marsden is absolutely hilarious and perfect. I'll take him over McDreamy ANYDAY! He's just brilliant. I can't really even describe what makes him so perfect for this role but he just is. You'll have to see it to understand. The same can be said for Miss Amy Adams. I think she's going to become huge thanks to this movie. Also, frontrunner for Best Actress Oscar much? My money is on her. She's simply perfect. Her perfection is just almost beyond words. No one else could have possibly played this part but her. She's simply divine. She's finally becoming the star she should have become after her great turn in Junebug. She's at this weird Julia Roberts / Julie Andrews place in her career right now. I say good for her. Anyway, the film is really just great so check it out!

Grade: B

No Country For Old Men - It's very hard for me to review this movie. It almost doesn't really seem like a movie to me. It's more than a movie. It's better than a movie. It's almost like a piece of art, amazingly beautiful. You just want to stand and look at it for hours and hours. The Coen Brothers have definitely crafted a masterpiece here. They knock it out of the park with this violent, pretty western drama. No Country For Old Men is slow-moving and character driven. It's violent and bloody and absolutely beautiful. There's humor aplenty but it is definitely a tough and gritty story. This is a thriller that doesn't disappoint or skimp on the thrills. Javier Bardem gives the absolute best performance of his career (of the year? ...so far). His portrayal is one of unrelenting evil, true derangement. It's a performance about a human being with no humanity. It's one of the greatest psychopathic characters ever captured on film. Yes, ever. The greatest thing about his character is that he is absolutely not cliched in the tiniest way. It's a character whose lunacy and craziness you can enjoy. It's a frightening, terrifying, masterful performance. I felt absolutely nervous and excited every time he graced the screen. Josh Brolin is great as well. He's really had a great year since he was also impressive in Grindhouse / Planet Terror. If Bardem didn't steal this movie in every way possible, you'd surely spend more time talking about Brolin's great performance. Then there's Tommy Lee Jones (who is not too old to be one of my movie star boyfriends). He isn't used much but he's used well. His scenes pepper the movie and add a great understated effect. He's also had a hell of a year with this performance along with his great turn in In the Valley of Elah. Then there's Kelly MacDonald. If it's a slow year in the Best Supporting Actress race (but, really, with all those Atonement women, how could it be?), she could sneak in there. Her final scene on screen is just a revelation to watch. The cinematography (by Roger Deakin) is breathtaking. There are scenes in this movie which are just up there with the best scenes I have ever seen in a film. There is one scene featuring Bardem in a gas station which has little to do with the actual plot development but which is still just a pleasure to watch. I'm not going to talk plot at all because it's better if you go into something like this knowing as little as possible. Be prepared for it to be slow-paced and violent. That's all you need to know. Other than the fact that it's one of the two best movies of the year (unless December REALLY wows me). It's just a masterpiece.

Grade: A+

December Movie Preview

December 5 - Juno hits New York and Los Angeles. At this point, I am tempted to drive to New York just to see this movie. I won't... but that's how much I want to see it. Ellen Page, Jason Bateman, Michael Cera, Allison Janney... my god. This movie looks fantastic.

December 7 - Atonement starts it's limited release. It looks like my kind of love story - epic and potentially tragic. Plus, I love James McAvoy. The Golden Compass opens as well. I wasn't interested in it at all until Inge told me some background on it. Perhaps I'll see it now. I mean, Eva Green and Daniel Craig are in it so that's a plus! Grace is Gone opens in limited. I really hope John Cusack is as good as everyone says he is here. I really hope he'll finally get an Oscar nomination. Unfortunately, the race is probably too heavy at this point.

December 14 - Alvin and the Chipmunks? Me thinks not. I am, however, very excited about seeing I Am Legend. If there's one person I trust saving the world, it's Will Smith. The Kite Runner and Youth Without Youth open in limited release. Which means I probably won't see them this year.

December 21 - Charlie Wilson's War looks surprisingly better than I thought it would. Tom Hanks has an inherent charm about him. Put him with Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Julia Roberts and Amy Adams and, wow. What a line-up! When I see the trailer for National Treasure: Book kof Secrets, all I can think is: "Helen Mirren and Ed Harris are better than this." P.S. I Love You opens and looks... cutesy. That's not a good thing. The best parts are probably the parts with Lisa Kudrow from the trailer. Skip. Sweeney Todd opens as well. I'm disappointed that they are trying to hide the fact that it's a musical. Embrace it! Then there is Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. Might be hilarious. Might be stupid. We'll see.

December 25 - Alien vs. Predator - Requim opens. No, I'm serious. The Bucket List opens in limited release probably just so Jack can try to get another Oscar nomination. Hell, I would give it to him but that's just me. The Water Horse opens for all the little kiddies. I'd say skip it and go see Enchanted again.

December 26 - There Will Be Blood opens in New York. Again, maybe I'll drive there just to see the showdown between one of the great (Daniel Day-Lewis) and one of the upcoming greats (Paul Dano).

December 28 - Two limited releases that I would love to see open in limited: Woody Allen's Cassandra's Dream (eventhough the buzz is NOT good. Still, I would see anything Woody does. And I would recommend anything Woody does... unless it has the words "Jade Scorpion" in the title) and The Orphanage, a creepy Spanish horror movie.

Saw IV, Gone Baby Gone, November film preview

Saw IV - I've seen all the Saw films although I guess I'm not as obsessive about them as some people apparently are. I'm sort of almost indifferent to the original Saw, in retrospect. Saw II was quite possibly one of the worst horror sequels in recent memory. However, I thought Saw III was actually quite enjoyable and easily my favorite of the franchise. Guess what? It remains that way. Saw IV is a solid film as far as fourth installments go, however, if it wasn't part of a highly successful film franchise, it doesn't hold it's own. The story is more or less over. However, the cash is still flowing in so they will continue to churn them out. Saw IV isn't quite the monstrosity of the fourth installments of, say, Friday the 13th or (especially) A Nightmare on Elm Street (and I won't even put Halloween 4 on this list since I absolutely love that movie!). Plus, it's just a little too confusing. Or, well, a lot confusing actually. That's because, like I said, I'm not an obsessive Saw person. I've seen all the Saw's but, I'm sorry, I don't remember every single detail about them. So, when characters pop up from previous films, I'm a little flustered. Anyway, Jigsaw is dead but the game is far from over. And guess what? Even though Jigsaw really is dead, Tobin Bell is still featured heavily and that's a huge plus for the movie as far as I'm concerned. He's a creepy, creepy man. The film opens with the autopsy of his body. It's gross and not for the squeamish. I loved the opening. Saw IV tries to re-capture the essence of the first and third films - gore and shocking twists at the end (although this ending... not so shocking... I figured it out in the first 30 minutes). However, it doesn't work here so well because it's too confusing and it doesn't satisfy as easily. It leaves more holes (that will undoubtedly be filled by more sequels) than it leaves answers. Saw IV is gory. It has, quite possibly, the best death scene captured on film this year (Eric Matthews and two ice blocks... that's all I'll say). I'll give credit where it's due: the film is consistant with the others. There's a lot of backstory about Jigsaw which I found utterly interesting (probably my favorite part of the movie, actually). Luke Danes - I mean, Scott Patterson - shows up as a tough talking cop but he'll always be a tough-talking diner owner in Stars Hollow, Connecticut to me. It's almost a shame because of Saw that we have come to expect the gore. It's not shocking anymore. The movie isn't a total waste of time and the diehard Saw fans might really enjoy it.

Grade: C+

Gone Baby Gone - I learned two things while watching this movie. 1) Ben Affleck is a better director than he is actor. 2) Casey Affleck is, quite possibly, the most underrated actor working right now. This movie will undoubtedly be compared to Mystic River - both are based on books by Dennis Lehane, both are set in Boston, both are directed by actors. And, guess what? Both are great, great movies. If you are a parent, I'm sure your biggest nightmare is the thought of someone kidnapping your child. Well, that's the story here. But the mother in this movie isn't a very good one. Played by the Oscar worthy Amy Ryan, she's a drug addicted, alcoholic who takes her daughter along on drug runs and leaves her home alone at night while she hits the bar downtown. Casey plays a private detective brought in on the case by the aunt of the child. He and his private detective partner/lover (Michelle Monaghan) take on the case and get wrapped up in finding out who took the little girl. They work alongside cops played by Ed Harris and Morgan Freeman. There's a lot of twists and turns here and I don't want to go into plot too much because, really, the movie is just too good and you really just need to see it. The ending is quite possibly my favorite film ending all year. It's simple and it's sad and it's heartbreaking and it's absolutely honest. The movie is heart wrenching, emotional, haunting, intense. This is surely a second chance for Ben Affleck. His acting career seems to have stalled out thanks to a lot of personal escapades but he's back and better than ever as a solid director. There's depth and balance and restraint. The film is beautifully shot at times and very gritty at others. The cast is fantastic. Casey is just stunning and flawless here. I've heard he's better in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (best. movie. title. ever.) but I really can't imagine how he could be any better than he is here. Ed Harris and Morgan Freeman are fantastic but, really, how could they not be? They are always fantastic. Amy Ryan is absolutely mesmerizing to watch. Her character is hardly likeable but you just want to see more of her on screen. Best Supporting Actress come Oscar time? I'd place my money on her. Gone Baby Gone is one of my very favorite movies of this year so far. If I had one criticism, it would be that it almost feels like three movies in one. Still, the Affleck brothers are multi-talented. This movie is deeply disturbing and thoroughly engaging. Just try getting it out of your head.

Grade: A-

November Movie Preview

November 2 - (I know, I'm late but I was on vacation!). Run and see American Gangster. This year's The Departed? Probably not. But I'm up for the showdown between Denzel and Russell. Martian Child looks a little cheesy for my liking but I'll take anything with John Cusack (and I guess this will hold me over until Grace is Gone gets here). Then there's Bee Movie. It makes me very, very sad.

November 9 - After Dark Horrorfest 2007... probably a skipper if I'm judging soley on last year's crop of eight films (one of which was good). Fred Claus opens. It has Kathy Bates, Kevin Spacey and Paul Giamatti playing second fiddle to Vince Vaughn. WHAT!?! Lions for Lambs stars Tom Cruise which is a huge turn off. BUT, it also stars La Meryl which is a huge turn on! No Country For Old Men is a movie I'm very, very excited about. Javier Bardem looks deliciously evil. My kind of man. I know it's only limited but I'll count the days til it opens somewhere in Pennsylvania.

November 16 - Beowulf, Beowulf, Beowulf. Let me tell you a quick story. When I was 10 or so, I was a really weird kid. My favorite book, you ask? Well, it was Beowulf. I've read the goddamn thing approximately 50 times. I love it. But it's torturous to read. Unless this movie is 3 DAYS long, then I don't want to see it. It can't quite possibly cover everything unless it's 3 DAYS long. It's probably not. So I don't want to see it. Margot at the Wedding opens in limited release. I love me some Noah Baumbach and some Jennifer Jason Leigh so I can't wait until it comes somewhere in my vacinity! Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium makes me feel a little sick to my stomach. Even the name is sugary sweet. But, the cast is amazing - Natalie Portman, Dustin Hoffman and, one of my movie star boyfriends, Jason Bateman.

November 21 - August Rush looks cheesy but Jonathan Rhys Meyers is one of my movie star boyfriends. Those eyes! Those cheek bones! Those lips! Yeah, I'll see this movie. Enchanted actually looks really, really cute for a kid movie. Amy Adams is almost too adorable for words. Hitman stars Timothy Olyphant. I'm not sure about it. I'm Not There opens in limited release and, man, I can't wait to see Cate Blanchett take a stab at Bob Dylan! Stephen King's The Mist looks like most Stephen King movies. And that's not a good thing.

November 28 - The Savages stars Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney. I think every movie should star Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney.

November 30 - A really solid film month ends with the release of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. I've heard good things so I'm excited to see it.

In the Valley of Elah, Feast of Love, and more!

In the Valley of Elah - There are people who didn't like Paul Haggis' directorial debut Crash because it was soapy and over-dramatic. I absolutely loved Crash but I do understand where said critics are coming from. The thing about In the Valley of Elah is that it proves that Haggis embraced one of the most wonderful tools a director has in his arsenal: restraint. Instead of going with the interconnected multiple story lines, Elah follows one main story throughout the film. Instead of going for the overly-emotional, this film embraces understated performances, namely from Tommy Lee Jones who is just spectacular in this movie. It is actually very brave of Haggis to make serious changes to the style that won him Best Picture at the Oscars. It's even more impressive that it works so well for him. To the story, Hank (Jones, in his best performance) goes searching for his son (Jonathan Tucker - although he's barely in it) and he meets a lot of military people who don't really want to tell him much. He tries to get help from the cops. At first they don't want to help him find out where his son is either. He starts investigating by himself but is soon joined by a cop played by Charlize Theron. One of the things I like about the movie is it doesn't preach it's message. Clearly, it's got quite a few negative things to say about the war in Iraq but it's all done very subtley and the film isn't a two hour tirade against it. Tommy Lee Jones' performance could quite possibly be the best of his career. He is the strong, silent type and brings so much emotion to the role. Theron is strong as well but nothing to write home about. Sarandon may be a tad underused but she's powerful and perfect when she's featured. The film isn't necessarily long (2 hours) but it feels long. At first I wasn't sure I liked the ending but the more I think about it, the more I do. I was waiting for a conspiracy, the other shoe to drop, so to speak. But, sometimes, the motives for things aren't so cut and dry. War changes people. In the Valley of Elah is a strong film about the effects of war on people. It's also a solid crime thriller. I'm not sure it will win Best Picture but there will probably be at least three Oscar nominations (Jones, Sarandon, Screenplay). It's an easy film to get interested in. It's captivating and very moving.

Grade: B

Feast of Love - Honestly, I wasn't expecting much from this movie. I thought it was going to be just another sappy, cheesy love story. But I was pleasantly surprised. It's a funny, smart, sexy, tragic story about relationships - not just romantic relationships but the relationships we form with different people in our lives. The movie stars Morgan Freeman as Harry, a college professor who is struggling with the death of his son to a drug overdose and who extends his leave of absence at the University of Portland. Meanwhile, he becomes a sort of father figure to numorous other characters including Bradley's (Greg Kinnear) hopeless romantic but bad luck with love coffee shop owner. At first he's married to Kathryn (Selma Blair). But then she leaves him for another woman. Next he gets married to Diana (Radha Mitchell) who is having an affair with a married man, David, played by Billy Burke. The affair was going on before she met Bradley and it continues up until she marries Bradley and then continues when she leaves Bradley for David. While Bradley is unlucky in love, star crossed young lovers Chloe and Oscar (Alexa Davalos and Toby Hemingway - each prettier than the other) fall in love at first sight and their passion and love overcomes the fact that they have no money, only a dream for the future where they'll live in a house with a foyer. This film peels back the layers of humanity and explores the different personalities within people. The number of intimate moments (so much nudity) and personal insecurities are too many to count and list. But isn't that like in real life? This film is very realistic. Very rarely do you see movies like this on-screen. Is it a little watered down? Sure. But it's more realistic than most 'romance' movies. The best story line probably follows Freeman and Jane Alexander as an interracial couple hurting deeply from the loss of their son but the strength of their relationship allows them to deal with the grief in separate ways. It's no light-hearted chick flick. Thank God! It's interesting and tender and heartbreaking and just plain realistic. It's not a romantic drama. It's a human drama and it's surprisingly endearing.

Grade: B-

Hot Fuzz - The movie is mostly funny and well done. Lots of great action film throw backs. However, it's about 25 minutes too long. Still, enjoyable. Grade: C+

The Game Plan - Ugh. There were a few things I laughed at so it makes it better than Good Luck Chuck, for sure. The Rock isn't a great actor but at the very least he has charm and charisma. Predictable. Whatever. Grade: D+

October Movie Preview

October 5 - I'll be rushing to see Feel the Noise since I love urban dance movies. The Heartbreak Kid, I guess, is the big draw. I'm not really a fan of Ben Stiller's but I'll check it out anyway. In non-movie news, the new season of Friday Night Lights premieres. If you don't watch it, you don't know what you're missing. It's the best show on television. Period.

October 12 - Michael Clayton opens wide. I can take or leave George Clooney but I'll be there because of Tilda Swinton and Tom Wilkinson (who looks like he rocks this movie!). Elizabeth: The Golden Age opens. Cate Blanchett will probably be Oscar nominated. The movie stars a lot of pretty people - Cate, Clive Owen, Abbie Cornish, Samantha Morton. Too bad the whole thing just looks so unnecessary. Lars and the Real Girls opens in limited so if you live in a city you can see Ryan Gosling have sex with a blow-up doll. Color me jealous. Then there is a potentially good / potentially bad movie starring one of my movie star boyfriends (I should make a list of them all, huh?). We Own The Night stars Joaquin Phoenix and I'll be there because he's SEXY.

October 19 - The coolest idea for a vampire movie EVER opens, 30 Days of Night and it stars Ben Foster so you know it's going to be way cool. Some probably-dumb sports movie spoof called The Comebacks open. Jan from The Office is in it. Too bad that won't make me go see it. Ben Affleck's directorial debut Gone Baby Gone opens. It stars his younger (cooler) brother Casey Affleck. It's based on a book by the guy that wrote Mystic River. It may be awesome. We'll see if Ben is a better director than he has been an actor lately. Rendition opens. It stars lots of Oscar winners/nominees (Meryl! Reese! Jake! - Peter Sarsgaard gets no love in the trailer because he's never been nominated). I sort of think this movie has TRAINWRECK written all over it. Reservation Road opens in limited. More Joaquin although the movie looks like an In The Bedroom rip-off. Things We Lost in the Fire opens. It stars Halle Berry and Benicio Del Toro. The trailer is, quite possibly, the worst trailer ever made. I have faith in Benicio. I do NOT have faith in Halle. Wristcutters: A Love Story opens in very limited release. With a name like that, man, you know it's my kind of movie.

October 26 - The trailer for Dan in Real Life only makes me feel sad for Steve Carrell and his choice of films as of late. But it doesn't matter almost because no one is going to see that movie. Wanna know why? Saw IV opens. I liked the first one, hated the second one and loved the third one. We'll see where this one falls in the spectrum.

Halloween, The Nanny Diaries, Summer Movie Wrap-Up, September Preview

Halloween - As far as I'm concerned, there are four perfect horror movies. I use the word 'horror' to mean both slashers and psychological horror films. Anyway, those four movies are (in no particular order): The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Rosemary's Baby, The Shining and, of course, Halloween. When I heard they were remaking Halloween, I was aprehensive at best. I mean, remake HALLOWEEN?!?! But then I heard that Rob Zombie was doing it. If I trust anyone to make a horror movie these days, it's Rob Zombie. After all, his films House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil Rejects are quite simply the best horror movies since the Scream trilogy. But, still, remake HALLOWEEN!?!?! I don't even think I was this upset about The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. Anyway, I thought I would be terribly disappointed or terribly impressed. And I was right. First of all, let us discuss my number one pet peeve with modern horror movies (remakes and 'original' ideas (keep in mind I'm using the word original very, very loosely)). The villain does not have to be a 6'10", 300 pound NFL linebacker / pro-wrestler / Amazon warrior to be scary. The thing that makes Michael Myers and Leatherface and even Freddy and Jason scary is the fact that they are just plain crazy evil. It's not that they are super fast and super big and super scary. Now, what was so great about the original Halloween? Well, we are introduced to a little kid who, for no apparent reason, stabs his sister to death. We are given the impression that he's a normal kid from a normal family in a middle class suburban neighborhood. There is no motive, no warning, nothing. The kid just snaps. Nothing motivates this kid to kill. Michael Myers is pure evil. And it's terrifying. The kid never talks again. He spends fifteen years in a little cell, staring at walls, giving no sign of remorse or anger or hatred. He just sits and the only thing left inside him is the evil. (When he escapes, he goes after the only remaining member of his family. Why? We have no fricking idea. And it's terrifying.) While at the psychiatric ward, Michael meets Dr. Loomis, a man who spends his entire life trying to understand Michael. After years and years and years, he comes to the simple conclusion that there is nothing inside Michael but evil. This absolutley shatters his world. His ambition to help people and understand them and find humanity is destroyed. He becomes obssesed with Michael (and doesn't try to cash in by writing a fucking book). Anyway, few movies have captured the feelings of evil, fear, doubt, hopelessness and isolation so well. I don't think Rob Zombie understands any of this. People say: "Keep in mind, this isn't John Carpenter, it's Rob Zombie." I know. Believe me, I know. And I like Rob Zombie a lot (he's no John Carpenter, but who is really?). I knew the movie would be vulgar and violent and filled with sex and loud music and lots of blood and gore and everything else you associate with Rob Zombie. I was prepared for it. I just wasn't prepared to leave the theatre feeling so simply disappointed. Let's take one of the classic horror movies ever and just make a simple little story about an angst ridden kid from a white-trash family who has a stripper for a mother, an abusive and alcoholic stepfather and is bullied at school. Am I surprised that this kid would kill his sister (whole family, whatever)? Not at all. And it doesn't scare me in the least. Then there's the Loomis character. This is what I was most worried about. Who would play Dr. Loomis? No one can come close to the late, great Donald Pleasance. I love Malcolm McDowell and I think he does his best with what he has to work with here. The performance itself is very well done and he's trying to do his best to make Pleasance proud. It's not entirely his fault that his character was turned into a money hungry doctor who authors a book and uses the story of Michael as a cash-cow. Loomis never would have had sympathy for Michael. Their relationship was one of hatred and hopelessness. What I should have worried about more was the casting of Laurie Strode. If Jamie Lee Curtis ever meets Taylor Scout-Compton in a dark alley, I'm pretty sure she'll kick her scrawny little ass. Jamie Lee is the one and only scream queen. Scout-Compton's sorry excuse for acting involves squealing the entire time and turning Laurie into some immature, horny teenager. Laurie was innocent and sweet and you wanted her to make it out alive. I wish Michael would have killed this annoying version of Laurie. It's hard to believe a movie that involves so many cool people (McDowell, Bill Moseley, Danny Trejo, Sheri Moon Zombie, Brad Dourif, Halloween 4 and 5 alum Danielle Harris) could be so disappointing. There are a few interesting things about the movie (little eleven year old Michael murders a nurse with a fork). I also liked the idea that Michael was the main character and not Laurie. Still, by giving us a lame backstory and a 7 foot superhuman monster, this remake takes away all the frights, all the mystery, all the suspense. There's really nothing terrifying about this movie at all.
Grade: D

The Nanny Diaries - This movie is forgettable at best since I saw it two days ago and can barely remember what it's about. Still, it's cute at times (who knew I would like this movie slightly better than Halloween, seriously). Anyway, it stars the too-gorgeous-for-this-movie Scarlett Johansson as a recent college graduate who doesn't know what she wants to do with her life. Does she want to follow her dream and study anthropology or does she want to give into the beast and work in the corporate world? Well, she decides to put everything on hold and become a nanny for rich New York City upper East Side Family. Dad (Paul Giamatti) is a workaholic with a likelihood for pre-marital flings. Mom (Laura Linney) is too busy for her son Grayer. Not busy with work, busy with shopping and spas and planning benefits for kids who are not her own. I've heard the book is witty and provacative. I haven't read it but if that's true, then the movie is a watered down version. There's a sort of whimsical quality to the film (the flying red umbrella... seriously?) that just didn't work at all. If the film was a little more cutting and dark then it would have been a whole lot better. Meanwhile, Scarlet's Annie is in love with the Harvard Hottie (Chris Evans) upstairs but she can't date him because her employers don't approve of dating and she thinks he'd be slumming by dating her (seriously, Scarlett? Fuck you). Anyway, Annie really wants to quit the job but finds herself actually caring about the little brat so she sticks it out for a time for him. Blah, blah, blah. Boring? Yes. The movie was cute... but, from what I've heard about the book, I'm pretty sure that's not what they were going for. The movie can most accurately be described as a wasted opportunity. There's so much talent here. What went wrong? It's more Lifetime movie of the week than anything. And I'm sure I'll completely forget about it in a few weeks.
Grade: D+

Summer Movie Wrap Up (from Memorial Day to Labor Day, from best to worst...)
Bug - A
Superbad - A-
Sicko - B+
Live Free or Die Hard - B+
Hot Rod - B+
Hairspray - B
Evening - B
Stardust - B
Broken English - B-
No Reservations - B-
Hostel: Part II - B-
1408 - C+
Knocked Up - C+
Becoming Jane - C-
The Nanny Diaries - D+
A Mighty Heart - D+
Ocean's 13 - D+
Spiderman 3 - D+
Halloween - D
Transformers - D
Mr. Brooks - D
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - D-
Evan Almighty - D-
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - F
Captivity - F

September Movie Preview
September 7 - I'm pretty excited to see 3:10 to Yuma. I know it's a Western and I hate Westerns but Ben Foster, Christian Bale and Peter Fonda can't do wrong, right? Well, that's debateable, I guess but it's getting solid reviews and so I'm pretty excited. I am not, however, excited for Shoot 'Em Up. Are Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti serious? It looks like the worst kind of action movie. Then there's The Brothers Solomon. You all know that I wish Will Arnett was my boyfriend. I'll see it and I don't really care if it's stupid. Finally there is The Hunting Party. It stars Richard Gere and Terrence Howard and it reminds me of this dream I had one time (except my dream wasn't really about a television crew in a war torn area).

September 14 - I am shaking in anticipation for Across the Universe. Sure it doesn't go wide until the 21st but this could be the best movie of the year. Or a huge mess. We'll see. Then there's In the Valley of Elah. Who suggested that Paul Haggis name his movie that? It sounds awful but is pretty Oscar baity. As the follow up to Crash, there will be a lot of eyes on this movie about trying to find out what really happened to a soldier who disappeared from Iraq. It stars Oscar winners Tommy Lee Jones, Susan Sarandon and Charlize Theron. Jodie Foster also tries to prove that she's not really a serious actress and is a kick-ass action star instead with the revenge flick The Brave One. Could be interesting, actually.

September 21 - My movie star boyfriend Sean Penn takes a detour into director town with a star studded cast (William Hurt and Catherine Keener... it was like this dream I had). The trailer looks great. With a stellar cast, how could it possibly disappoint? Then there's the Oscar hopeful Good Luck Chuck. Dane Cook and Jessica Alba are definitely on my short list. Resident Evil: Extinction may only be the third but it feels like the 30th. Sydney White stars Amanda Bynes so all the little girls will show up, for sure. The Jane Austen Book Club stars Hugh Dancy, so I'll show up, for sure. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford may be the coolest title for a movie ever and I may go just to see Casey Affleck kill Brad Pitt (it's like this dream I had...).

September 28 - The trailer for Feast of Love has been before pretty much every movie I've seen in the last two months. It looks... cute. That blonde haired boy may be my temporary movie star boyfriend (at least until James McAvoy makes his triumphant return to the screen in Atonement in December). The Kingdom stars a bunch of actors who annoy me but everyone else loves. I might pass. Lust, Caution opens in limited release. It is directed by Ang Lee and got an NC-17 rating. I won't pass.

September 29 - The Darjeeling Limited opens in New York City only. That means it won't come to Pennsylvania until, like, November. Dammit!