The Mechanic (DVD)

Listen, I'm just as surprised as you are, but I actually didn't hate The Mechanic. There are few things I like more than a movie featuring Ben Foster. Especially when Ben Foster (probably the best actor under 35, who should be getting better roles like his contemporaries Ryan Gosling and James Franco do) is a bad ass, cold blooded assassin who likes to wear fedoras and vests. I will not go so far as to say that I outright liked The Mechanic, but it wasn't a complete waste of time, especially for a movie that stars Jason Statham, someone so keen on making mindless action flicks that have no merit whatsoever.

Statham stars as Arthur Bishop, an enigmatic assassin who is the best at his job. He can get in and out of a highly guarded house without any security officers having even the slightest feeling that something is amiss. He makes murders look like accidents or natural causes. He is sort of like a ghost, coming and going without anyone noticing. He lives alone in a house you can only get to via boat. He has no girlfriend, no friends, nothing. Except his mentor, Harry, played by Donald Sutherland. Harry co-owns some sort of underground organization with Tony Goldwyn's Dean. They have a group of assassins that take out high ranking people for loads of money. However, Harry has back stabbed the company and Dean hires Arthur to take him out. Eventually, perhaps from remorse, Arthur begins to mentor Harry's failure of a son, Stephen (Foster!). Stephen is young and angry and Arthur tries to teach him and help him become a killer. Of course, not everything is at it seems.

For a mindless action movie, this one isn't quite so bad. I was fully expecting to hate it and have a movie for my end of the year worst list, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, it's sort of enjoyable if you ignore all the plot holes and character flaws. For one, Arthur is such a highly intelligent man, you think he would realize the danger of taking a hot head like Stephen under his wing, but he doesn't seem to mind or even take it into consideration. The direction is just fine although some of the action scenes tend to be a bit dizzying. The movie has some pacing problems as it so easily goes from being fast paced, entertaining and enjoyable to boring and slow. Statham is fine, and he should be as he has played this exact role approximately fifteen times by now. Sutherland is as good as to be expected from a legend who only has a few scenes. Goldwyn is menacing in a very good way. But it's Foster, OF COURSE, who steals the show. He is always so much better than his surroundings. While I've loved quite a few of his movies, I always love him, even if the movie disappoints me. I wish he would finally get a showy Oscar baity role because he totally deserves to win an Oscar at some point in his career. I've always thought maybe he was too weird for Oscar, but if Franco can be nominated (and he's slightly insane, I think), then Foster surely isn't too out there. Anyway, he's great here as the wayward son, the angry young man who wants both acceptance and revenge.

Overall, I would have liked it had the movie ended ten minutes sooner. The end was a little bit too much, I think: too many twists, too many explosions. Still, The Mechanic is not nearly as bad as you might think. It's actually a pretty entertaining action movie, great mindless entertainment for a rainy day.

Grade: C+

The Other Woman (DVD)

Another day, another Natalie Portman movie. Here she is in her 52nd role of 2011, starring in the straight to DVD drama The Other Woman, which isn't necessarily a bad movie. The main problem with this movie (and, man, I know I've been focusing on the problems lately, but there are just so many mediocre movies out there) is that none of the main characters are the least bit likable. The most likable of the main cast is Jack (Scott Cohen), and he's a lawyer who impregnates another woman while still married to his wife. Then there's his wife Carolyne (Lisa Kudrow), who pretty much is just a bitter, awful woman. The two of them have a son named William (Charlie Tahan) who is every bit the brat you imagined he might be. Then there's Portman, starring as Emilia (yes with an E). Emilia is pretty much the worst. She actively pursues a married man. She lies, she cheats, she treats her step son like crap and she never takes responsibility for any of it. Oh, I guess the moral of the story is that we are all unlikeable at some point in our lives and we all make mistakes and blah, blah, blah. And all of these characters find a way to redeem themselves in the end, but by then it's too late. An hour and forty minutes has gone by and the viewer doesn't give a crap about any of these people.

The Other Woman is based on a novel called Love and Other Impossible Pursuits. It follows Portman's Emilia, an associate at a law firm. She quickly falls for one of the partner's at the firm, despite the fact that he is married and has a son. The two begin an affair, Emilia insisting that she doesn't want to get married or any of it. Soon, she is accidentally pregnant and getting married to the recently divorced Jack. It seems these two love birds, who have made a very mature, well thought out decision to get married, are headed toward a blissful life together, right? Well, not so much. Their newborn baby dies after just three days and Emilia is swallowed by her grief, so much so that she becomes careless with other people's feelings and safety. The movie is basically about her complicated and tumultuous relationship with her step son, with the sort of secondary relationship being that of her marriage, that is slowly and surely falling apart. Also, I guess it's a sort of meditation on the definition of family, or whatever.

Directed by Don Roos, who also directed the brilliant 90s dark comedy The Opposite of Sex, The Other Woman is mostly a disappointment. There are a lot of weighty issues that are presented in the movie, and yet, the script seems to only skim the surface. For a movie that deals with guilt, loss, sorrow, and a whole crapload of other heavy emotions, the movie is not nearly as deep as it needs to be. The movie is basically a superficial soap opera with a good cast. And I can't really complain about the cast all that much. Kudrow, who has carved out a nice niche for herself post-Friends as a super bitch, is always enjoyable, though her character here is too one-dimensional. Cohen, best known for his work on Gilmore Girls, is fine but unspectacular. Tahan is quite the little revelation and probably gives the best performance. Portman is great, as always. I always expect great performances from her and she usually delivers. It's a shame she had to spend so much of her screen time either whining or crying, but she works well with what she's got. It was also quite nice to see Rent's Anthony Rapp and Six Feet Under's Lauren Ambrose in small roles, even if they were both quite unsubstantial.

All in all, I feel like this movie had so much potential - a great cast, a fantastic director, based on a respected book - but, ultimately, failed to deliver. This could have been a wonderfully deep and dark look at the way a woman overcame her sorrow and grief and learned to turn her life around. Unfortunately, too much time was spent on our characters while they were doing terrible things, and, in the end, we just don't care about them at all. Still, if you can manage to sit through a soapy drama, then the performances are more than worth it.

Grade: C-

The Roommate (DVD)

Look, I can relate to Minka Kelly's character Sara. My roommate freshman year in college was bat shit crazy too. Okay, so she wasn't psychotic crazy. She didn't kill any of my ex-boyfriends or stick my cat in a dryer or anything. But she totally did have a few failed suicide attempts, an overdose or two and alcohol poisoning. Now she has a child. Which makes me utterly frightened for the future of our society. But I regress.

The Roommate stars Minka Kelly (a gorgeous girl who I'm not completely sure can act, but hell, is she nice to look at... sort of like this entire cast) as Sara. Sara is a freshman at the fictitious University of Los Angeles and her roommate is this sweet, shy, kinda weird girl named Rebecca (Leighton Meester). Anyway, Sara is super popular and has many paramours, including her ex-boyfriend Jason (Matt Lanter), new boyfriend Stephen (Cam Gigandet) and even one of her professors (Billy Zane, who is SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS!). She's also got tons of friends (Aly Michalka and Danneel Harris). And she's also got a roommate who is off her meds and completely nutso. I'm not sure if Rebecca wants to be Sara's best friend, or actually steal her life, but whatever. She sets out to get back at anyone who does Sara wrong or anyone who is closer to her than she is. Just think Single White Female except way less awesome, with actors who can't really act, set in college.

So, yes, the good part is the cast is incredibly good-looking, like the cast of a CW TV show (which, ironically, most of these actors come from). And Meester, who is famous for playing Blair Waldorf on Gossip Girl, can play crazy and evil pretty well sometimes (although she totally over acts parts of the third act). As for the good parts? That's about all I've got! This "thriller" isn't thrilling. There's nothing tense or spooky or frightening about this movie at all. The plot is stolen from a ton of other movies, especially the aforementioned Single White Female. It's sort of a cheap knock off of that film, a remake without really remaking it. The difference, of course, is that Bridget Fonda and Jennifer Jason Leigh could act circles around Meester and Kelly without even trying. It's also just not very plausible. I know there wouldn't be a movie or anything (which wouldn't be a bad thing) but Sara should have asked a few more questions, been a bit more aware, paid a little more attention and she probably could have saved herself a few months of grief. She seemed like a smart enough girl. Anyway, the worst of it is that we are supposed to be on Team Minka. But guess what? Meester's performance is the only thing relatively interesting about this movie so you find yourself immediately drawn to sympathize with her. What is her back story? Why are her parents so damn weird? What happened with her high school "friend," Maria? What exactly is she after? You just don't get any answers. Perhaps if the script was less concerned with being hip and cool (it's neither), it could have delved a little further into character development and actually presented us with a protagonist we care about and a villain that is well-rounded and interesting. After all, when villains are done really, really well, they are the most fascinating thing about thrillers.

But all of that is just speculation because the movie does none of that. The writing is sloppy. The directing is trite. The performances are all severely lacking. Except for Meester, who is so close to being good. If she had better writing, this could have been a revelatory performance for her. Instead, she's stuck being the best thing about a really crappy movie full of pretty people who can't act.

Grade: D

No Strings Attached (DVD)

There is a major problem with No Strings Attached. The movie presents itself as a smart, funny, rauncy, romantic comedy. The problem? Well, it's just not funny. That's not to say it's bad, per se. Because it's not. If you go into it expecting a cliche romance with a pretty stellar cast then you probably won't be disappointed. It's not bad, just not necessarily good either. It's just sort of average in every way.

Recent Oscar winner Natalie Portman stars as Emma, a young woman who is really good at being alone. She's currently doing her residency in order to become a doctor so she has very little time to date. Plus, she doesn't really like relationships anyway. Enter Adam (Ashton Kutcher). The two originally meet at a summer camp when they are 14. Their lives intersect a few times before they decide to be friends with benefits (ironically the name of a movie with this exact same plot that will be out in a few months starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake). They set a series of ground rules, such as no cuddling, no listing each other as an emergency contact, etc. If you have ever, ever, ever seen a romantic "comedy" in your entire life, then I'm sure you can see where this one is going. They fall in love! But Emma is such an emotional wreck, she completely messes it up! But, don't fret, they work things out and live happily ever after!

The cast is what makes this movie worth it. Portman is way better than she has to be in a lame romance movie. Kutcher is likeable and charming. The supporting cast is ridiculously talented (probably too talented to be in a movie like this). Mindy Kaling (the best thing about The Office), Chelsea Handler regular Guy Branum and Greta Gerwig star as Emma's fantastic best friends, friends who you'd like to have as your own. Olivia Thirlby (who I love to death) is Emma's sister, but is all but wasted in her role. Ludacris and Jake Johnson are Adam's best friends, the ones who actually get all two or three of the funny lines in the movie. Lake Bell is his neurotic co-worker who has a massive crush on him. Then there is Kevin Kline who stars as his fading movie star dad who has begun to date his ex-girlfriend Vanesa (Ophelia Lovibond).

The best part of the movie is probably the 30 second clip of a bluegrass band covering the song "99 Problems" by Jay-Z. More of that, please! The direction is fine and the script is ok as well. I mean, it's a well written, smart movie... it's just not funny at all. And when you are presenting your movie as a romantic COMEDY, it should probably be funny. Instead, No Strings Attached is just a cute cliche. Thank goodness the movie is rated R because at least it gets to be a little raunchy. If it was PG-13, it probably would have been nearly unwatchable. The movie is about casual, no strings attached sex and on that front, it works well. I think it presents the sitation as realistically as possible. So, all in all, the movie is cute and the characters are likeable. It's not a bad movie, just predictable in every single way. And it completely fails in what it sets out to do, which is be funny.

Grade: C

Bridesmaids

Don't be fooled - Bridesmaids is not a chick flick. And it's not a female version of The Hangover. It's just a damn good, well-written movie that happens to be hilarious. Yes, it does set the bar for R-rated comedies this year. Yes, it's the funniest thing I've seen in theaters since, probably (and ironically), The Hangover. Yes, it's the best movie of 2011 (so far). Yes, my outpouring of overwhelming love for this movie may be because of two things: 1. It's refreshing as hell to have a movie that realistically portrays female friendships, and 2. I may have more things in common with Kristin Wiig's character than I care to admit right now.

So, anyway, Wiig (who also co-wrote the script) plays Annie. Annie once owned a bakery in Milwaukee but the store went under and now she works at a jewelry store although she hates it. She's single, although she's sleeping with a not-so-nice guy (played by Jon Hamm). She's also taken aback when her best friend since childhood Lillian (Maya Rudolph) suddenly gets engaged. Lillian seems to have it all - she's successful and in love. To Annie, it seems her life is a disaster compared to her best friends. Lillian asks Annie to be her maid of honor and, thus, she is thrown into a world with a lot of hilarious women. There is Rita (Wendi McLendon-Covey), Lillian's cousin who is married with three kids and disgusted by all of it. There is Becca (Ellie Kemper) who is a giggly, adorable newlywed who loves Pixar and has only slept with her husband. There's Megan (SCENE STEALER EXTRAORDINAIRE Melissa Mccarthy) who is... well, you have just got to experience her. And there's Helen (Rose Byrne). Annie may be Lillian's oldest and best friend, but Helen is Lillian's new best friend. She's gorgeous. She's rich. And she goes out of her way to make sure Lillian has the most extravagant of everything. Of course, Annie is a little bit jealous.

So, the movie follows these magnificent, well written, completely fleshed out characters over the course of a few weeks (or months). It follows these women through hilarious ups and downs: the well-intentioned but ultimately ill-fated pre-fitting meal at a Brazilian restaurant, the Parisian themed bridal shower, and the hilarious bacherlorette trip to Vegas (which, I'm saying this right now - you will not see anything funnier this year than the scene on the plane. No joke. It is the single funniest thing I have seen in a movie in I don't know how long). You recognize these women, maybe as yourself or maybe as your best friend or a co-worker or a family member. Maybe instead of referring to ourselves as "Carrie's" and "Charlotte's", we can now start referring to ourselves as "Megan's" and "Helen's." (I've got dibs on Annie!). You become friends with these women over the course of this movie, which is what draws you into it. But, also, of course, it's funny as hell.

From director Paul Feig ("Freaks and Geeks") and super-producer Judd Apatow, this movie is both heartfelt and hilarious. The performances are all top notch, with Wiig carrying this film with her humor and likability. Even when her life is falling apart and she's making bad decisions, you still cheer for her, because, well, she's you or someone you know. Rudolph is great as Lillian and Byrne is fantastic as the bitch with a heart of gold Helen. As is Chris O'Dawd in the lone male role (Annie's adorable cop paramour). However, it's Melissa McCarthy that steals the show. Everyone will be taking about her ballsy, take-no-prisoners amazing performance. You probably know her as Sookie on Gilmore Girls, but she'll make you forget all about that here. She's fantastic and hopefully she will get tons more movie roles to prove it in the future.

So, Bridesmaids is a hilarious and well-written movie. And while girls will appreciate the female friendship dynamic of the movie and relate to the relationships, this movie is so funny that it will certainly appeal to both sexes. Not only does it have the best movie poster of the year, so far, but it is also the best movie of the year, so far.

Grade: B+