Mini Reviews

The Drop
Stars: Tom Hardy, Noomi Rapace, James Gandolfini
Plot: An adorable abandoned pit bull plays a pretty big part in this story about a robbery at a bar used as a drop location for the mob.
Thoughts: I wanted to write a full review for this movie right after I saw it but I couldn't quite find the right words to describe how much I loved this damn movie. Based on a short story by Dennis Lehane and featuring superb performances by Hardy and Gandolfini, The Drop is easiest the best slow burn crime thriller I've seen since Mystic River.
Grade: A

Palo Alto
Stars: James Franco, Emma Roberts, Nat Wolff,  Jack Kilmer
Plot: A bunch of bored teenagers drink and party and mess around with strangers and teachers.
Thoughts: What a waste of time and talent. It's not that this movie was bad, just sort of boring and unnecessary.  It has it's moments - Kilmer, son of Val, is crazy cute the way his dad once was and Wolff is phenomenal,  stealing the movie with ease. But mostly it's a bore.
Grade: C

A Long Way Down
Stars: Pierce Brosnon, Toni Collette, Aaron Paul, Imogen Poots
Plot: Based on the novel by Nick Hornby, the movie follows four strangers who meet and form a pact when they all try to kill themselves on New Years Eve.
Thoughts: It's a fine adaptation of a fine book. The casting is pretty right on and all of the acting surely elevates a plot that somehow feels less ridiculous on screen than it did on the page. This movie is not anything special or amazing buy it's nice and Poots is my new girl crush.
Grade: B-

The Other Woman
Stars:Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann
Plot: A successful lawyer finds out her boyfriend has a wife and then the wife and the mistress bond when they realize he's cheating on them both but it's with Kate Upton so they are all, sure, that makes sense.
Thoughts: I found this movie mostly infuriating, disgusting and slightly offensive. However, it has a few charming parts, most of which concern Mann who I adore. I would just about watch her in anything. Obviously.
Grade: D+

Bad Teacher

The problem with Bad Teacher is that it's not nearly as funny as it thinks it is. There are some good laughs, sure, but for every minute of laughter, there are ten minutes of boring, badly written, trite nonsense. That doesn't really add up in the end. The actors are definitely the saving factor here because the script really isn't good. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Thank God for Jason Segel!

Bad Teacher follows Cameron Diaz as Elizabeth Halsey, a first year teacher who makes a big to-do at the end of the year celebration about leaving to get married. However, moments later, she gets dumped by her super rich fiancee because he realized what a gold digging bitch she really is. Flash forward to the beginning of the next school year, when Elizabeth returns to her true calling as a teacher. No, not really. She's pretty much the worst teacher ever, as you have already garnered from the trailer. She doesn't learn her students names. She drinks and smokes weed on the job. She thinks teaching is equivalent to showing Dangerous Minds in class. But she is determined to save enough money so she can get a boob job and meet a rich man. Then she meets Justin Timberlake's brand new teacher. Seems he is the heir of a watchmaking fortune and Elizabeth hones in on him, even though he is the biggest douchebag in all of teaching. Throw in Lucy Punch as a perky rival teacher and Jason Segal as the hilarious gym teacher with the hots for Elizabeth and you've got yourself a semi-raunchy predictable comedy.

Like I said, the writing is bad, but the actors do their best with what they've been given. Diaz is very good at playing unlikeable. Her character is sort of a walking disaster and she does a lot of very terrible things, but you still somehow manage to find yourself cheering for her. I have been praising Timberlake's talents as an actor for a very long time. And while I wasn't as impressed with him in The Social Network as everyone else was, I think he was damn near perfect in Alpha Dog a few years back. His character here is so under developed and badly written, that it's not entirely his fault that his performance is sort of lackluster and one-note. Lucy Punch all but steals the show as the perky, perfect rival to Elizabeth. She is absolute perfection and a bonefied scene stealer. Then there is Jason Segel, who I love so much, as the sweet and funny gym teacher who is a little bit naughty and completely endearing. I wish Jason Segel could be in every movie, honestly. Throw in a few small roles by Molly Shannon (completely pointless) and Eric Stonestreet completely and utterly unrecognizable as Cameron from Modern Family) and you've got yourself a completely average in every way comedy.

In conclusion, Bad Teacher is not something you are going to remember for a long time. Heck, I'll probably forget about it by the end of the summer. That's not to say it's without merits completely. There are very funny parts of the film. Still, it's predictable and average in every way.

Grade: C

[In case anyone actually reads this, I'll be away from the blog for three weeks. I'll be back sometime after July 22.]

The Green Hornet (DVD)

Well, the good news is that The Green Hornet is not the worst movie of the year. That's not to say it's good, or even average, but it is not terrible. The thing about it is there is a lot of talent involved and it's almost sort of a shame that it is as bad, or really, as grating as it is. Director Michel Gondry is responsible for directing one of the best movies of the 2000s (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) and his direction here is fine. It's just a shame he couldn't craft a better film.

The Green Hornet stars Seth Rogen (who also co-wrote with his Superbad/Pineapple Express writing partner Evan Goldberg) as spoiled, cocky rich brat Britt Reid. And there's your first problem. Or actually, first two problems. First of all, I'm sorry but Seth Rogen will never be a charismatic leading man action hero. He's lost a lot of weight and he looks great, but he will always be the slightly chubby, adorable teddy bear of a dude that you meet at a bar and want to get a drink with and maybe eat some burgers and get high and talk about comic books. Second of all, his character is so highly unlikeable that it is nearly impossible to cheer for him in any way. He's a jerk. A rich, spoiled dick who treats his bestie Kato (Jay Chou) like shit and nearly sexually harasses his brand new secretary, Lenore (Cameron Diaz). Anyway, after the sudden death of his billionaire publishing mogul dad (Tom Wilkinson), he takes over the responsibilities of running a newspaper and decides to become a superhero with the help of Kato, who is kind of bad ass and a martial arts expert. Needless to say, Kato does all the work but Reid takes all the credit. They beat up a lot of gang members and drug dealers but the ultimate showdown comes when they get mixed up with the man who practically runs the L.A. crime scene, Chudnofksy (Christoph Waltz).

And there's where it gets mildly interesting. Not the story line. No, that is watered down and so boggled down with mythology and back story and silliness that it doesn't even really matter. I mean, really, the entire third act is a fucking joke, so ridiculous and over the top, that it's not even entertaining. No, the interesting part is Christoph Waltz, who is magnetic on screen. He is evil incarnate, if he wants to be, but also funny as hell. This is why he won an Oscar for his brilliant portrayal in Inglourious Basterds. It's a shame there isn't really much for him to work with here. The terrible script (and Seth and Evan wrote a BRILLIANT script for Superbad!) almost turns him into a caricature, but Waltz manages to craft a bit of a believable comic book villain out of the crap he has to work with. He's simply fascinating to watch. The only other mildly enjoyable parts of the movie were the cameos by James Franco (!!) and Edward Furlong (!!!). Other than that, and I'm sorry to say it, this movie is a mess.

Grade: D+