November 2015

The Final Girls
Stars - Taissa Farmiga, Malin Akerman
Plot - The daughter of a B movie scream queen gets transported to her mom's most famous horror movie where she must survive a killer and come to terms with her mom's death.
Thoughts - This is the sort of movie you might only enjoy if you really love horror movies (as I do). It's clever and fun, but I also think the idea is a lot better than the execution.
Grade - B-

Z for Zachariah
Stars - Margot Robbie, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Chris Pine
Plot - The possible last surviving woman in a post apocalyptic world finds herself in a love triangle, because sure, that would happen.
Thoughts - I actually really liked the storyline,  no matter how ridiculous it was. Too bad the whole thing was just so damn boring.
Grade - C+

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl
Stars - Olivia Cooke, Thomas Mann
Plot - A teenage filmmaker who hates everything is forced by his mom to hang out with a classmate dying of cancer.
Thoughts - I really loved the book this is based on, and while the movie never quite gets as good, it is still a pretty solid, funny, heartfelt movie.
Grade - B

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2
Stars - Jennifer Lawrence, et al
Plot - Katniss must finally bring down that nasty Capital.
Thoughts - The first thing it has going for it is that it's better than Part 1 although that's not hard. Despite the fact that it starts mid-scene, and is too long (Attn: Hollywood, stop splitting movies into 2 parts. I know you make twice the money, but is it really worth it to make two disjointed movies filled with filler when you could make just one bad ass (albeit long) movie?), Mockingjay is filled with action and heart. Part 2 may noy be the best of the bunch (see Catching Fire), but it is a pretty good ending to the series. 
Grade - B

Spotlight
Stars - Michael Keaton, Mark Ruffalo, Rachel McAdams
Plot - The true story of a group of Boston journalists who investigate and uncover the decades long cover up of priests molesting children in the Catholic Church.
Thoughts - I know it doesn't necessarily sound like the kind of movie you would want to rush out and watch, but it's easily one of the best movies of the year. The cast is incredible, the performances are stellar, and the script is fast paced which helps make this movie intensely watchable. Maybe a little difficult to keep track of all the secondary characters though.
Grade -  A-

Pitch Perfect 2
Stars - Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson
Plot - The Bella's are back and trying to win the a capella world championship.
Thoughts - The first film is not necessarily good, but at least compulsively watchable. This is a pretty terrible follow up. Plot wise, it's terrible. Just fast forward to the music, which is fun.
Grade - (a pretty generous) C-

Creed
Stars - Michael B. Jordan, Sylvester Stallone
Plot - The son of Apollo Creed enlists his old frenemy, Rocky Balboa, to train him as a boxer.
Thoughts -  Truth? I've never seen a single Rocky movie. But, alas, the only thing I love more than a boxing movie is Michael B. Jordan, so I was in. And luckily, this is a really well done, really heartfelt, funny, wholly crowd pleasing film. Sylvester Stallone might be an Oscar contender come nomination time. And, finally, Michael B. Jordan's biceps, ya'll.
Grade - B+

Brooklyn
Stars - Saoirse Ronan, Emory Cohen, Domhnall Gleeson
Plot - A young woman in the 1950s moves from Ireland to New York for better  opportunities.
Thoughts - This might be the best movie I see this year and if it's playing at a theater near you, call off work or school and run to the theater right now. I told myself I wouldn't give out an A+ until I saw a movie as good as or better than The Social Network, and while this isn't quite that, this is as near to perfection as you can get. It's funny and sad and romantic and just completely entrancing. I loved this movie so much and if you ever listen to me about anything, go see Brooklyn now.
Grade - A

This Means War

Let's start on a positive note - The only person hotter than Tom Hardy is Chris Pine. I'll admit, I didn't really think this movie looked all that good. In fact, with a different cast, I would have skipped it all together. But Chris Pine's deliciously blue eyes? Tom "I have the best lips in Hollywood" Hardy? Are you kidding me? I was so there. Yes, I will fully admit, although I am serious about films and I love movies, sometimes I just wanna go watch a couple of hot guys fight over a cute girl. And on that aspect, I wasn't disappointed in This Means War at all. Pine was dreamy as a charming womanizer and Hardy was sexy as a divorced dad, both trying to woo Reese Witherspoon's adorably neurotic Lauren. I'll admit, I would have liked the movie better had Pine and Hardy somehow made out at the end, but on sex appeal alone, This Means War succeeds. On that note, the only thing that could have made it better is if Michael Fassbender showed up at some point.

Now on to the rest... This Means War is this terribly hodge podge movie that caters to the idea, "Let's throw everything against the wall and see what sticks." The main problem with the movie is that it has no idea what the hell it wants to be. Is it a romantic comedy? Is it a bromance? Is it a thrilling spy caper? Is it a buddy movie? Who the hell knows! The script, the movie, the soundtrack - everything - is so random and thrown together that it is both ridiculous and kind of fun. Sometimes this crazy pace and inclusion of EVERYTHING actually works and makes the movie fun in a frantic kind of way. Other times, it is just puzzling and makes you want to ask what the hell the screenwriters and McG were thinking.

The story basically follows Lauren (Witherspoon) a sweet girl who is single in Los Angeles after following her old boyfriend to the city. A few months after they arrived, he cheated and she spends more time with Boggle these days then she does with men. On the advice of her horny but married friend (Chelsea Handler), she decides to sign up for on line dating. This is how she meets Tuck (Hardy), a CIA spy who claims he's a travel agent. They have a nice and sweet lunch date and then Lauren decides to go rent a movie (SERIOUSLY??? Was this script written in 1997?? Nobody rents movies anymore. Are there even places TO rent movies anymore? Besides Red Box, obviously.). Anyway, there she meets the confusingly named FDR (Pine) and he immediately comes off as too slick and too charming but somehow she starts to like him anyway. So, Lauren is faced with the problem of dating two gorgeous men at once. I mean, I guess it's a problem. A girl like me would never actually know whether it is a problem or not. Personally, it sounds like a pretty great problem to have. Anyway, further confusing the matter, FDR and Tuck are best friends and partners in the CIA. At first they decide to both date her and let her decide who to be with. Of course, they both fall for her and then all bets are off. Throw in some international spy organizations and you've got yourself This Means War.

Like I said, the movie is mediocre at best. Sometimes it's fun but sometimes it's such a convoluted mess. However, I will totally recommend it for Pine and Hardy, who are both way too hot for words.

Grade: C

Mini Reviews + Best of 2009 (So Far)

First, here are two very, very, very short reviews. I have discovered that you don't really need a lot of words when talking about awful movies.

Year One - All of the funniest parts are in the trailer. Michael Cera is funny. The movie is boring.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - My momma always told me, "If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all."


Now, since it's already July, I decided to make a top ten list of the best movies of 2009 so far. Then I realized that there are not ten movies to put on the list. So, I cut it down to five. And, still, I only really feel happy about one of these movies. 2009 has been a really terrible year for movies so far. I mean, my top five includes a horror film, two comedies, an action movie and an animated Pixar movie. Anyone who knows me, knows these are not necessarily my favorite types of movies. Then I tried to do a small list of the best actors and actresses of the year and I couldn't come up with anyone! However, I did come up with a supporting actress (Monica Potter - Last House on the Left who is so emotionally devastating) and supporting actor (Jackie Earle Haley - Watchmen who is literally the only good thing about that movie). So here it is - my very pathetic Top Five List.

05. Adventureland - Greg Mottola's follow up to Superbad isn't quite as laugh out loud hilarious as its predecessor but it is a charmingly sweet and often funny look at falling in love for the first time and growing up and making friends. Martin Starr is hysterical but who can really expect less from the man who created Bill Haverchuck.

04. The Hangover - The funniest movie of the year, for sure. (NOTE: Have yet to see Funny People, which I have huge hopes for). A very simple movie about a group of friends and the crazy shenanigans they get into in Las Vegas. The movie is just simply funny. Plus, technically, it's a whole lot better than it needs to be.

03. Up - Not quite as good as last year's Wall-E but still charming and sweet and funny. It's well written and well executed. I did find it a little on the depressing side but that doesn't mean I think any less of it as a very good film.

02. Star Trek - For someone who has never seen a Star Trek TV show or movie in their life, I quite enjoyed the new movie. Chalk it up to great writing or a great, likeable cast. I don't know but it had a lot of funny parts and a lot of action packed parts. Plus, it had Chris Pine shirtless and I would sincerely like to thank JJ Abrams for that.

01. The Last House on the Left - Simply amazing. It's the kind of movie that just sticks in your head no matter how hard you try to get it out of there. Sure, it's tough to watch but there is so much beauty mixed in with the horror and the terror. The directing is so far and away above anything in the "horror" genre lately that it's truly inspiring. The performances are all top notch. It's one of those rare remakes that are actually better than the original. Like I said, I think Hollywood can only correctly remake Wes Craven movies so here's hoping the Nightmare on Elm Street remake is up to par.

Coming soon - Anticipating the second half of 2009, review of Public Enemies.

Summer Movie Season Begins - Mini Reviews

Star Trek - An early summer film and so far my favorite. You most definitely do not need to be a Trekkie in order to enjoy Star Trek. The film follows the young, cocky Captain Kirk (major hottie Chris Pine) as he follows in his deceased dad's footsteps and joins Starfleet. After cheating on a test, conning his way on board the ship, he finds himself in the middle of a major battle with Romulan bad guy Nero (Eric Bana). On Kirk's side, the un-emotional Spock (a superb and perfectly cast Zachary Quinto), hilarious Scotty (Simon Pegg), sexy Uhura (Zoe Saldana), doctor Bones (Karl Urban), Chekov (Anton Yelchin) and Sulu (John Cho). The action begins pretty immediately and it doesn't really let up though the well-paced script also leaves plenty of time for character development (which is nice for people who are not well-versed in Star Trek lore). The movie is very well cast and everyone does a stand up job with Pine and Quinto clearly the stars. J.J. Abrahms does this really annoying camera flare thing that just grates on your nerves after a while. Overall, the film is a fun, action filled ride and the best of the summer so far.
Grade: B

Angels and Demons - At 2 hours plus, the movie is about an hour and 40 minutes of exposition. It's Man of Science (Tom Hanks) vs. Man of God (Ewan McGregor). But really it's just a whole lot of boredom. Hanks is Professor Langdon again and he's in Rome tracking down the trail of the Illuminati, an ancient cult that hid clues around Rome. For being so damn smart, he makes a lot of mistakes before he finally finds the truth. Although I guess we wouldn't have a movie if he didn't. It's a movie that is predictable at best. You can see the outcome a mile away. Angels and Demons is just a huge waste of time.
Grade: D

Terminator Salvation - Where oh where to begin? First of all, shame on McG for ruining a series that James Cameron made pretty damn perfectly. I wouldn't have let McG anywhere near this series. (And, for the record, I'm one of the few who actually enjoyed Terminator 3). The action is just a huge mess; you can hardly tell what's going on most of the time. Christian Bale's acting is so over the top it's hard to believe he was once a promising actor. It's actually a shame to be Bale right now. First he was out-acted by Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight, now Sam Worthington in Terminator. Worthington is the only thing worth raving about. His character is completely riveting and his performance is pretty damn great. Anton Yelchin, as young Kyle Reese, is worhty of praise as well. There's a horrible "Arnold" cameo and the last 10 minutes are just so completely laughable. Terminator is just a pretty huge mess. Also, note to those behind Salvation - if you are trying to reboot a franchise, it's probably best NOT to kill your only interesting character in the first film.
Grade: D

Drag Me To Hell - I think I would rather go to hell than sit through this mess of a movie. "The return of true horror?" Really, Sam Raimi? If this is your return to horror than you can just go back to making crappy Spider-Man movies. I understand that his horror films have always been a little on the silly / gross side. I'm a fan of the Evil Dead trilogy, for sure. But the difference between the Evil Dead trilogy and Drag Me To Hell is this: the Evil Dead movies were actually good! Anything worth seeing in Drag Me to Hell is in the trailer. The rest of the film is predictable, ridiculous and just plain NOT SCARY. I couldn't possibly have been more disappointed in this film if I tried. Two words for you: talking goat.
Grade: F

Coming Soon - Reviews of The Hangover and Land of the Lost!