3:10 to Yuma, Shoot Em Up

3:10 to Yuma - The truth is, I'm not a fan of the Western in general. I find them too busy, too distracting, too difficult to follow at times. The truth also is that I'm just not that well versed in the Western as a genre. I've seen two that I like: The Quick and the Dead and Tombstone. Other than that, I tend to avoid them at all costs. Perhaps I should rethink that. The remake of 3:10 to Yuma has an intoxicating swagger about it. It's got charm, it's got wit, it's got action, it's got character development and great performances! There's not much more you can really ask, especially at this point in the season. Summer's over. All the blockbuster's are done. The disappointing movies are over. It's time to get into Oscar season. 3:10 to Yuma is the perfect crossover. For me, it wasn't an amazing film but it's a million times better than most of the stuff that came out in the last three and a half months. I'll admit it took me a while to get into the movie which is why I can't ultimately give it a higher grade. At first it was a little on the boring side but about halfway through it really, really picks up and becomes exhilirating. The movie follows Ben Wade (Russell Crowe), a legendary outlaw who is the epitome of badness and coolness. He has a crew of guys who are downright evil (one of which is the wonderful Ben Foster who has really played some of the most interesting characters this year). He gets arrested and a group of men have to transfer him to Contention to make sure he gets on the 3:10 train to Yuma where he'll be imprisoned. One of the men is farmer in debt Dan played by Christian Bale, who perfectly captures the desperation of a man who is continually done wrong by his country, politicians and even God. The film also features Peter Fonda as a bounty hunter and Gretchen Mol as Dan's long-suffering wife. There are horses and gunfights and Luke Wilson makes a surprise appearance. James Mangold (director of Walk the Line) has a gritty approach to the film and it's fantastic. (And Kudos for not giving us a ton of agonizing close ups of clocks). He really builds tension perfectly in the last few minutes. By the way, that ending is fantastic. I don't think I've loved an ending so much all year. I won't ruin it, but, WOW! That's all I have to say. The action is fast paced but also not overbearing. There are breaks to build character and develop plot. But when the action starts, it really starts. The performances are absolutely wonderful. Foster as Charlie Prince, Crowe's right-hand man, is scary and hilarious at the same time - something Foster does so well. Fonda's role is too brief but wonderful. Mol doesn't have much to do but I always wonder why she doesn't make more movies. She's excellent in everything she does, people just need to give her more to work with. But, really, it comes down to an actor showdown between Bale and Crowe. Crowe is having the time of his life playing the bad ass. He's wicked and intense. He's provocative, smug, and, later, shows true compassion and tenderness. Bale is gritty and sympathetic. In a film about atonement, he tries to prove to his family (especially tag along 14 year old son) that he's not a bad father and husband. His performance is subtle and moving. So, who wins the showdown? While I'm more of a Bale person usually, I'd have to say Crowe is a bit better by a hair. With a simple message of friendship, redemption and morality, this movie really is entertaining and well done.

Grade: B

Shoot Em Up - When people say a movie has 'non-stop action,' they usually don't mean it literally. But, seriously kids, Shoot Em Up has non-stop action. This movie has absolutley no regard for logic, plot or development. It leaves all that, you know, the boring stuff, completely out of the picture. And the result is something that is halfway fun and halfway eye-rolling ridiculous. Half the time I didn't know if I should laugh or be offended. The movie starts with the mysterious Mr. Smith (Clive Owen) coming to the rescue of a pregnant woman and, after cutting the umbilical cord via bullets, and, after the woman is shot in the head, somehow decides to raise the baby who a bunch of crazy men are trying to kill (including a truly wicked Paul Giamatti) with the help of his lactating hooker friend (Maria Bello). Like I said, there is pretty much no plot here at all. That doesn't mean it's not fun! Among the many shocking/fun/ridiculous moments: Clive Owen kills multiple people with a carrot. Oh, and since the movie is called Shoot Em Up, there are a lot of gun fights. Gun fights while sky diving. Gun fights while having sex (which apparently will give you the best orgasm of your life!). Gun fights while in the playground. Clive Owen is absolutely perfect for the tragic hero sort of character he plays often. He's cocky and charming with a great swagger about him. Plus, he's just about the sexiest actor working today. Paul Giamatti is wonderful here as well. But, honestly, it was all just a little bit too much for me. I mean, I know that's what the movie was going for but I really don't need to see a man carrying a baby around while he's shooting ten other men and then jumping from a building into a window and crashing into someone's living room. The whole thing is fun. The action is there. The dialogue is atrocious. It loses it's steam somewhere around the final act and what started out as entertaining becomes ultimately tiresome. Still, it's definitely a fun time. In the end, it was all just a little bit too ridiculous for me.

Grade: C-

Transformers, Puccini For Beginners (DVD)

Transformers - To begin with, I was as excited about this movie as the next kid. After all, I loved Transformers when I was a kid. But, then again, I was, you know, like, six. It actually wasn't until about a third of the way into the film, when the autobots began talking, that I truly realized how ridiculous this movie really was. Anyway, apparently Steven Spielberg was so impressed with auteur (ha!) Michael Bay after seeing his nuanced work in The Island (if nothing else, at least I'm amusing myself with this review...) that he so eagerly sought him out so that Spielberg himself could executive produce his next film - Transformers. I could only imagine what the pitch meetings for Transformers were like. Not only did they encourage everyone to throw out any and all ideas - they even decided to put any and all ideas into the script! Sure Transformers is sort of fun... in the way that car crashes are fun. It's like watching Nascar or, no, even worse, a really, really, really, really, really, really long car commercial. If loud and abrasive and ridiculous and silly are fun, then, sure, it's fun. I'm sure everyone knows what the movie is about. I don't need to tell you plot. The movie stars a lot of names. Jon Voight as the secretary of defense, Shia LaBeouf as the kid that might save the world, Megan Fox as the hot girl who is there soley to impress the 15 year old boys, Josh Duhamel as an Air Force dude who we learn has a newborn baby he's never held. I guess we are supposed to really want to see him get back to Fergie, I mean, his blonde girlfriend/wife/whatever and their baby. I mean, these people are under the mistaken impression that I actually care enough about Josh Duhamel to really give a crap if he lives or dies. I mean, he's not exactly an engaging actor. And then, to make matters better or worse or whatever, John Turturro shows up. I'm not even sure why. Perhaps it's because he was really sick of having such an awesome resume that he thought to himself, "Hey, I should go sign up for a big budget action flick and give the single worst performance in the my entire career. Wouldn't that be a treat for everyone?" Shia deserves some extra credit points here and not just for being super hot. Not since Leonardo DiCaprio was on a certain sinking ship has an excellent actor delivered such awful dialogue with such charm and wit. There's a reason why he's the Current/Next Big Thing. Even Shia can't save the movie. But the emotion he shows when his autobot friend Bumblebee is dying is really, really amazing. Yet, I can't really say I felt a damn thing. I mean, these people are under the mistaken impression that I actually care about a car/robot. What can I say on the plus side? Well, the special effects are amazing... probably the best I've ever seen. But it's 2007 and that's to be expected. We're well past the point where a film should get extra points for having great special effects. In the end, Transformers was just a huge disappointment for me. It's a good thing that the movie has already made over $100 million and it really doesn't matter to anyone what I think. If anything, Shia LaBeouf is going to become a huge star because of Transformers. Based on recent interviews I've read with him, I really don't think it could happen to a better kid. He seems like he has his head firmly planted on his shoulders and I don't think he'll be entering rehab any time soon. So, at the very, very least, one good thing will come out of this messy movie. Well, that and my new girl crush on Megan Fox. I guess I'm as susceptible as those 15 year old boys.

Grade: D-

EDIT: All right, whatever, the special effects were really amazing, so: D

Puccini For Beginners - Never in my life have I related more to a fictional character than I did to Allegra (played brilliantly by the brilliant Elizabeth Reaser). I don't really know what that says about me. She says things like, the idea of marriage makes her sick to her stomach. And when talking about commitment, she says it's such an awful word because it's usually used in the context of people being commited to mental hospitals. I just absolutely love this character. Perhaps that's why I probably enjoyed this movie far more than the average viewer might. For once, this is my kind of complicated love story. It's sort of a throw back to those brilliant screwball comedies that I love so much (like Bringing Up Baby). It follows Allegra, a smart and cynical New York writer who recently broke up with her lesbian girlfriend Samantha (Julianne Nicholson). Soon, Allegra starts to date a man (Justin Kirk)... and his ex-girlfriend (Gretchen Mol). This was truly an intelligent, fun, witty, entertaining film. It was shot beautifully, using all New York City has to offer. The script was great and the performances by the main actors were even better. In a lot of ways, it reminds me of a lot of early work by - are you ready for it - Woody Allen. Now I'm sure you all understand why I loved it so (except, if Woody had written it, it probably would have been even funnier and better). This movie is just so damn cute. I highly advise everyone to rent it as soon as possible. And then tell me how much I remind you of Allegra (except for the whole lesbian thing... although that option is looking better and better lately). And except for the fact that Elizabeth Reaser looks like a goddess. Netflix it now.

Grade: B+