Sicko, Factory Girl (DVD)

Sicko - A short coversation I had with my mother this morning: Mama - "What movie did you go see last night?" Me - "Sicko." Mama - "Oh, is it a horror film?" Me - "Kind of." Sicko is the kind of thought provoking film that just might terrify you. I never really realized just how bad our health care system is here in the United States. In the last few years, I've become more and more disappointed with our government and the state of our country. In light of seeing this documentary, I admit that I am rather ashamed of our government and health care system. It's a disgrace. I honestly can't believe that third world countries such as Cuba have health care systems that are more or less free. It's a riveting look at the state of our country from director/writer/producer/liberal Michael Moore. This is the best film Moore has done yet. It is less sensationalistic than Farenheit 9/11 (although I enjoyed that as well). It is absolutely not Bush bashing in the least. It's not anti-American in the least. It's pro-bettering America through knowledge and education. It's really a shame that there were four people at this film when I saw it last night. People should be spending their money and time on something like this and getting educated on the topic rather than seeing mind-numbing movies like Transformers and Pirates of the Caribbean and The Simpsons (although I haven't seen it so whatever). I really, really, really hope this film makes an impact in the upcoming election. This movie is emotionally effective as well. There are multiple times when my eyes watered up. It's absolutely disgusting to see a young mother lose their 14 month old child to high fevers because her insurance company would only pay for pre-approved hospitals and the hosptial she went to kicked her out because her insurance wouldn't cover it. How can people do that to other people? I really don't know what is worse: not having insurance at all or having it and having your claims be denied for bullshit reasons? Moore takes everything a step farther when he shows the despicable way rescue workers at Ground Zero were treated after the disaster because many of them were not officially employed by the government or were volunteers. This is a movie you absolutey have to see. Then Moore visits other countries with impeccable health care: you pay nothing, you have little wait time at hospitals, you get medication for cheap, cheap prices. These countires (Canada, Britain, France and even Cuba) want to help their people. They do preventative care. In Britain, they even pay YOU for your transportation costs to get to the hospital! Things need to change in our country and I really hope this documnetary will educate viewers and, hopefully, have an impact on the future of our country.

Grade: B+

Factory Girl - This seems to be a growing trend. There's a movie that I just can't wait to see and after months and months and months of waiting, I finally see it and... it's a terrible, disappointing mess. This is how it was with Factory Girl. This film is just cliche after cliche after cliche. The characters are all two-dimensional (I'm sorry but Andy and Edie are far more fascinating in real life than they appear to be in this terrible after school special-esque movie). The script is uninspired and falls flat most of the time. To be fair, Sienna Miller does an absolutely wonderful job with the material she was given. But, unfortunately, it's not a lot to work with. One of the major flaws in the movie is that there are really no characters that you can actually like. Characters kept calling Andy Warhol's artwork superficial, and really, this movie is just superficial. No character is ever developed enough to care about them. I should probably give props to Guy Pearce while I'm at it because I imagine it's very hard to try to portray someone like Andy Warhol who is now more than an icon than a man. However, the choices in this movie left him feeling more like a parody than a person. The film takes the easy road more than once with the depiction of drugs that look like an After School Special and predictable dialogue. There are the obligatory walks through Central Park to show they are in New York and even a shot of the Eiffel Tower which just yells, "Hey, we're in Paris now!" The casting of Hayden Christensen as a Bob Dylan esque character (Billy Quinn!) is just completely bizarre to me. The thing that bugs me most though is the way this film portrays Edie who I've been fascinated with for years. It's a shame that this may be some people's only introduction to her life because it's really not worthy of her (or Warhol for that matter). They both deserve much more than this. All of these characters who are endlessly fascinating and all of these experiences and the way they shaped the art culture of the 60s is an interesting story. There is a riveting film in there somewhere. Factory Girl just isn't it.

Grade: D+

Hairspray, Premonition (DVD)

Hairspray - Hairspray is the kind of movie that immediately puts a smile on your face. It's a charming, well done musical. Is it as glossy as last years big musical, Dreamgirls? No. Dreamgirls surely looked better but as far as story, characters, and substance, Hairspray is far superior. The story follows chubby teenager Tracy Turnblad (Nikki Blonsky) in 1960's Baltimore. She and her best friend Penny Pingleton (an adorable Amanda Bynes) are obsessed with the dance program The Corny Collins Show hosted by James Marsden. Tracy also has a major crush on one of the stars of the show - Link Larkin (Zac Efron). Despite her mother's (John Travolta!) discouragement, Tracy auditions for the show and Corny picks her eventhough the station manager Velma (a delightful, evil, wonderful Michelle Pfeiffer) objects. Lots of singing and dancing ensues. Queen Latifah, Brittany Snow, Allison Janney, Elijah Kelley, and Christopher Walken round out the stellar cast. Also, look for cameos from some of the gang from the original Hairspray movie: Jerry Stiller, Ricki Lake and original director John Waters. Eventhough Hairspray may seem dated (takes place in the early 60's, remake of a movie from the late 80's), its very much like Grease in the sense that it's timeless. The songs are great (my personal favorite is 'Ladie's Choice' by Efron... and I can see why he elicits screams from young girls - he's dreamy!). The cast is nothing short of amazing. Pfeiffer, making a return to the screen after way too long, is easily the stand-out. She's just having so much fun being so, so very bad. Bynes would get my best runner up award as far as performances go. She's adorable and hilarious. Blonsky is a wonderfully capable newcomer. Walked is mostly being Walken (and there is definitely nothing wrong with that) and Travolta is having the time of his life - especially during hs homage to Tina Turner near the end. The story drags a bit and the cinematography could have been stronger but all in all, Hairspray is one fun movie!

Grade: B

Premonition - What Sandra Bullock lacks in talent (let's face it - she's no Meryl), she makes up for in likeability. I find it very difficult to not like her when she's in a film. She's easy to cheer for and you really want to like the swill she turns up in most of the time. I actually really liked her last attempt at traversing space and time in film - The Lake House - but that made up for all the plot holes with chemistry to spare from Bullock and Keanu Reeves. There is zero chemistry between Bullock and her Premonition love interest Julian McMahan. I like him but he's going through the motions here. McMahon plays Bullock's husband who dies one day and is alive the next. It goes back and forth and things happen that Bullock can't explain. People talk to her like they've met before but she doesn't know who they are. Here daughter has scars all over her face and doesn't know why. There are random dead birds and strange phone messages. So, in short, Premonition is sort of a mess - bad supporting actors giving wooden performances, a script that isn't nearly as clever as it thinks it is, plot holes galore. The only thing it really has going for it is Bullock's likeability factor. You want to root for her. Unfortunately, likeability only gets you so far and Bullock just can't save this movie.

Grade: D+

Blood and Chocolate (DVD), Captivity

Blood and Chocolate - First let's talk about what is good in this movie (because that is a much, much, much shorter list): Hugh Dancy. He's got charm to spare. He does his absolute best to work with the crappy dialouge has was given. The good news is that thanks to his great performance in Evening and the fact that he's gaining recognition, he'll never have to make a crappy movie like this again. Now, the bad, or, everything else. This movie is just plain awful. The editing and storytelling was chaotic at best. The script was poor and the acting (by stars Agnus Bruckner and Olivier Martinez) was terrible. The characters are all stereotypes of stereotypes of stereotypes. Even without the bad acting and writing, the movie itself is just plain boring. But worst of all, the way the film was shot looks like a TV movie of the week and not a feature film. The story of a romance between a werewolf and a human has been done to death in countless better films. This movie is very much like Underworld but even less interesting (if that is even possible). It's not much of a werewolf movie and isn't even remotely close to a horror film. There was no development... nothing! Of course, compared to the next movie I'm going to talk about, it's a masterpiece.

Grade: D-

Captivity - If Captivity were to win an award, the award would be called the "How Not To Make a Movie Award" or, perhaps, "Worst Acting, Screenplay, Directing and Most Mistakes EVER Award." When I found out this was from "After Dark," I immediately became worried. After all, they are responsible for Horrorfest which was the biggest disappointment in the horror genre in recent years. Elisha Cuthbert plays a model who is suddenly abducted from a club and thrown into a dungeon sort of room in the basement of a house in Jersey. She is supposedly tortured but the tortures are definitely not frightening. I mean, these people obviously watched Saw and Hostel, you think they could have at least ripped them off a little more and came up with something scarier. These supposed tortures border on comical when she's stuck in an hourglass type situation with sand falling on her. Sure the idea is cool but I could think of a million ways I'd rather torture the people who made this movie. But, hey, for being held captive for four days, the girl sure does get a lot of wardrobe changes so life can't really be all that bad, right? There is absolutely no character development at all. Actually Cuthbert's character (whose name I really don't care about) is sort of a brainless blonde bimbo type and there's really no reason at all to like her. She's stupid too. Her preferred way to try to escape from a car is to pound on the windows instead of trying the door handle. I cared more about her character's dog who may or may not have been shot then I did about her. Every "twist" these people cooked up was apparent at least an hour before it actually happened. Everything about this movie is just so contrived and fake. And there are so many mistakes in this movie that I wouldn't even begin to be able to count them all. Now, the acting. I know that Elisha Cuthbert is no Meryl Streep. But, she was fine enough in The Girl Next Door (which is pretty much the only movie I even know she was in). Honestly, I have no idea why she gets jobs now that I've seen this movie. She's absolutely awful. Horrible. Terrible. So bad I can't even think of a word that is bad enough to describe how bad she was. The guy isn't a good actor either (I have no idea what his name is and I don't care because I'm pretty sure he's not going to be someone we'll ever see on screen again) but at least he looked like he was having a little bit of fun with his role. This is, almost definitely, the single worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life. Worse than Ocean's 12, you ask? 100% yes. (And you know how much I HATE Ocean's 12). If I could give this something lower than an F, I most certainly would. Can I give it a negative grade? A negative F?

Grade: F (to infinity)

Transformers, Puccini For Beginners (DVD)

Transformers - To begin with, I was as excited about this movie as the next kid. After all, I loved Transformers when I was a kid. But, then again, I was, you know, like, six. It actually wasn't until about a third of the way into the film, when the autobots began talking, that I truly realized how ridiculous this movie really was. Anyway, apparently Steven Spielberg was so impressed with auteur (ha!) Michael Bay after seeing his nuanced work in The Island (if nothing else, at least I'm amusing myself with this review...) that he so eagerly sought him out so that Spielberg himself could executive produce his next film - Transformers. I could only imagine what the pitch meetings for Transformers were like. Not only did they encourage everyone to throw out any and all ideas - they even decided to put any and all ideas into the script! Sure Transformers is sort of fun... in the way that car crashes are fun. It's like watching Nascar or, no, even worse, a really, really, really, really, really, really long car commercial. If loud and abrasive and ridiculous and silly are fun, then, sure, it's fun. I'm sure everyone knows what the movie is about. I don't need to tell you plot. The movie stars a lot of names. Jon Voight as the secretary of defense, Shia LaBeouf as the kid that might save the world, Megan Fox as the hot girl who is there soley to impress the 15 year old boys, Josh Duhamel as an Air Force dude who we learn has a newborn baby he's never held. I guess we are supposed to really want to see him get back to Fergie, I mean, his blonde girlfriend/wife/whatever and their baby. I mean, these people are under the mistaken impression that I actually care enough about Josh Duhamel to really give a crap if he lives or dies. I mean, he's not exactly an engaging actor. And then, to make matters better or worse or whatever, John Turturro shows up. I'm not even sure why. Perhaps it's because he was really sick of having such an awesome resume that he thought to himself, "Hey, I should go sign up for a big budget action flick and give the single worst performance in the my entire career. Wouldn't that be a treat for everyone?" Shia deserves some extra credit points here and not just for being super hot. Not since Leonardo DiCaprio was on a certain sinking ship has an excellent actor delivered such awful dialogue with such charm and wit. There's a reason why he's the Current/Next Big Thing. Even Shia can't save the movie. But the emotion he shows when his autobot friend Bumblebee is dying is really, really amazing. Yet, I can't really say I felt a damn thing. I mean, these people are under the mistaken impression that I actually care about a car/robot. What can I say on the plus side? Well, the special effects are amazing... probably the best I've ever seen. But it's 2007 and that's to be expected. We're well past the point where a film should get extra points for having great special effects. In the end, Transformers was just a huge disappointment for me. It's a good thing that the movie has already made over $100 million and it really doesn't matter to anyone what I think. If anything, Shia LaBeouf is going to become a huge star because of Transformers. Based on recent interviews I've read with him, I really don't think it could happen to a better kid. He seems like he has his head firmly planted on his shoulders and I don't think he'll be entering rehab any time soon. So, at the very, very least, one good thing will come out of this messy movie. Well, that and my new girl crush on Megan Fox. I guess I'm as susceptible as those 15 year old boys.

Grade: D-

EDIT: All right, whatever, the special effects were really amazing, so: D

Puccini For Beginners - Never in my life have I related more to a fictional character than I did to Allegra (played brilliantly by the brilliant Elizabeth Reaser). I don't really know what that says about me. She says things like, the idea of marriage makes her sick to her stomach. And when talking about commitment, she says it's such an awful word because it's usually used in the context of people being commited to mental hospitals. I just absolutely love this character. Perhaps that's why I probably enjoyed this movie far more than the average viewer might. For once, this is my kind of complicated love story. It's sort of a throw back to those brilliant screwball comedies that I love so much (like Bringing Up Baby). It follows Allegra, a smart and cynical New York writer who recently broke up with her lesbian girlfriend Samantha (Julianne Nicholson). Soon, Allegra starts to date a man (Justin Kirk)... and his ex-girlfriend (Gretchen Mol). This was truly an intelligent, fun, witty, entertaining film. It was shot beautifully, using all New York City has to offer. The script was great and the performances by the main actors were even better. In a lot of ways, it reminds me of a lot of early work by - are you ready for it - Woody Allen. Now I'm sure you all understand why I loved it so (except, if Woody had written it, it probably would have been even funnier and better). This movie is just so damn cute. I highly advise everyone to rent it as soon as possible. And then tell me how much I remind you of Allegra (except for the whole lesbian thing... although that option is looking better and better lately). And except for the fact that Elizabeth Reaser looks like a goddess. Netflix it now.

Grade: B+

Evening, Catch and Release (DVD)

Evening - There's one problem that most movies with flashback plots suffer from: one portion of the film is usually far more interesting than the other. Evening suffers from that same problem. Evening tells the story of a woman named Ann (Vanessa Redgrave) on her deathbed in present time. She is being tended to by her constantly fighting daughters Nina (Toni Collette) and Connie (Natasha Richardson). Connie has it all: the husband, the kids, the big fancy house. Nina is trying to get her life together. Every few years she finds herself with a new job and a new man. The two sisters struggle to rebuild their relationship while they watch their mother die. While on her death bed, Ann starts going on and on about people her daughters never met or heard of. She also starts remembering a certain weekend in her life where she learned a lot about friendship and love. The flashbacks are the more interesting story line here. It follows Young Ann (Claire Danes) who attends the fancy wedding of her best friend Lila (Mamie Gummer... Meryl Streep's daughter). While at the wedding, she finds herself in a sort of love triangle with her best friends little brother Buddy (Hugh Dancy) and the good-looking doctor Harris (Patrick Wilson) who also happens to be the love of Lila's life... although she's marrying someone else. Glenn Close shows up as Lila's uppity mother and Meryl Streep makes an appearance near the end as the elder Lila (how appropriate!). The performances, of course, are wonderful. How could they not be with a cast like this? Still, for all of these amazing women, guess who gives the best performance in the entire film? Hugh Dancy! He's a revelation. Where did this guy come from and how can he play a drunk with such charm and vulnerability? If I had any weight at all with Oscar voters, I would start putting it all behind Dancy right now. I really hope they remember him come December. The film itself is a little uneven. It goes from being utterly interesting to a tad boring. Of course, Toni Collette keeps things interesting in the present tense storyline. The flashbacks are the superior part of the film. Yet, eventhough it's a tad uneven, the writing and performances and script are strong enough to not mind all that much. Plus, the movie is an emotional ride. It's a chick flick of the greatest kind. It may not be the best movie of the year... or the summer for that matter... but's definitely worth your time.
Grade: B


Catch and Release - I had a friend warn me to stay away from this movie because it was surely one of the worst movies of the year. Maybe it's because my expectations were so utterly low (I was expecting something as bad as Evan Almighty here) but I didn't think the movie was really all that bad. I mean, it could have been worse. It could have suffered from not starring two charismatic and charming actors: Jennifer Garner and Timothy Olyphant. Sure, the script was absolutely far fetched but aren't most romantic comedies far fetched? Anyway, the story line follows Grey (Garner) whose fiancee dies just before her wedding. Instead of a reception, she has to go through a funeral instead. Soon after, she realizes she can't pay her rent without him so she moves in with his friends (one of whom is Kevin Smith... playing Kevin Smith... this is either a good or bad thing depending on how much you like Kevin Smith). Soon, she finds herself reluctantly falling in love with her dead fiancee's best friend (Olyphant) eventhough she hated him in the beginning. Juliette Lewis turns up as a woman the dead fiancee slept with and she has a violent son who may or may not be his illigitmate child. The scripts not perfect, the dialogue is lacking, it's not as funny as it thinks it is and all of the romantic comedy cliches are there. Still, it's not a terrible movie. There are times when it's entertaining and it's actually enjoyable enough to not bore you to tears.
Grade: C-

Live Free or Die Hard, Music and Lyrics (DVD)

Live Free or Die Hard - John McClane is back... and better than ever! It seems that summer movies are a bit disappointing so far. Pirates, Spiderman, Evan Almighty... all huge disappointments. But Die Hard does not disappoint. As a matter of fact, so far, it's definitely the most fun you'll have at the movies this summer. This time around McClane (Bruce Willis - who may be 52 in real life but runs around like a 25 year old... plus he's really sexy) has to go pick up and escort a hacker Matthew Ferrell (Justin Long) to FBI headquarters after their computers are hacked. McClane thinks this is a lame job... until he's almost masaquered at the kids apartment. In the meantime, the United States begins to crumble under a nationwide cyberspace attack known as a fire sale engineered by menacing bad guy Thomas Gabriel (Timothy Olyphant). Much like the other Die Hard flicks, logic isn't exactly the strong suit here. But it doesn't matter because it's sheer adrenaline packed excitement. McClane isn't just as tough and resourceful as ever, he is a wise ass at the top of his game. The action scenes are just amazing. There is a particular fight scene with Maggie Q that starts with a few punches and ends with a car chase into an elevator shaft that just blew my mind. And let's not even mention the scene where McClane is driving the 18-wheeler truck while being shot at and chased by a jet trying to bomb him. Long adds a lot of comedy although he doesn't really need to be there just for that... Willis is hilarious. They make a great team. Throw in Mary Elizabeth Winstead as McClane's tough daughter Lucy and Kevin Smith playing an uber hacker named The Warlock and this movie is just plain fun. Even with the PG-13 rating, McClane gets to utter his famous line (in a very, very, very clever way). In a summer filled with disappointments, its nice to see John McClane back. Live Free or Die Hard takes my spot as the best summer mover thus far.

Grade: B+

Music and Lyrics - We all know that romantic comedies are not my thing. Not at all. But, I will give this movie a little credit and say that it is, in the very least, cute. And to give it even more credit, the beginning of the movie is actually almost enjoyable. I actually really enjoyed the first 20 minutes or so which follow Hugh Grant's 80s has-been pop star meeting eccentric plant water lady Drew Barrymore. While Hugh's Alex is trying to write a pop song for a current chart topping sensation, Drew's Sophie randomly spouts a few inspiring lyrics and the two begin to write the song together. That part of the film I actually enjoyed. But once the song is actually written, the movie becomes boring. It becomes a cliche ridden romantic comedy again and loses some of its charm. I'm not saying it's a bad movie, but it's just like every other romantic comedy. None of them are really great and none of them are really bad. They are all the same. I couldn't even remember the main character's names (I had to look them up) because they are like every other main character in a romantic comedy. The film isn't really funny enough to recommend on a pure comedic level and it's not really romantic enough to reccommend on a pure romance level. It's predictable, it's forgettable, and after the first 20 minutes, it's mostly bland and boring. Although, the Pop Up Video at the end of the movie is quite enjoyable. But, basically, it's just your average romantic comedy. If it's your thing then you'll probably like it.

Grade: C