Sucker Punch

I know movies with the word "Suck" in the title are ripe for certain kinds of jokes, but I'm sure that's already been done for this particular film so I'm going to stay away from such generalities. Still, Sucker Punch is not good. With director Zack Snyder on board, I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting. I was sort of ambivilant about his first project, 300. It was fun, I guess, but nothing revolutionary. I hated Watchmen. I think Sucker Punch is at least as bad, if not worse than, Watchmen. And now I am very scared that he is in charge of rebooting the Superman franchise. During the two hours of this movie, all I kept thinking was, "Poor Henry Cavill." He thinks he is finally getting his big break, about to portray one of the most legendary superheroes of all time... and Zack Snyder is totally going to mess it up.

Anyway, back to Sucker Punch. First things first, it's not all bad. There were a couple performances that I'd like to single out as being pretty damn good. I've been on the fence about Abbie Cornish for quite some time now. I've seen her be very, very good in certain movies (Bright Star, Somersault, Stop Loss) but there's something about her that I don't quite like. I could never decide if I like her or not. Now I can say that I do. She's the best thing about a bad movie. Her performance is so layered and complex and it's really a joy to watch. Plus, she is the most ass-kicking of all the bad ass girls in the movie. Then there is Oscar Isaac as Blue, an actor I'm not at all familiar with but who completely wowed me with his volatile villainous turn. He's simply fantastic and I really wish the movie was better so it could be a vehicle for him to get better and bigger roles. Sadly, he's overshadowed by silly effects and bad writing. Jena Malone is also quite good in a rather limiting role. Another plus was the soundtrack. I loved the soundtrack. I can't say enough good things about the soundtrack. From the eerie opening version of Sweet Dreams, to the soaring crescendo of White Rabbit, the soundtrack fricking rocks! But, as far as good things go, that's where I've got to stop being positive, because the bad definitely outweighs the good.

Look, I'm all about movies that empower women. I'm all about the message of this movie which, I guess, is something like "You have all the tools to fight and free yourself from whatever it is that is holding you back. Take control of your life." The message is FANTASTIC. It's just, there seems to be a degrading sub-message that includes insinuating that you can only do that if you wear thigh highs, heels, cute mini skirts and a lot of eye makeup. I'm not sure the movie is sending the right message at all to young girls who might see these bad ass babes and think, "Okay, let me go buy a skimpy body suit and a push up bra and I can fight monsters too." And believe me, I know this movie is aimed at a certain demographic who enjoys that sort of thing and that's fine. It's also fine that a certain demographic will enjoy the slow-mo camera work that Snyder has already done to death (it would be a revolutionary form of camera work if he were to ever actually make a GOOD movie with his skills), the action scenes (that, I guess, were pretty good), and the incredible (and overpowering) CGI. I mean, the whole movie is practicially CGI. It's not necessarily that this is such a bad thing, per se, but when it plays off less like a movie and more like a series of splashy music videos, then we've got a major problem.

Even more of a major problem? There is no cohesive plot! I mean, I guess there is a plot. Yes, one exists. It's just that it's... stupid. I can't really think of a better word to describe it. Emily Browning (pouty lipped, cute and just fine in the role) plays Babydoll, a girl whose mother dies and then she is taken to Lennox House for the mentally insane by her awful step father. There she escapes reality via dancing seductively for high paying men and has to fight monsters / steal objects in order to escape and find freedom. She is joined by her ridiculously named friends Sweet Pea (Cornish), Rocket (Malone), Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens, who is far too precious to play tough), and the normally named Amber (Jamie Chung, somehow the most successful alumni of the Real World, even though there are surely more talented people to come out of that show). So, there is, indeed, a plot. The existence of everything in this movie relates soley to the visuals. Zack Snyder thinks it would be awesome if there was a fight scene with World War I fight planes and dragons and zombie Nazis, so be it! Let's do it! Who cares if it connects to the "plot" in the clunkiest, sloppiest, silliest way possible. People are paying for the visuals, I guess, not an actual story line. All of these things - dragons, zombies, Nazis, ancient ninja warriors, stripper / hookers, hot girls in Sailor Moon outfits, bombs, Samurai swords - sure seem like it would be fun if you rolled it all up and put it in a movie. Instead, it's just silly nonsense.

I could go on, believe me, I could, but I think by now everyone gets the point. If you are going to see this movie, make sure you are fully aware that it's going to be nothing more than a visual orgasm. If you are looking for a movie with any substance whatsoever, any real honest to God PLOT, then please go see The Lincoln Lawyer instead. Abbie Cornish and Oscar Isaac are GREAT, but even they can't save a movie that is buried under overwhelming and nonsensical effects, bad writing and just... silliness.

Grade: D

Elizabeth Taylor, 1932-2011

"I've been through it all, baby, I'm mother courage."

The last of the iconic old Hollywood stars.
In her day, there was no one more beautiful.
Spunky, classy, talent to spare.
Responsible for the single greatest performance of all time in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Limitless

Okay, so there is this little pill called NZT. If you take it, it completely opens your mind up to a world of new possibilities. Instead of only using 20% of your brain, you use all of it. You can recall facts that the normal you wouldn't even realize you knew. You can learn languages in a matter of a weekend. You can teach yourself to play the piano in three days. Oh, and you can learn all kinds of algorhythms that will help you crack the code of the Wall Street world and make you a millionaire in less than a month. Would you take it? What if you found out, after the fact, that all the other people who took the experimental drug are now either dead or very sick. Would you still take it? That's the dilemma that Bradley Cooper's Eddie Morra is faced with.

Eddie starts off the movie a hot mess. He has long strangly hair. He starts drinking at noon. He'd just been dumped by his publisher girlfriend (Abbie Cornish). He's a writer with a book deal but he sits and stares at the computer for hours before writing a single sentence (I know how that feels!). Then he bumps into an old friend, Vern (Johnny Whitworth). Vern was a one time run of the mill drug dealer but now he's better dressed and maybe into something a little more... prestigious. He introduces Eddie to a pill called NZT which Eddie immediately takes. He goes home and he writes 90 pages of his novel in an afternoon. He's feeling better, seeing things differently, having sex with a woman who used to hate him. So, he wants more.

That's just the beginning of Limitless, which is a damn good movie - exciting, adrenaline inducing, thrilling, intense. It's just a fast paced movie, it sort of takes your breath away with its frenetic pacing which only serves this movie about a man whose brain is working faster than yours ever will. The paragraphs above? That's only the first 20 minutes or so of the movie. There are plenty of twists and turns (some of which you see coming a mile away). Limitless has such a fast pace, that it's almost hard to nitpick, but nitpick I will. Like I said, there are particular plot twists that you see coming almost immediately. There are certain big action sequences that get resolved through very implausible ways. The movie focuses almost entirely on Cooper (which is fine because he's great) but almost wastes Robert DeNiro and completely wastes Abbie Cornish. Some of the hokier filmmaking choices I could have done without (letters falling from the sky as he's writing his novel, etc.).

As I said, the movie focuses almost entirely on Bradley Cooper and he is more than up for the challenge. In fact, he's superb in every aspect of this role - as the vulnerable, shy, sort of miserable man at the beginning and then as the confident, charming man throughout the rest of the film. His eyes even seem to shine a little brighter when he's on NZT. I think it's refreshing to finally see him carry a film, and do a damn good job doing it! He's been resigned to playing jerks in supporting roles for so long that it's nice to watch him be the star, and be someone who is more likable than not. Screen icon Robert DeNiro is very nearly almost wasted as a big shot Donald Trump-esque character. It's a shame that kids today only know him as that funny old guy from the Meet the Parents movie. There's an entire generation who don't know that he was once considered a living legend and one of the greatest actors of all time. I wish he'd do more films like this because when he actually has screen time he's damn good, like the DeNiro we all remember and want back so desperately. The same can't be said for Abbie Cornish, who I really am trying to like. I'm finding it hard though and this one note role isn't going to help her case with me. She's got one good scene and it involves her prowess as an ass kicking action star and not her acting skills. That said, I'm more excited to see her kick ass in Sucker Punch next week now!

Overall, Limitless certainly has it's flaws, but it's such a thrilling ride from start to finish that you almost won't even care. Plus, it can open a fun little discussion with your friends over whether or not you would take NZT.

Grade: B

The Lincoln Lawyer

I don't want to get too excited here but I will say this: The Lincoln Lawyer is the best movie of 2011, so far. The thrill of FINALLY finding a movie that is actually good this year may cloud this review just a bit; after all, it's been months and months of crap at the theaters. So, I'm going to start off with the negatives just in case this becomes a review where I praise the hell out of this movie. First of all, one of my biggest pet peeves in a movie is something I call the false ending. That's where you think the movie ends more than once before it actually ends. This movie has about five of those. And it really irks me. I think a lot of crappy decisions in the writing of a film can be forgiven with a really great ending. But, guess what? If you have three or four ideas for a great ending, don't use them all! It's overkill. That is my biggest problem with the film. Other than that, it's all minor things - it meanders in pace from time to time, I wish parts of it had been a little more ambiguous, some overstating of the obvious. But, really, that's it!

The Lincoln Lawyer stars Matthew McConaughey as Mick Haller, a cocky, effortlessly charming defense lawyer whose office is in the back of his car (a Lincoln, hence the title). His m.o. is getting criminals out of jail, druggies, murderers, it doesn't matter as long as the pay checks show up. But then he takes on the case of a pretty rich boy (Ryan Phillippe) who is accused of beating the hell out of a girl he met at a bar... who just so happens to be a prostitute who may or may not have devised this evil plan to get millions of dollars out of the spoiled rich kid, Louis. And that's basically it. Sounds simple, but there are twists and turns and damn great storytelling that will keep you on the edge of your seat. This is an intense legal thriller that has a great feel about it, a gritty, dirty tale of redemption in Los Angeles.

McConaughey gives the best performance of his career as the caddish lawyer who seemingly develops a conscious over night. I'm not his biggest fan but (and I'd truly like to see if he is actually a good actor by having him branch out and do something different, something that shows his vulnerable side) he is solid in this role. It's right in his wheelhouse - effortlessly cool, calm, funny, cockiness under the surface. Another performance that is in an actor's wheelhouse is that given by Phillippe. Again, not his biggest fan, but I do think some of the criticism of him as a "wooden" actor is unjustified. He'll never be the type of actor who can do any kind of role. He's not Meryl Streep, for Christ's sake. But when given a certain type of role - cold, possibly conniving, pretty rich spoiled brat - he nails it. And it's because of his "wooden" acting that allows him to embody seemingly devious characters. The audience is never sure if they should trust a word he says and Phillippe is sort of perfect for a part like that, probably because you're not sure if you like him in real life. The rest of the cast is pretty stellar as well - William H. Macy as Mick's investigator bestie, lightening the mood with his humor and wit, Josh Lucas as the up and coming lawyer from the district attorney's office who isn't above playing dirty, Michael Pena as a possibly innocent man in San Quentin, John Leguizamo as a squirrely bail bondsman, Bryan Cranston as a hardnosed cop, and my man Shea Whigham who all but steals the damn movie in one perfectly played scene. Then there are the ladies, Marisa Tomei as Mick's lawyer ex and Frances Fisher as Louis' tough as nails mom, who are terribly, terribly, terribly under used. That is another of the problems I have with this movie. The men all have riveting, interesting roles. The women? Not so much! Why not hire nobodies? They are wasting the talents of Tomei and Fisher with empty roles.

Overall, the acting is excellent (most of the men are already gracing my best of 2011 lists... although I'm sure some of them won't make the cut once the heavy hitting movies are released). The plot is solid and tight and grabs your attention from the beginning and barely lets you go. The writing is smart and witty. There's a great soundtrack and the film is evenly paced and doesn't flounder or lose it's way too often. The direction is raw and gritty, and I personally like all the handheld camera work although I could understand where it would annoy some as being unnecessary. The Lincoln Lawyer is based on a book in a series by Michael Connelly which means there may be a franchise. I, for one, say bring it!

Grade: B

Coming soon: Reviews of Limitless, Sucker Punch, and more!

Ten Thoughts about Buried

1. So this movie really, really, REALLY is just Ryan Reynolds buried in a coffin for an hour and a half...

2. But, DAMN, if it isn't a goddamn good movie about Ryan Reynolds being buried in a coffin for an hour and a half.

3. First off, the main titles and the opening music are both excellent and instantly draw you into the movie.

4. The opening shot? An uncomfortably long shot of nothing but darkness and quiet. It gives you the unmistakable feeling that this isn't going to be your typical movie. It's unique and it's different and it's intense.

5. At times the movie feels like a film school experiment and sometimes that doesn't quite work. But most of the time, it's eerie and thrilling and intense and claustrophobic and terribly exciting! Yes, exciting! A man stuck in a coffin, buried alive somewhere in the Iraqi desert with nothing more than a flashlight, a Zippo and a cell phone is EXCITING!

6. There is a particularly intense scene involving a rogue snake and a sudden fire that is very exciting. Plus, those last few minutes...

7. Also, conspiracy theories! Terrorists! Thinly veiled commentary about the war in Iraq! It's all right there.

8. I think by now we all know my position on Ryan Reynolds. I'm not his biggest fan but I do think he is very convincing as a charming caddish character actor. Although he's good looking, I don't really buy him as the leading man action star. However, Buried is his absolute finest piece of acting. Not many people can hold someone's attention and command a screen for an entire film (James Franco recently did it in 127 Hours and he had a few other actors to work with; in this movie it's just a snake and some voices on a cell phone). Reynolds is fantastic going from terrified to angry to frustrated to heartbreaking to resigned back to terrified with such ease.

9. The limited filmmaking (really, guys, the set is just a fricking coffin buried underground!) is fantastic.

10. Finally, that ending. Amazing.

Grade: B+

Red Riding Hood

My major problem with any negative reaction to this film by the audience is the following: "Well, it's just like Twilight." No, actually it isn't and if you are going to use that as your argument, then it's an invalid argument with me. Why is it just like Twilight? Because of the sweeping nature-focued cinematography? That's because it was directed by the same person who directed Twilight (Catherine Hardwicke) and she was doing that way before Twilight. So, if anything, Twilight is the way it is because she directed it, not the other way around. Is it because there is a love triangle, or a teenage centric story? Well, guess what? Teenagers spend money, so of course people are going to make movies aimed at them. And the love triangle is as old as movies themselves. Is it because it's about werewolves? So was Teen Wolf but no one is saying that's "like Twilight."
No, if you have a problem with Red Riding Hood, make sure you use a viable argument such as, the hokey dialogue, the unbelievable chemistry, or the lack of any real love triangle in a love triangle plot. There are problems with Red Riding Hood, for sure, but the least of them is appearing too much like Twilight. However, as far as guilty pleasure movies go, Red Riding Hood isn't so bad, especially when you approach it in two ways: 1) It's not going to be the best movie of 2011, okay? So, just have fun. 2) Think of it as a murder mystery / whodunit.
Red Riding Hood is a reimagining of the classic fairy tale but the "Little" part is dropped because our protagonist (Amanda Seyfried as Valerie) is all grown up. The story takes place long ago and far away in a little village where a werewolf is terrorizing the people on every full moon. However, the beast left them in peace for ten years. Now he's back on a blood moon, which means one bite from the werewolf will turn the victim into a wolf as well. Our lovely blonde, big eyed Valerie is caught in a love triangle... or at least, that's what the movie wants you to think. She's in love with Peter (Shiloh Fernandez), an orphaned wood cutter who is a little bit of a bad boy, but is being forced to marry Henry (Max Irons) who she doesn't care about at all. No offense to the screenwriter but a love triangle only exists if there is a push-and-pull between two different lovers. Valerie wants nothing to do with Henry and that doesn't lead to a whole lot of drama. Sure, she loves Peter but you could at least play around with the possibility of her falling for a nice guy like Henry. Not to mention, there is absolutely no chemistry between Seyfried and either of her handsome leading men.
Although the younger cast members have no chemistry, the cast is not something anyone can complain about really. It's quite impressive. Seyfried is perfectly cast as the damsel in distress. Fernandez and Irons are both good enough, and easy on the eyes, which certainly helps make up for any talent they may or may not lack. Virginia Madsen and Billy Burke play Valerie's worrisome parents and Julie Christie gives the whole movie a bit of class by playing the iconic grandmother. Lukas Haas is the town priest who is in so over his head that he calls in a legendary werewolf fighting preist - Father Solomon, who is played with particular zest and haminess by Gary Oldman. Look, at least he's having fun! Oldman struts into this movie with all kinds of swag. He's funny and a little bad ass, and a little crazy but it totally works and he definitely is the best actor in this movie (or at least, he gets the juiciest role). He's aware of what this movie is - not some kind of self-serious movie that will a ton of awards. But, at the very least, it's a fun ride and a decent way to spend two hours on a cold and dreary winter's afternoon.
Grade: C-

Nine Thoughts About Paper Man

1. Plot: A writer (Jeff Daniels) struggling with writer's block rents a home in Montauk to focus on his latest novel. While his doctor wife (Lisa Kudrow) is in the city during the week, he strikes up a friendship with a local loner (Emma Stone), which helps him to find a way to relate to someone. Oh, he also has an imaginary friend (Ryan Reynolds). Who dresses as a superhero. Named Captain Excellent.

2. I'm particularly jealous as I've always wished I had the monetary means to rent a house or a cabin somewhere isolated just so I could focus on writing the novel I'm struggling with.

3. Post-Pheobe, Lisa Kudrow has really begun carving a niche for herself as a sort of powerful, cold, ice queen who is capable of being both hated and loved at the same time. It's quite impressive.

4. The movie is just quirky enough, but not too quirky: living room furniture outside, a couch made of old books, a novel about a hen.

5. I particuarly enjoy Ryan Reynolds when he does movies like this - indie, low budget, dark comedy. I wish he'd stop trying to be a super hero leading man and realize he's a funny character actor.

6. Kieran Culkin does NOT make enough movies.

7. I hate when you can see a plot twist coming a mile away.

8. Girl crush alert!! Emma Stone is beyond adorable.

9. There were a lot of faults with the movie, but mostly I enjoyed it. I love that with all its quirk and off-beat humor, it was really just about finding a real, true, sincere friend.

Grade: B-

Six Thoughts about You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger

1. The ensemble cast is quite possibly one of the most talented Woody Allen has assembled in quite a few years - Antonio Banderas, Josh Brolin, Anthony Hopkins, Naomi Watts.

2. However, best in show belongs to British actress Gemma Jones, portraying an older woman abandoned by her husband (Hopkins), who gets a sports car and a young ex-hooker wife amidst his mid-life crisis. First, she tries to off herself. Then she finds the strength to go on thanks to a psychic who begins to tell her what to do in every aspect of her life. Of course, she also meddles in the life of her daughter (Watts). She's the spark of life in this movie and had the film been a little bit better, and a little bit more successful, she probably could have made a semi-successful run during awards season.

3. However, best storyline belongs to Josh Brolin's Roy. Roy has a medical degree but no desire to practice medicine. Instead, he wrote a successful first novel, but his follow up books haven't shown any of the "promise" he once offered. Struggling to finish his fourth book, his marriage is falling apart and he becomes obsessed with a pretty young girl (Freida Pinto) who moves in across the street. Then an opportunity arises for him. He takes it, and it backfires completely.

4. The plot is very familiar feeling since Woody this is firmly Allen's wheelhouse: men having mid-life crises and marrying younger women, cheating spouses, main characters lying and stealing, those things completely backfiring, an all-knowing narrator. Of course, this his fourth film in the last six years to take place in London as well.

5. Josh Brolin is ridiculously hot.

6. Overall, the movie was only average for me. It's quite apparent that I am more than a little obsessed with Woody Allen by now. I love his films. Annie Hall is my favorite movie of all time. Obviously, he'll probably never make a movie as important as some of his older films and that's fine. He's still an important cinematic voice who demands to be heard. He still has a lot to say (even if most of it is rehashing of old plots and character types). The facts are these - an average Woody Allen movie is still better than most people's best film. I'd rather watch 5 minutes of a bad Woody Allen movie than two hours of a "good" Michael Bay movie. So, in closing, You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger is good, not great. It doesn't match up to some of his better recent offerings (Match Point, Vicky Cristina Barcelona), but it's more memorable than others (Cassandra's Dream, anyone). I would definitely recommend it, but then again, I would recommend any Woody movie that isn't called The Curse of the Jade Scorpion.

Grade: C+