The Bling Ring + Friday Top Five

Ah, the disappointment! If I had made a list earlier this year of the top five movies I was most anticipating this year, The Bling Ring would have been on it (along with The Wolf of Wall Street, Fruitvale Station, The Spectacular Now and The Way Way Back). While the story seems very Lifetime movie worthy (based on the true story of a bunch of L.A. kids who decide to rob the houses of celebrities whose style they admire), with Sofia Coppola behind the camera, it had to be so much more than what it seemed. But I was wrong. The Bling Ring is exactly what it seems. There's no deeper meaning here. Sure, Coppola makes a few very interesting directing choices but for the most part, this is style over substance 101. Plus, for a Coppola movie, this has a very bad script. How many times can you watch a bunch of pretty teenagers break into a house (very easily, I might add) and say things like "Sick" "Hot" and "Oh My God!" The continuous montage of repeating images gets old very quickly. There is a saving grace here though. And that is the performances of Leslie Mann, and especially, ESPECIALLY, Emma Watson, who knocks it out of the damn park. I've never been impressed with her acting before (although I did manage to miss out on that whole Harry Potter craze), but she is so ridiculously good and, also, hilarious in this movie. She's not the star like the media will make you believe. She is supporting, but she steals the entire movie away from everyone else. The movie is almost worth seeing for her performance alone. But everything else is a disappiontment.

Grade: C+

The girls in The Bling Ring behave quite badly: breaking into celeb houses, stealing cars, money, shoes and clothes, snorting obsessive amounts of cocaine. However, if you want five better movies with bad girls, here they are, in this weeks Friday Top Five:

05. Dazed and Confused (Richard Linklater, 1993)
Quite possibly the epitome of mean girls, especially if you are a high school freshman, Parker Posey's Darla is a class A bitch. She gets her kick torturing younger girls and saying things like "Wipe that face off your head, bitch." Ah, high school!

04. Mean Girls (Mark Waters, 2004)
Led by a pre-fame Rachel McAdams, the girls in Mean Girls are the meanest of mean girls. They back stab, they gossip, they make burn books about your flaws, the even turn nice girl Cady (Lindsay Lohan before she went cray) into the queen B of mean girls. Plus, they have pretty terrible parent supervision (see: Amy Poehler).

03. Thelma & Louise (Ridley Scott, 1991)
Maybe Thelma and Louise were just misunderstood. They had a knack for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and you can argue that everything they did was out of love and female friendship and that they are strong, independent women and we should actually be looking up to them. I would agree. But, they sure do lead the police on a cross country crime spree that culminates with that pitch perfect ending.

02. Kill Bill: Volume 1 and 2 (Quentin Tarantino, 2003, 2004)
Uma Thurman's The Bride is just a all around general bad ass. However, she spends the first movie fighting off bad girls Lucy Lui (and, my personal fave Tarantino character, Go-Go), and then she spends the second movie having a knock down, drag out, trailer park brawl with Daryl Hannah, which is glorious and amazing in every sense of the word.

01. Heathers (Michael Lehmann, 1988)
The epitome of mean girl high school movies, the Heathers are the absolute worst of the worst when it comes to mean girls. But good girl turned homicical maniac (homicide, suicide, what's the difference??) Veronica (80s goddess Winona Ryder) doesn't get off the hook here either. Once she hooks up with J.D. (Christian Slater), her life gets terribly complicated.

World War Z

Prior to seeing World War Z, I thought I was going to have a pretty big problem with the movie. I read the book and I really liked it. Then, based on everything I had read about the movie, I thought I was going to have a problem with the fact that the movie seemed to be nothing like the book. Now I can say with certainty that the movie is nothing like the book. In fact, the only thing they have in common is they both contain zombies. If you had no intention of properly adapting the book, then way even base your film on it? You can easily have named this movie something else and left the book for someone who actually wanted to adapt the book. And I still sort of feel that way, I love books just as much as I love movies and I want film to remain as faithful as possible, although I do know it's better to make some changes to source material. Some things just don't translate from the page to the screen. All of that being said, I sort of loved World War Z. Regardless of how much it strayed from the book, the movie was still pretty intense and bad ass.

World War Z stars Brad Pitt as Gerry. He used to work for the UN but has since left that job to stay at home with his wife (The Killing's Mireille Enos) and two daughters. We get approximately 8 minutes of family fun time / morning rituals before the intensity starts. And once it starts it doesn't let up until near the end (which is the problem with the film but more on that later). Gerry and Karen and their kids live in Philadelphia and they are stuck in traffic when the zombie epidemic begins. No one is quite sure what is going on but mass hysteria is beginning and with Gerry's UN background, he recognizes real trouble when he sees it. He also has friends in high places so while his family manages to make it to New Jersey where they temporarily bunk with a nice Hispanic family who give them food and beer, Gerry's friends in the UN higher ups send a helicopter to get his family. They then take him to the brand new U.S. command center on a Navy boat. This help doesn't come without strings, however. In order for his family to remain safe and sound on board, Gerry has to help a young doctor make his way through the raging zombie wars in order to find some sort of cure or vaccine. Gerry's travels take him to South Korea, Israel and Wales where he meets different people and hears their stories.

This is the closest the movie comes to being near the book. The book is basically a series of stories from different people from across the world. We never hear from the same person more than once. There is no main character. And the story that is freshest in my mind (about a bad ass samauri sword wielding blind man) didn't even make the movie. Anyway, during Gerry's travels, he starts to notice things which makes him believe he can find not a cure per se, but more of a camoflauge. This leads him to a research center in Wales where the anti-climactic conclusion of the film takes place.

The first two/thirds of the film are intense and frightening, although the movie ultimately suffers a bit from its PG-13 rating (I know why they made it PG-13, I just wish they had decided to go R, so they could go a little ballsier with some of the scenes). Regardless of the rating, there are still some super awesome sequences, including that already iconic image of the zombies using each other as a sort of ladder in order to get over an Israeli wall. There is also a pretty amazing plane sequence (it rivals that of the sequence in Flight). World War Z manages to be a nearly perfect summer movie: it has a great leading man performance, solid script and directing, and amazing, intense, white-knuckle action sequences. Where the movie flounders is with the ending. Apparently there was an original ending that they ditched which the Internet says is better. I haven't read about it yet, but I'm curious about ideas for an alternate ending. The ending they went with is completely lackluster. The action all but stops and we are left with a seriously misplaced ending. I guess it is sort of refreshing in a world where most superhero movies have three or four endings just so they can destroy more buildings (I'm looking at you, Man of Steel), that World War Z got all their craziness out of the way early, but the ending still feels disappointing.

Overall, World War Z is so much better than I was expecting, if not completely different. Even though it doesn't stick to its source material at all, it still offers a fun, fierce, frightening summer movie experience. This is one of the best of the early summer.

Grade: B

Friday Top Five - Zombie Movies!

Last week, I counted down my Top Five Superhero Movies in honor of the very bland and disappointing (read: BAD) Man of Steel. This week, in honor of World War Z (which I'm super psyched about and hope it doesn't disappoint me), I'm counting down my Top Five Zombie Movies.

5. Planet Terror (2007, Robert Rodriguez)
Planet Terror was the first half of 2007's badass awesome Grindhouse (the second half was Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof, also great, in a different way). Technically, it is a zombie movie but I forgive you for forgetting that. You may have been distracted by Marley Shelton's needle wheeling nurse. Or Freddie Rodriguez's bad ass, kick ass character. Or, more likely, Rose McGowan's stripper turned one legged victim turned hero with a machine gun leg. Planet Terror is over the top, for sure, but all Rodriguez movies are and that's what makes them so damn fun.

4. Dawn of the Dead (2004, Zack Snyder)
I'm no fan of Zack Snyder's. To me, he is too manic, too style over substance, too visual without regard for plot. His other movies (including Watchmen, 300, Sucker Punch and last week's hot mess Man of Steel) have all disappointed me or angered me in various ways. But his remake of Dawn of the Dead is the best thing he's ever done. He manages to capture the intensity of a zombie attack and still make us care about these character stuck inside a mall fighting for their lives. It's the first time his style worked perfectly with the movie he was trying to make and Dawn of the Dead manages to be even better than the original, which doesn't happen very often. Perhaps it's that whole sequence with the pregnant lady turned zombie giving birth to a zombie baby that has something to do with it.

3. Zombieland (2009, Ruben Fleischer)
Zombieland proved you can make a funny zombie movie successfully (although I hear Amazon's attempt at making a TV version of this movie failed miserably). Perhaps it was the absolute perfect cast: ultimate badass Woody Harrelson paired with two of the hottest up and comers at the time: Emma Stone and Jesse Eisenberg. Or maybe it was the pitch perfect script that managed to mix laughs and wit with seering action and great zombie kills. Or it also could have been that extended Bill Murray cameo which would probably top the list if I made a best cameo Top Five list.

2. 28 Days Later (2002, Danny Boyle)
The Walking Dead sort of ripped off the beginning of this film: Cillian Murphy's character awakes in a hospital, seemingly alone, unaware that the end of the world has taken place while he lay inside. It's a great premise and Boyle at his absolute finest nails the empathy and emptiness of this post-zombie attack scene. I haven't seen this movie in quite a few years and it's not as fresh in my memory as I would like, but just making this list makes me want to Netflix it and relive how I felt while watching it the first time- which was utterly devastated. Plus, you can't top that heartbreaking ending.

1. Night of the Living Dead (1968, George Romero)
You just can't top the classic. Without Romero's quintessential iconic zombie movie, we would never have had any of these other zombie movies. As far as movie making is concerned, Romero invented zombies. He certainly changed the landscapes of horror movies in particular, and movies in general, when he released his black and white opus, with (GASP!) a black man as THE hero! That, along with just about everything else Romero did in this film, was utterly unheard of in 1968. This man is an icon of horror film for a reason.

This is the End

I'm sort of torn with how I feel about This is the End. When I left the theater, all I could think about was how damn stupid and pointless it all was. But as days pass and I think about it more and more, I'm left remembering the parts that were really funny. Plus, another movie starring most of these guys - Knocked Up - took quite a while to really grow on me. Now I love it, but that wasn't the case when I first saw it.

This is the End stars real life friends Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill, James Franco, Danny McBride and Craig Robinson as themselves. They find themselves at a house party at Franco's new super mansion. Other guests at the party include Mindy Kaling, Michael Cera, Jason Segal, Paul Rudd, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Aziz Ansari, Kevin Hart, Emma Watson, and, even Rihanna. Soon, the apocalypse happens. Jay and Seth only realize this because they take a party break to walk to a convenience store to get some cigarettes. Everyone at the party think it's an earthquake (or, in one instance, that the Lakers won). Soon, just about every one at the party is sucked into hell except our stars who are left to tough out the end of the world at Franco's house with very few supplies and very weird art.

The best parts of This is the End are damn funny. The two moments that stick out in my mind are their homemade sequel to Pineapple Express starring Jonah Hill as Woody Harrelson, and Franco riffing on art (did you know Subway sandwiches are art??). Pretty much every (limited) line that comes out of Michael Cera's mouth is gold, but they make a huge mistake by killing him off in the first ten minutes. I sincerely love every person in this movie and I have since watching Rogen and Franco on Freaks and Geeks, Baruchel on Undeclared and Jonah (my favorite Jonah!) in everything. That's why I wanted to love this movie so badly. This cast is fantastic and you could tell they are friends in real life. They have a chemistry that is so natural and they make fun of each other the way only friends can. Franco and McBride steal the show by a mile. They are both hilarious and over the top, playing wild versions of themselves. McBride is the loud mouth, trouble starter turned cannibal (!!) and Franco is the pretentious art lover with a sort of obsession with Rogen.

But there are problems here. Rogen also co-wrote and co-directed the film with Evan Goldberg (who he also co-wrote Superbad, probably the best comedy of the last decade, with). I'm not entirely sure they know how to direct a movie, but at the very least they know how to string a bunch of you tube worthy clips together into some sort of cohesive entitity that has a very loose sort of plot and a very general good-natured quality. This isn't entirely a compliment. If these guys want to take the step into directing, they are going to need to learn some sort of craft. They could just always count on calling their funny friends to help them out (although, that seems to work for Judd Apatow). The biggest problem with This is the End is that the basic plot is pretty dumb. And it just keeps getting more outlandish (an exorcism scene) and more outlandish (cannibals) and more outlandish (multi-headed dragons!) and more outlandish (the final scene, which I won't spoil, but which is, possibly, the most ridiculous thing you will see on the screen this year, if not this decade).

So, it's sort of shame that they decided to go in such a far out direction with this film. They could have done an end of the world theme where they didn't really show anything happened but kept it all at a house while a bunch of spoiled celebrities tried to survive while talking about masterbation and while Jonah Hill keeps referring to himself as "America's Sweetheart." It would have been a much better movie, in my opinion. And who knows? Maybe I'll watch This is the End again some time and it will grow on me a bit more. But, for now, the ridiculous aspects ruined what was a perfectly funny movie for me.

Grade: C

Man of Steel

Over the weekend, Man of Steel pretty much made all the money. It seems sort of pointless to even waste my time writing about it, especially since I am going to be quite negative, but here goes.

I don't think I need to give any plot, really. Everyone knows the story of Superman: he is essentially an alien from another planet who crash lands in a Kansas corn field where he is raised by humans (Kevin Costner and Diane Lane) despite being pretty much indestructible. Essentially, he is perfect: he can fly, he can't be hurt, he has super human strength, he is good looking and clean cut; the All-American boy type. And yet we are supposed to feel sorry for him because he doesn't fit in. Sorry, but no. Anyway, eventually, he grows up to be super hot (Henry Cavill) and finds out about his past from the ghost of his dead father (Russell Crowe) and becomes a superhero and has to fight off General Zod (Michael Shannon!!), a military leader who escaped from his planet before it was destroyed. He also falls in love with Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Lois Lane (Amy Adams).

So, this movie has so many problems, I don't even know where to begin. First things first: this movie has absolutely no sense of humor about itself. There is no joy to be found anywhere in this script. It takes two hours and twenty minutes for anyone to crack a smile (and the movie is only two hours and twenty five minutes long). The thing that made Christopher Nolan's Batman series work so well is that, eventhough it's dark and gritty, it at least has a sense of humor about it. Man of Steel is missing that completely. In fact, there is only one scene where there is any sort of emotion at all. Since I don't want to give away any of the spoilers, I will only say that it is the tornado scene. Without that scene, there is a complete lack of any emotion. This movie just takes itself so damn seriously.

Then there is the problem of Henry Cavill. Or maybe it's just Superman's character in general. Maybe since he is an alien, he doesn't need to be exciting. Maybe aliens speak in monotone. Whatever the case, Cavill has absolutely no personality whatsoever in this role. And it's a shame because this is his first big movie role, his chance to be famous (and he will be famous) but because of this, some people who never watched The Tudors may think he can't act. And that's not the case. It's just that this role maybe demands its actor to be boring and bland. This cast is full of great actors but even the great Michael Shannon can't do much with this script. It's like he is above this, really. The only way for him to perform his role effectively is to be over the top and hammy and I think that is a comment on the material because everyone knows Shannon is spectacular and explosive, even in crappy movies. The only actor who really escapes this mess alive is Amy Adams who manages to turn Lois Lane into a fierce, independent woman. So, kudos to her for rising above the limitations of this script.

Another big problem is director Zack Snyder. Sure, he has a few really great moments in this movie, which actually surprised me. More or less, when he stops to breathe, he can really capture beauty, such as a shot near the end with a young Clark playing in high weeds with his dog while wearing a red sheet as a cape. That imagery is gorgeous, and there are a few other moments like that as well. But mostly his hyper shaky, jerky camera technique is distracting and annoying.

I could probably complain about this movie a lot more, but I will end with a note about the over the top action scenes. I guess this is the new norm. The Avengers final fighting scene was crazy. The Iron Man 3 final fight scene was ridiculous. The final fighting scenes (there are about 3 of them) in Man of Steel are just bonkers. I can really only watch two or three or four guys flying through buildings and throwing each other around like footballs for so long before I feel like screaming ENOUGH. If this is the new norm, then I'm bound to hate every new action movie that comes out in theaters.

So, it seems like all of America loved Man of Steel. The audience I saw it with even clapped for it after it finished. I'm glad the movie is successful since I've always been a DC girl anyway, but Man of Steel just wasn't for me. I was actually excited for this movie and it just disappointed me time and time again. It's too long, too serious, and too messy. But, I guess 125 million + in ticket sales can't be wrong, right??

Grade: D

Friday Top Five: Superhero Movies

Subtitled: I Love Batman!

So I have decided to start a series called Friday Top Five, which is pretty self explanatory. (Nearly) Every Friday, I will present my definitive top five list about whatever topic I want. This week, in honor of Man of Steel, I will count down my Top Five Superhero Movies. So, without further ado:

5. Sky High (Mike Mitchell, 2005)
I know, I know. Sky High is a movie I accidentally saw in theaters and genuinely loved. Sure, it's a Disney movie. But it's also really good, has a great story, a lot of heart, and cameos from the likes of Wonder Woman herself, Lynda Carter. The movie follows Micheal Angarano as Will Stronghold, the son of superheroes Kurt Russell and Kelly Preston. The problem? He doesn't have any powers. So, he struggles to fit in when he starts superhero high school (as if high school isn't hard enough!). However, he does form a bond with a few other misfits (Danielle Panabaker as the girl who can control plant life??) and eventually these misfits have to fight it out with the villains in the epic showdown. Sky High is definitely everything you want in a superhero movie and then some. In fact, just writing about it makes me want to go watch it again!

4. Batman Begins (Christopher Nolan, 2005)
It seems 2005 was quite a year for superheroes. The same year Sky High was released, Nolan re-introduced the world to Bruce Wayne. Before 2005's comeback, Batman had sort of become a joke thanks to that awful Batman and Robin movie. But Nolan brought us back to the beginning and he made Gotham and Bruce Wayne more dangerous and darker. We found out that Bruce (Christian Bale) learned everything he knew from a mysterious figure named Ducard (Liam Neeson) and after disappearing from Gotham for years, he returned to kick ass and take names. Those getting their asses kicked included Cillian Murphey's Scarecrow and, of course, Neeson. Throw in Gary Oldman as Jim Gordon, Michael Caine as Alfred and Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox, and you've got the beginning of a very special trilogy.

3. Spider-Man 2 (Sam Raimi, 2004)
When talking about sequels, there is one of two ways it can go: 1. It can suck and be awful and be bogged down by way too much - too many villains, too many sidekicks, etc. 2. Or it can rise above the original because you, the story teller, are no longer bogged down with origin stories and introductions. Spider-Man 2 falls into the latter category. The first Spider-Man was great fun, and featured that awesome kiss, but Spider-Man 2 is Raimi's crowning achievement. It features Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) ready to give it all up. He devoted his life to fighting crime and, instead, he's painted as a villain, the girl he loves (Kirsten Dunst) is engaged to someone else and he's just fed up. But then Alfred Molina shows up as a crazy scientist, and when an experiment goes wrong, as experiments often do, he is transformed into an angry villain named Doc Ock. Peter Parker may be the most sympathetic superhero. We all relate to him because before he got bit by a spider (!!), he was a regular dude, just like us.

2. Batman (Tim Burton, 1989)
One of my very first memories is going to see the original Batman in movie theaters. I will not say how old I was, but I remember going to see it with my older brother and his friend. I remember being completely enthralled by what was before me and that was probably the beginning of my life long love affair with movies, and also with Batman. To this day, I still think Michael Keaton is the best overall Bruce Wayne / Batman. George Clooney was good as Wayne and Kilmer was good as Batman. Bale is up there, but his Batman voice is still sort of infuriating. But it's Keaton who does both charming womanizer Wayne and heroic Batman so, so well. This was also my introduction to Jack Nicholson as Joker. He quickly became one of my favorite actors and his Joker is still such a vibrant part of my memory.

1. The Dark Knight (Christopher Nolan, 2008)
Speaking of Joker... What Nicholson did in the 80s is a completely different animal than what Heath Ledger did with the same character in this film. Ledger was a feral animal, terrifying and unhinged. He was out of control, anarchy in human form, but still somehow likable. I always like to say that every superhero movie is only as good as its villain and that's perhaps why The Dark Knight is the best of the best. This is Nolan's crowning achievment as a film maker and I doubt he will ever surpass it. The Dark Knight is damn near perfect, pushing its hero to the brink, devastating him with a second act murder that we all felt at our core. Joker is a villain like we had never before seen. And guess what? If it wasn't for Heath Ledger and how amazing he was in this role, we would all talk a lot more about Aaron Eckhart's perfect portrayal of Harvey Dent and his descent from role model politician to angry, rageful Two Face. This movie genuinely has it all - great acting, quoteable lines, unforgettable imagery (just try to get that vision of Joker in the nurse's outfit, or sticking his head out the window like a dog), great action sequences and a perfect ending. I will truly be shocked if we get a better superhero movie in my lifetime.

How will Man of Steel rate? Check back Monday and find out!

Mini Reviews (I'm Back)

In case anyone actually reads this, I apologize for my recent absence but things have been sort of crazy at work. Right now, I am going to write a few mini reviews to get caught up on the things I've seen recently (two movies in theaters you might want to check out and two on DVD that you will probably want to avoid), but then I am going to get back to updating this blog more frequently. I also have a few ideas for new funs things to do (i.e. a weekly Friday Top Five list related to new releases or actor birthdays and maybe a Best Director tournament!). But for now, here are quick thoughts on four 2013 releases (from best to worst):

The Internship
Starring: Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Rose Byrne, Max Minghella
Plot: Two salesmen lose their jobs and decide that despite any skill whatsoever that they are going to get a job at Google. The movie follows a summer long internship program.
Thoughts: Despite being way too long and following all the rules of romantic comedy, The Internship manages to be cute, sweet and funny. The best part about it is, of course, Vaughn and Wilson and their perfect chemistry that also worked so well in Wedding Crashers. But the real star of the show is the Google campus which is fascinating and interesting in every sense of the word.
Grade: B-

Now You See Me
Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Mark Ruffalo, Isla Fisher, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Dave Franco, Melanie Laurent
Plot: Four street magicians come together thanks to a mysterious but powerful benefactor to become the most successful magicians with a traveling show where they manage to do completely unbelievable tricks (such as stealing money from a Paris bank while in Vegas). The FBI is hot on their tail though.
Thoughts: Now You See Me benefits from having an almost unrelentless pace, which absolutely works in its favor because if you were given time to stop and think about the whole thing, you would realize how none of it (especially the far fetched, ridiculous ending) makes sense. Still, as far as fun, thoughtless entertainment goes, this is decent.
Grade: C+

Dark Skies
Starring: Keri Russell, J.K. Simmons
Plot: Aliens target a family and slowly drive them crazy.
Thoughts: Cliche, but also really terrible. Simmons is the only - THE ONLY - good thing about it and he's only in it for about 3 minutes.
Grade: D+

Stand Up Guys
Starring: Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, Alan Arkin
Plot: Val (Pacino) is newly released from prison but some powerful people are holding a 28 year grudge and send his bestie (Walken) to give him the night of his life and then kill him.
Thoughts: Remember when Pacino was one of the greatest actors of all time? That whole thing is pretty foggy to me. The more he makes crap like this, the easier it is to forget he was ever even in The Godfather. The end of this movie is actually pretty bad ass, but it's a shame you have to sit through an hour and a half of crap to get to 45 seconds of coolness. On the plus side? It's not as bad as Lords of Salem!
Grade: D-